Jay Payleitner - The Newlywed Year: 52 Ideas for Building a Love That Lasts

To my Rita Anne.

And to our marriage, which somehow grows stronger every year.

Text copyright 2021 by Jay Payleitner.

Cover art by Susan Lloyd.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Payleitner, Jay K., author.
Title: The newlywed year / Jay Payleitner.
Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, [2021]
Identifiers: LCCN 2020007258 (print) | LCCN 2020007259 (ebook) | ISBN 9781452182568 (hardback) | ISBN 9781452182841 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Newlyweds. | Marriage. | Couples.
Classification: LCC HQ734 .P3174 2021 (print) | LCC HQ734 (ebook) | DDC 306.81dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020007258
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020007259

Design by Rachel Harrell.

excerpted in part from 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands, Jay Payleitner, Harvest House Publishers, 2011, and reprinted with permission.
excerpted in part from 52 Ways to Connect as a Couple, Jay Payleitner, Harvest House Publishers, 2016, and reprinted with permission.
excerpted in part from 52 Things Husbands Need from Their Wives, Jay Payleitner, Harvest House Publishers, 2016, and reprinted with permission.

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Best wishes! Congrats! Blessings! XOXO! And all that.

With your engagement and wedding, youve laid a beautiful foundation of joy, hope, optimism, and breathtaking romance. So where do you go from here?

This book is all about stoking those fires for decades to come. With more passion, deeper friendship, and a stronger commitment than you thought possible.

It doesnt matter how you started your journey. Playground pals. High school sweethearts. College study partners. An office romance. Gym rat workout buddies. Social media soul mates. Old flames reuniting after losing touch for years. Or however you would describe your initial flirtation.

While every couple is different, every newlywed year carries many similarities. Whether youve been dating for six months or six years, youll want to expect the unexpected. Prepare yourself for discoveries that surprise, delight, and amuse you or cause you to think, What have I gotten myself into?

Youre not second-guessing your vows. You just didnt know about your new spouses slightly off-the-wall quirk, curious routines, or unspoken dreams. Thats OK, because everyone brings a few surprises into marriage.

The game plan for the next twelve months is for the two of you to lay a firm foundation for a long, joy-filled, soul-satisfying life together. And, yes, The Newlywed Year just might help you do that.

This book was likely a gift from a very wise person. Sometime near your first anniversary, you will want to send them an extra-appreciative thank-you note.

You see, while all your other family and friends were oohing and ahhing about your engagement, wedding ceremony, reception, and honeymoon, that wise individual was thinking about what you really need. Not an ice bucket, salad spinner, personalized cutting board, cake carrier, juicer, or programmable coffee maker (not that theres anything wrong with that stuff). But, lets be clear. Your most compelling need for the next year wasnt on your wedding registry or in that pile of gifts you recently unwrapped. Your newlywed year is all about both of you turning your focus from the wedding to the marriage.

Thats going to require you to be intentional about making time, engaging in dialogue, keeping promises, and meeting each others deepand sometimes unspokenneeds. Thats what this book is all about.

.

Whether you read this book in a matter of days or spread it out over your entire first year, keep your expectations high. You came together for a reason. Feel free to take the rest of your life to figure it out. Along the way, aspire to have more fun than humans should be allowed to have.

You found each other. Love overflows. Thats fantastic. The world needs more of what you have. Lets keep it flowing. Have a wonderful newlywed year.

Every couple I know that has been married for more than a decade or so begins to look back at their early years together and describes it as a blur.

When couples start to share memories, they discover their mental calendars are organized around major events like births, new jobs, and new homes. But day-to-day events tend to fall between the cracks. That includes names, dates, people, and places. Even weekend adventures, major purchases, and minor disasters slip away from our consciousness.

You may invest a ton of positive or negative emotional energy in an experience and believe you will remember every detail forever, but thats not how it works. Memories of most life events are not completely forgotten, but rather set aside. Later, something may trigger a hazy recollection, but the details are jumbled with other similar events.

If only youd kept a diary.

Well, here at the beginning of your newlywed year, lets call that your first assignment. I can hear you: What? Homework already? But dont worry. Youre not expected to write long, tear-filled paragraphs recalling every emotion, conversation, or menu item you experience today. Instead, focus on the short, sweet, silly, and/or significant.