Jeremy Greenberg - ManWords: Real Words for Real Men

Copyright 2011 by Jeremy Greenberg
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews. Published by
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com ISBN 10: 1-4405-1223-X
ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1223-0
eISBN 10: 1-4405-1436-4
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1436-4 Printed in the United States of America. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Greenberg, Jeremy.
ManWords / Jeremy Greenberg.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-4405-1223-0
1. I. I.

Title.
PN6231.M45G74 2008
818.602dc22
2011010237 This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters. For my parents:
You did a great job raising me
so I understand your disappointment.

Its no secret that men have a shared vernacular that only other men understand. For my parents:
You did a great job raising me
so I understand your disappointment. Its no secret that men have a shared vernacular that only other men understand.

You know the words were talking about; manly words that cause chest hair to spontaneously sprout, power tools to start up with just a glance, and cases of beer to disappear without a trace. Words that let men be well, men. After all, youre a man and if you want to have a bromance with your wingman, tap out of a board meeting, or walk off an injury so painful that it knocks the wind right out of you, you need to know how to express yourself. And here, in this celebration of all things manly, youll find every ManWord ever uttered. However, as you probably already know, some words are just more masculine than others. To help you know which words will only inspire a fist bump, and which words are worthy of a ticker-tape parade, weve rated each word based on its manliness.

After all, we want you to be all the man you can be. So, whether youre a working stiff, a single guy tossing back shooters on a weeknight, or a married man who bravely faces the weekends with a weed whacker in one hand and an oversized set of grilling utensils in the other, here youll find the words you need to know to keep your testosterone pumping. Enjoy!

(words that mask emotion
which is the feeling a guy gets in his stomach
telling him its time to start drinking) Throughout history men have been notoriously incapable of expressing their feelings. Dont feel bad if this is you. In todays society, were encouraged to be sensitive and wear our emotions on our sleeves. Fortunately, theres an antidote: this chapter on masking emotions.

Youll love itbut dont admit it, or your friends will call you a sissy. ANTISOCIAL(adjective) what women will call a guy who doesnt want to go with her to some lame-ass party. The women from my knitting group are lots of fun! I think the reason you wont go to their party is that youre just ANTISOCIAL.I was lousy in school. Real screwed up. A moron. I was ANTISOCIAL and didnt bother with the other kids.

A really bad student. I didnt have any brains. I didnt know what I was doing there. Thats why I became an actor. ANTHONY HOPKINS APESHIT(adverb) as opposed to losing ones shit, which is more of an implosion, going apeshit is to lose ones fing mind in a more exterior fashion. If the store tries to give me store credit for my return Im going to go APESHIT on the cashier and knock over that display of cheap cologne.ASS CLOWN(noun) there are chefs and top chefs, and there are clowns and ass clownsa grand distinction only earned by a handful of idiots. The class clown grew up to be nothing more than an ASS CLOWN.ASSHOLE(noun) typically a guy who makes more money, has a hotter wife, or is simply better than other men at stuff.

Unlike a douche bag, an asshole can still be respectable. That ASSHOLE has won three Super Bowls, and two supermodels.Thats the miracle of babies, their ability to lay bare the tender, beating hearts of raging ASSHOLES. HEATHER ARMSTRONG (AKA DOOCE), AMERICAN BLOGGER ASSWIPE(noun) an assholes sidekick; someone who cleans up the messes an asshole makes. That ASSWIPE had better stick with his friends, or hell get torn apart.AWESOME(adjective) so great that it inspires awe; best used when describing hamburgers and tits. If you knock on a watermelon and it sounds hollow, you know itll be AWESOME.BAD(adjective) good; best used preceding motherfucker. Oedipus Rex was one BAD motherfucker.BADASS(noun) an alpha male. That guy who can burp the Star-Spangled Banner is a total BADASS.Hey Ripley, dont worry. That guy who can burp the Star-Spangled Banner is a total BADASS.Hey Ripley, dont worry.

Me and my squad of ultimate BADASSES will protect you. ALIENS BADMOUTH(verb) to speak ill of someone or something; its like talking shit, but a bit more formal. The fact that my Match.com date looked nothing like her photo left me no choice but to BADMOUTH her all over my Facebook page.