Scott Haltzman - The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity

Rebuilding trust after an affair is not easy and requires a special kind of support and clear guidance. Scott Haltzman can show you the way. Taking the time to read this book will change your life.

John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Scott Haltzman has done it againgiven us a wise, compassionate, and practical guide to the perils and joys of married life. Here he takes on the most shameful and agonizing experience people go through in relationships in a book that helps both the person cheated on and the person who had the affair. Anyone who has gone through this turbulent experience should read it.

William J. Doherty, Ph.D., professor and director, Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project at the University of Minnesota, and author of Take Back Your Marriage

Scott Haltzman gets down to whats needed: the nitty-gritty details of how to define infidelity, how to end it, and how to recover. The book is so good that its also a great how-to-avoid-it manual that all married folks should read long before infidelity is even on the horizon.

Diane Sollee, M.S.W., founder and director, SmartMarriages.com

In this digital age, more and more couples are finding out where their boundaries areonce they have been crossed. Whether its friending an old flame on Facebook, sexting someone on Twitter, or flirting online through Skype, many spouses and partners are blindsided and forced to deal with an emotional, online, or real time affair. Thankfully, The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity is here. Its a step-by-step survival guide to help your relationship deal with, survive, and overcome the pain of infidelity. If there is one last thing youre willing to do to try to save your relationship from an affair, it should be to read this book!

K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky, coauthors of Facebook and Your Marriage

With the infidelity epidemic, every couple needs a survival guide and Scott Haltzman is just the professional to provide it! This common crisis can literally make or break a marriage. Most of those who go on to better relationships do so with expert help. This book is a must for the modern marriage.

Patricia Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth about Love

For anyone who has felt the pain of infidelity, this compassionate and encouraging book is definitely for you. Based on years of clinical experience and research, Scott Haltzmans step-by-step plan will help you recognize, understand, and then take control of your relationship and your life. One thing is clearwhether youve had an affair or are contemplating one, or youve had a partner who strayedthe knowledge youll gain from reading this book is invaluable.

Terri Orbuch Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Finding Love Again: Six Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship

As a pro-marriage therapist who works with couples dealing with affairs on a regular basis, I am so pleased to have Scott Haltzmans book available. Couples going through this situation are overwhelmed, confused, and often feel like they are drowning. He has done a wonderful job of explaining in an easy-to-comprehend way all the different types of affairs as well as tools to deal with them. This volume is a wonderful roadmap to assist couples navigating their way back to trust and connection. Its also a great addition to complement therapists doing this type of work.

Karen H. Sherman, Ph.D., author of Mindfulness and the Art of Choice: Transform Your Life

The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity is a very important contribution to this topic. Scott Haltzman is a respected psychiatrist and marriage therapist who has a practical approach to healing from affairs. His book takes a clear stance about avoiding affairs.

Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages

Anyone who has, or is in the profession of helping those who have, or who just wants to know everything about, affairs will benefit from reading this book, and should read it. It is the most comprehensive book on the topic I have seen. I highly recommend it.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

This isnt just a supremely helpful book on understandingand recovering frominfidelity. Its a great book on marriage. The honest, warm-hearted, and wise insight Scott Haltzman provides here can bring you hope and much morea path forward. This is the book you are looking for right now.

Scott Stanley, Ph.D., author of The Power of Commitment

This book provides a wonderfully comprehensive look at all aspects of affairs, including both sophisticated concepts and down-to-earth practical action steps. It is must reading for anyone who wants to survive affairsor just to improve their marriage.

Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth

Scott Haltzmans excellent book blends clinical and true-to-life descriptions of the who, what and why of infidelity with profound and personal counsel indispensable for healing the wounds of betrayal. The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity is more than a superb bookit will become your own personal, dynamic counselor navigating you through the pain and confusion of infidelity.

John Van Epp, Ph.D., author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity

Scott Haltzman, M.D.

Note to the Reader: The stories in this book are based on the life experience, clinical work, and research of the author. To protect confidentiality, names and identifying characteristics of clients may have been changed or may represent composite identities of clients. This book describes how people cope with infidelity in general. It was not written about you or your partner or spouse. The services of a competent professional should be obtained whenever medical, legal, or other specific advice is needed.

2013 The Johns Hopkins University Press

All rights reserved. Published 2013

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

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The Johns Hopkins University Press

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Baltimore, Maryland 21218-4363

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Library of Congress Cataloguing in Publication Data

Haltzman, Scott, 1960

The secrets of surviving infidelity / Scott Haltzman, M.D.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 13: 978-1-4214-0941-2 (alk. paper)

ISBN 10: 1-4214-0941-0 (alk. paper)

ISBN 13: 978-1-4214-0942-9 (pbk. : alk. paper)

ISBN 10: 1-4214-0942-9 (pbk. : alk. paper)

[etc]

1. Adultery. 2. Marriage counseling. I. Title.

HQ806.H355 2013

306.736dc23 2012036061

A catalog record for this book is available from the British Library.

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For Peggy Vaughan, a giant in the study of infidelity and a huge-hearted friend