Todays Groom Magazine - The Groom-to-Bes Handbook: The Ultimate Guide to a Fabulous Ring, a Memorable Proposal, and the Perfect Wedding

Copyright 2015 by Todays Groom Magazine

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Print ISBN: 978-1-63220-352-6

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63220-756-2

Printed in China

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I n putting this book together we would like to recognize the major contributors and writers. Jake Beirbaum, Janis Turk, and Peter van der Hagen have compiled their experiences with that of many experts in order to create this great guide for men considering and entering into marriage. These three writers spent countless hours interviewing experts, married couples, and newly engaged couples to give men the help they need, from buying the engagement ring to walking down the aisle. Thank you to Elizabeth Reisinger who worked with us as a contributing editor to this book.

INTRODUCTION

T his book is dedicated to you, the man. It is all about you and the decisions you will make along your path to marriage. We will cover everything you need to know, including how to be sure she is the one and how to choose the perfect moment to pop the question. Youll find lots of real life proposal stories to inspire you in creating your own unforgettable engagement. Well walk you through the ring buying experience, from what styles and cuts are out there to how much you really have to spend. What you will not find here are shiny pictures of pink bouquets, suggestions for picking out bridesmaid dresses, or tips for finding a gown that flatters your figure. Rest assuredthis is a book by guys, for guys.

Our goal is to make life a little easier for you (at least as far as your engagement goessorry, theres not much we can do about your favorite sports teams losing streak). After reading this book you should feel confident in taking your relationship to the next level. You will have the knowledge necessary to make an informed decision on purchasing an engagement ring. You will know what you need to do and who you need to talk with prior to your engagement. You will be able to plan a classic or elaborate proposal that will wow the woman of your dreams. Finally, you will know what to expect once the ring is on her finger and the wedding planning begins.

Youre welcome for saving you from ever having to look through a flowery bridal magazine for advice or inspiration. We hope you enjoy this book as much as we enjoyed creating it.

PART ONE

SO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

NAVIGATING ENGAGEMENT

ENGAGEMENT 101

Think it through. Proposing to your girlfriend is a major decision. Be sure marriage is what you really want before you commit to it.

Know her thoughts, too. Propose to her when you feel that both of you are ready to take the next step, and you cant go wrong. Use what you know and love about her to create a great proposal.

Know why you want her. Everyone gets married for different reasons. Think about exactly why you want to be married to your girlfriend.

Prepare for change. After you become engaged, your relationship will change. As a fianc, you will have different obligations.

Compromise. Take inventory of what compromises might be needed to ensure a successful relationship and marriage. It may be easier to have an open discussion about these things before you are married.

HOW TO KNOW IF SHES READY

Despite what television sitcoms and the film industry suggest, your girlfriend may not send blatantly obvious clues that reveal when she is ready to marry you. Chances are, shes not going to wave her left hand in your face and demand a ring (if she did, youd probably run). However, this doesnt mean you should be completely in the dark about her feelings. She may make references to common friends getting married, or you may discover a new bridal magazine where your Sports Illustrated used to lay. If she bought you this book, you can be darn sure marriage is on her mind. Subtler clues will come as you evaluate the larger picture of your relationship.

HOW TO TELL IF YOURE READY

It is often said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. A far more telling scenario emerges when you have nowhere else to go for an extended period of time, and your girlfriend is never more than a few rooms away. In these situations, do you feel uncomfortable, or are you content being together? We all have that friend who is great for the first hour, but more than that starts making us think like Jack Nicholson in The Shining . That shouldnt be the case with your girlfriend. If it is, you will need to learn how to communicate with her about whatever it is that drives you crazy when youre together for too long.

The beginning of any new relationship is an adjustment period. You start off with your best foot forward. You wear dressy clothing, take her on dates to classy restaurants, hold doors open for her, and rein in some other less desirable behaviors. As the relationship progresses, you naturally become more comfortable around her and begin to allow your quirks and eccentricities to emerge. Some men become very laissez-faire. Formal wear is swapped for sweatpants and ripped boxers. They still open doors for her, but the doors belong to McDonalds and Blockbuster. While its always important to treat the woman you love like a lady, becoming more comfortable with each other is a positive progression. If your girlfriend can love you when you are at your worst, then she really does love you. Feeling secure enough to be yourself around her will be a determining factor in your future.

Your wife should be one of your best friends, if not your best friend. She may not always care about everything you have to say, but she will want to listen because she cares about you. She loves you because of everything that defines you, from your lifes aspirations to how you clip your toenails. If you feel the same way about her, you may be ready to promise your life to her.