Lair Torrent - The Practice of Love: Break Old Patterns, Rebuild Trust, and Create a Connection That Lasts

Born to a fifteen-year-old mother in abject poverty, Lair Torrent saw few examples of connective, loving, functional relationships. As a young man he began recapitulating those same behaviors of disfunction in his own life. Committed to change, Lair began a lifelong journey of self-exploration and healing, which has culminated in his work as a therapist. Less than an expert, he considers himself a fellow practitioner of the principles he offers, trying to do it a little better tomorrow than he did it today.

Lair is a clinically trained and licensed marriage and family therapist and a mindfulness-based relationship therapist. He attended the Helix Training Program, a rigorous, four-year, multidiscipline training in psycho-spiritual counseling and work in personal transformation based in New York City. His graduate work was conducted at Mercy College under Dr. Evan Imber-Black, world-renowned marriage and family therapist, where his research focused on couples and the work of Susan Johnsons Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Lair is a DailyOM best-selling author and has been a contributing columnist at Inc.com. He writes, speaks publicly, and holds workshops and seminars on relationships and mindfulness, as well as mindfulness and its effects on racism and children. Lair has published articles on his work and has been resourced and interviewed by such notable news outlets and publications as NPR, Rolling Stone, and the New York Times for his expertise in working with struggling relationships.

T o my amazing and beautiful wife, Ashley, who poured over every word, paragraph, and page of this book from start to finish. If not for your love and support and your extraordinary editorial eye, this book would not have happened. Thank you for helping me make a dream come true. Your turn.

Thank you to Hugo Lilienfeld for being there for Ash and me all of these years. You were one of the first to help me believe that this book had possibility. Thanks for your belief.

Suzan Lemakthank you for your kindness, your generosity, your Toughlove, your wisdom, your raised eyebrow, and your laugh. Wherever you are, you are always with us and around us. Thanks for reminding me that Im good.

Julie Winter and Jon Child, thanks for helping to mold me into the clinician I am today. Without you, and Helix, none of this wouldve been possible.

To Ellen Gregory, Elena Hull, and Christina Curtis, thanks for taking a chance on me and making me a part of the Midtown family.

Brian Malloy, you literally put a roof over my head and food and wine in my belly. Without the support of you and Jess, this practice and this book might not have been possible. And thanks for listening to me drone on endlessly about my book, my book, my book like it was the Fields Medal. Only a best friend makes sacrifices like that.

Thanks to everyone at the Nordlyset Literary Agency: Nathan Vogt, Isabelle Bleeker, and especially Jennifer Thompson, who found me in the forgotten and discarded bin. You believed in me and this book when few others did. Thank you for your endless support and tireless efforts.

And finally, thanks to all of you who made life difficult for me from time to time. Intentional or not, you gave me the resiliency and fortitude to push past what I believed was possible and create a life worth living. In your way youve had a hand in this, so thanks for being shittyyou know who you are.

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