Paria Hassouri - Found in Transition: A Mothers Evolution during Her Childs Gender Change

Praise for Found in Transition

In this engrossing and sometimes heart-wrenching account, pediatrician Hassouri describes Avas...transition from male to female with approachable, empathetic language that bridges gaps in understanding about the transition process. The authors unflinching honesty about her initial ignorance regarding trans issues is refreshing, and her unwavering adherence to truth makes the story both compelling and edifying....A moving and relatable story of love and heartache...a unique parenting story that has plenty to say about families in general.

Kirkus Reviews

I really cant imagine a better book not only to help parents going through similar struggles but also, truly, to help us all rethink the expectations we impose on our kids from the day they are born. Paria Hassouri, blind-sided and fearful at first, shows us what it looks like to find acceptance and grace, and how transformative and uplifting that awakening can be if we are open to it.

Hilary Liftin, author of Movie Star by Lizzie Pepper

In this open, honest, and relatable memoir, Paria Hassouri invites the reader on a journey through the initial resistance and eventual embrace of her childs gender transition. Found in Transition speaks to the power of parental love and trusting our children to grow into the people they know themselves to be.

Abigail C. Saguy, UCLA professor of sociology and author of Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are

A beautiful, honest, utterly engaging story of a mothers love. It will inspire your heart and stay with you for a long time.

Tembi Locke,New York Times bestselling author of From Scratch

Found in Transition is a narrative of hope for anyone who has ever navigated identity. Paria Hassouri lays bare her own struggles, ultimately demonstrating the idea of family as a verb, proving that such stories are vital to this cultural moment, and that love indeed endures.

Shawna Kenney, author and writing instructor, UCLA Extension Writers Program

Found in Transition is simply beautiful heart-opening and mind-expanding. Paria Hassouri invites us on her journey from resistance to acceptance of her daughter Avas trans identity, and in doing so reminds us that spiritual growth takes commitment and work, and that to love and accept one another as we are is the greatest gift we can give.

Scott Stabile, author of Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide-Open Heart

A brave, bare, humble, and honest portrayal of a mother coming to understand her childs experience. This much-needed book gives voice to the common journey of bewildered parents trying to do right by their child, especially those supporting adolescents with gender dysphoria disbelief, anxiety, protectiveness, uncertainty, and love, love, love. Found in Transition is also a great resource for medical professionals to help them understand the real experiences of families with transgender teens.

Amy Weimer, MD, medical director, UCLA Gender Health Program

Copyright 2020 by Paria Hassouri

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The material in this book is intended for education. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given or liability taken. Some names have been changed to protect privacy.

Photographs used throughout are courtesy of the author, unless otherwise noted.

Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hassouri, Paria, date, author.

Title: Found in transition : a mothers evolution during her childs gender change / Paria Hassouri, MD.

Description: Novato, California : New World Library, [2020] | Summary: In this autobiographical narrative, an Iranian-American pediatrician and mother of three is blindsided when one of her children comes out as transgender. As the author grapples with her childs transition from male to female, she is forced to reexamine her ideas of parenting, gender, and personal identity.-- Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020022089 (print) | LCCN 2020022090 (ebook) | ISBN 9781608687084 (hardback) | ISBN 9781608687091 (Ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Hassouri, Paria, date | Transgender children. | Parents of sexual minority youth. | Identity (Psychology) | Gender-nonconforming children.

Classification: LCC HQ77.9 .H37 2020 (print) | LCC HQ77.9 (ebook) | DDC 306.874/3092 [B]--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020022089

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020022090

First printing, September 2020
ISBN 978-1-60868-708-4
Ebook ISBN 978-1-60868-709-1
Printed in the United States on 30% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

10987654321

For Ava, who always teaches me much more than I can ever hope to teach her, and every other child brave enough to live their truth.

And for every parent struggling with making the best decisions for their child with the knowledge that they have.

Minds are like parachutes: they only function when open.

THOMAS ROBERT DEWAR

CONTENTS

M om, I left something on my bed for you to iron, my fourteen-year-old says when he sees me come downstairs. The hair on the back of my neck rises, my heart starts galloping in my chest, but I reply with the most casual, nonchalant Okay I can muster.

It is Thanksgiving Day. We are going to leave for my moms in just a couple of hours. I hate ironing. I avoid buying clothes that are difficult to iron, and when my husband occasionally asks me to iron something for him while he jumps in the shower, I get irritated every time. Yet within half an hour of my sons request, I find myself back upstairs and ironing his dress without saying a word, while trying to calm the panicky thoughts in my head. Never in any of my visions of myself as a mother had I imagined a scene like this, yet here I am.