Graf - I dont get you: a guide to healthy conversations

My eyes are wet and my heart is full. Sherry Graf has transformed my views on purity. Emotional purity, sexual puritythis booklet gave me a major heart check. This is something I will keep on my shelf, and its something I definitely wont be keeping to myself.

ELIZABETH RICHARDS

Student at University of MinnesotaRochester

I Dont Get You is a beautiful, insightful read. Sherry provides not only relatable and relevant examples but also intriguing insights that opened my eyes to the concept of maintaining healthy relationships with the opposite sex. Whether you are single, dating, married, or wanting to live out purity more intentionally in your everyday life, I Dont Get You will give you direction and guidance for pursuing Christlike holiness in your relationships with others.

JEREMY STIMACK

Student at University of MinnesotaTwin Cities

Sherry Graf has put words to the ambiguous, confusing, and invisible cloud of feelings that I have struggled with in my relationships with people of the opposite sex. I needed to recognize my own tendency to emotionally attach in unwarranted situations, and I Dont Get You helped me name this internal conflict. I feel encouraged to pursue holiness with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in ways that I hadnt considered before reading this book.

STEPHANIE KIPNISS

Student at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee

So often we grow up learning about sexual purity, but we neglect a lifelong pursuit of emotional purity in our conversations and relationships with others. Sherry Graf provides not only a biblical perspective on emotional purity but also a practical method to guard your own and others hearts in conversation throughout every season of life. This booklet is a must-read for every man or woman looking to sustain healthy, intentional, and God-honoring relationships with people of the same or opposite sex.

JESSICA WEED

Student at University of ColoradoBoulder

I Dont Get You is an incredibly eye-opening resource about how to navigate both relationships and friendships with wisdom. Many people have heard about the importance of setting physical boundaries in relationships, but emotions are frequently left out of the equation. This booklet is a refreshing and practical take on how to guard your heart and honor the people in your life with diligence.

KELLY MORRELL

Student at Lipscomb University in Tennessee

Emotional purity is a topic that I believe is very important for Christians but rarely is discussed. Sherry Graf uses the Bible to support the ideas underlying emotional purity. She has created a book that both men and women can relate to. It is a great resource for small groups and discipleship groups. This book has inspired me to think differently, which will enhance my relationships with others.

SIFA MOSIORI

Rochester Navigators student president at University of MinnesotaRochester

I plan to share this book with the many college women I mentor and teach. The concept of emotional purity often feels too hard to explain, but Sherrys clear categories of conversation and her description of commitment levels are so helpful. This book has much to apply to my own life as a young married believer and will be important for any and all of my students who are seeking to honor God with their relationships.

MOLLY JENKINS

Mission staff member with The Navigators (Collegiate) at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee

This booklet does a great job of explaining what emotional purity is and how to live it out. I was able to see places I have sometimes unintentionally defrauded my girl friends or myself. And the yellow flagswow! I had been interested in a guy, and those questions made me realize so quickly that we werent at that level of intimacy. Overall, I Dont Get You is a refreshing reminder.

ALY OCONNOR

Navigators Associate Staff at University of WisconsinWhitewater

NavPress is the publishing ministry of The Navigators, an international Christian organization and leader in personal spiritual development. NavPress is committed to helping people grow spiritually and enjoy lives of meaning and hope through personal and group resources that are biblically rooted, culturally relevant, and highly practical.

For a free catalog go to www.NavPress.com.

I Dont Get You: A Guide to Healthy Conversations

Copyright 2016 by Sherry Graf. All rights reserved.

A NavPress resource published in alliance with Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

NAVPRESS and the NAVPRESS logo are registered trademarks of NavPress, The Navigators, Colorado Springs, CO. TYNDALE is a registered trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Absence of in connection with marks of NavPress or other parties does not indicate an absence of registration of those marks.

The Team:

Don Pape, publisher; Caitlyn Carlson, acquiring editor

Cover design by Nicole Grimes

Interior design by Alyssa Force

Cover photograph of note copyright sumire8/Dollar Photo Club. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of can telephone taken by Koko Toyama. Copyright Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version.

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Graf, Sherry, author.

Title: I dont get you : a guide to healthy conversations / Sherry Graf.

Description: Colorado Springs : NavPress, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016003089| ISBN 9781631465680 (individual) | ISBN 9781631464881 (10 pack) | ISBN 9781631465703 (kindle)

Subjects: LCSH: Man-woman relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. | ConversationReligious aspectsChristianity. | Intimacy (Psychology)Religious aspectsChristianity.

Classification: LCC BT705.8 .G73 2016 | DDC 241/.672dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016003089

ISBN 978-1-63146-569-7 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-63146-570-3 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-63146-571-0 (Apple)

Build: 2016-04-12 15:16:14

FOREWORD

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Sexual purity is a concept familiar to most people who will read this booklet, and we think we understand what that means in relationships with those of the opposite sex. But in this booklet Sherry Graf has highlighted another term: emotional purity. As I read this booklet, I realized that emotional purity, as Sherry describes it, is actually more basic than sexual purity and in fact acts as a gatekeeper to help guard sexual purity.