Willard F. Jr. Harley - Draw Close: A Devotional for Couples

2011 by Willard F. Harley, Jr. and Joyce S. Harley

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-3409-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations labeled AMP are from the Amplified Bible, copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations labeled Message are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.

We wish to thank our niece, Kathryn Brown Treick, for her valuable assistance in helping us write this book. With all youve accomplished, including your recent graduate studies and research, were sure well be seeing your name in more books in the future.

And many thanks to Jennifer Leep, editorial director of Revell, for your editorial savvy and many hours of hard work that helped make this book possible. Words cannot say how much we appreciate you and the rest of the dedicated staff at Revell.

W e have written this book to help you achieve two very important goals: to draw you closer to the Lord and to draw you closer to each other. In our own forty-eight years of marriage, these two goals have been the highest priorities of our lives and they have supported each otherthe closer we have been to the Lord the easier it has been to be close to each other, and the closer we have been to each other the easier it has been to be close to the Lord.

Gods purpose for marriage, that two become one, is an analogy of our relationship with him. God wants a husband and wife to be bonded to each other in the same way we are to be bonded with him. He wants an exclusive relationship with us in the same way a marriage is to be exclusive. The commandment to have no other gods before him (Exod. 20:3) is closely related to the commandment not to commit adultery (Exod. 20:14).

God has given us a powerful incentive to fulfill his purpose for marriage: an incredible attraction for each other that we call romantic love. Its a litmus test of a couples care for each other. When they provide to each other the quality of care that God intended in marriage, they experience romantic love throughout life, the way weve experienced it. But when they dont provide that care for each other, they lose that feeling of love.

Each chapter opens with Scripture to be discussed that week. Then there are five short sections that are to be read by both of you together during each of the first five days of the week. There is also a prayer at the end of each chapter you can pray together after you read each section. On the sixth day of each week, we suggest you review the lesson of that week and discuss how you will apply it to your marriage.

The lessons in this book cover just about every challenge couples face in marriage, and they give you solutions that will help you grow in compatibility and mutual care. Each daily segment can be read in about five minutes and is designed to help remind you of the value of your marriage and your relationship with God. But if you have been struggling with the issue introduced by a certain lesson, take more time each day to consider ways to apply the solutions we suggest. You may also find it helpful to extend that particular lesson beyond a single week.

Your marriage is very important to God. He has joined you together so that you will care for each other (Matt. 19:6). If you follow his will for your marriage, it will be romantic, passionate, and very fulfilling for both of you.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth

for your love is more delightful than wine

Take me away with youlet us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Song of Songs 1:2, 4

W hen Matt and Ellie were first married, their friends teased them about their open affection for each other. Behind closed doors, they couldnt get enough of each other. Theirs was a passionate marriage, and they took great pleasure in expressing their love for one another every way they could.

Three children and eight years later, their passion seemed like a dim candle, not a blazing fire. They had stopped dating each other right around the birth of their second child, and now it felt as if every ounce of energy was devoted to work, children, housekeeping, and a myriad of other responsibilities. Ellie usually stumbled off to bed exhausted after a long day with the kids, while Matt caught Sports Center after everyone else was asleep. Sometimes they would laugh about it; they loved their children dearly, but had no idea how much work raising them would turn out to be. They missed the freedom and spontaneity they had in the first year of their marriage before their first child, Jill, arrived. Now it seemed they didnt have the time or energy for the passion that was once an essential part of their relationship.

Day 1

God devoted an entire book of the Bible to poetry describing a passionate marriagethats how important it is to him. He designed marriage to be passionate and fulfilling. If youve only read Song of Songs allegorically in the past, do yourselves a favor: read it with each other in mind. Take a few moments today and flip through the eight chapters of this sensual book. Which verses stand out to you? Any surprises? What are some of the aspects of marriage that are celebrated by the couple in Song of Songs?

The truth is that you can, and should, have a passionate marriage for your entire lifetime together. Weve experienced that passion with each other for forty-eight years nowand its not over yet. Romance is something that should never end in marriage. God intended that you love each other passionately, regardless of the number of children you have or any of the other responsibilities you will face. In this book, well share with you what we have done to keep our marriage passionate and full of romance for all these years. And well show you how youve been created by God to have that kind of marriage too.

Day 2

What is passion? Its the feeling of loveromantic love. When a husband and wife feel an incredible attraction for each other, they have that special feeling. Theyre in love.

To understand where this kind of love comes from, think of your feelings like a banka Love Bank in this case. Each of you has an account in the others Love Bank, and every interaction with each other strengthens or weakens your relationship by making either a deposit or a withdrawal from those accounts. The better you feel during an interaction, the more love units are deposited in your spouses account. The worse you feel, the more are withdrawn.