Melanie Chitwood - What a Husband Needs from His Wife: *Physically*Emotionally*Spiritually

Melanie Chitwood

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Verses marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Verses marked AMP are taken from The Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Backcover author photo Judi Galusha

Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon

Cover photo Blend Images Photography/Veer

This book includes stories in which the author has changed some peoples names and some details of their situations to protect their privacy.

WHAT A HUSBAND NEEDS FROM HIS WIFE
Copyright 2006 by Melanie Chitwood
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Chitwood, Melanie, 1963-

What a husband needs from his wife / Melanie Chitwood.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-1830-5 (pbk.)

ISBN-10: 0-7369-1830-2 (pbk.)

Product # 6918305

1. WivesReligious life. 2. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4528.15.C45 2006

248.8'435dc22

2006001342

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 / BP-CF / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To my husband, Scott. You are my greatest treasure.

To my sons, Zachary and Tyler. You are the greatest evidence in my life of Gods love for me.

To my parents, for nurturing an early love of the written word and for lovingly supporting me through the years.

To my dear friends Amy, Catherine, Holly, Karen, and Kelly. Thank you for listening to me, praying for me, and laughing with me.

To Scott, Natalie, and Donna, for your friendship and love.

To the many men and women who shared their hearts and stories in this book.

To Proverbs 31 Ministries, and especially to Lysa, Glynnis, Renee, and Marybeth, for your example and support.

To my church home, Southbrook Community Church, for helping me to mature in the Lord.

To Harvest House Publishers, for making my dream come true.

O taste and see that the L ORD is good!

Psalm 34:8

When you first read the title of this book, What a Husband Needs from His Wife, what came to your mind? I asked several women what they thought, and I received a variety of answers:

I have no idea.

I know what he thinks he needs: sex, sex, sex!

Ive been trying to figure that out for a long time.

Ill tell you exactly what my husband needsa book on what a wife needs!

I can understand and relate to all these responses, for I spent many years with little understanding of Gods plan for me as a wife. How could that have happened? I wondered. Ive been a Christian for a long time and married much of that time.

I sadly realized that Id spent years trying to figure out marriage on my own strength and doing marriage my own way. In fact, Id spent a whole lot of years telling my husband what he needed to do instead of focusing on what I needed to do. I remember hearing a man half-jokingly say something I could unfortunately relate to: I didnt know what I thought till I got married and my wife told me!

When I surrendered my marriage to God, He began a work of transformation in me and in my marriage. My marriage is now closer to what I want it to be and what most women long forits filled with peace, friendship, unity, intimacy, and joy. Like you, I am a work in progress, so with you I am still learning and growing in my marriage. I hope that as I share the journey of my marriage and the stories of other women, you will be encouraged to believe that you and your marriage can change too.

I believe what a husband needs from his wife is not a woman who just keeps trying harder to figure out marriage. Instead, a husband needs a woman who loves God, abides in Christ, and follows Him all the days of her life. This book does not reveal ten easy steps to become the wife your husband needs. Instead, it is about having an ongoing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God is the one who will change you and your marriage. He wants you to put your faith in Him, not in a self-improvement plan.

I hope youll join me as you read the pages of this book with an open heart, an open mind, and a readiness to apply Gods ways to your marriage. After reading about a specific biblical principle, ask God to show you how to live out that principle in your relationship with your husband. Gods truths never change, but their applications to our marriages may vary.

I encourage you to look up every Scripture passage, both in the chapters and the study guide. Every word in the Bible is a word from God, and His Word is our instruction manual in marriage. Test the words Ive written to make sure they line up with Gods truth, for He is the One who can hold your marriage together and give you the kind of marriage you long for.

While I was in an airport recently, I noticed a couple who were probably in their seventies, and they were obviously running late for their plane, feeling anxious and pressured to make it to their gate on time. They had mounds of luggage slowing them down, and the wife seemed to think theyd gain some time if she screeched at her husband. Bill! Cant you see I cant carry all this? You need to get back here and get some of this luggage from me! He forged on, weighed down by four bags of his own. She continued screeching at the top of her lungs all the way through security and then to the gate, which thankfully was a different one from mine. This was certainly not her finest moment. But then sadly, I thought, this was probably a typical moment for her.

I noticed another older couple at the airport that day, probably in their eighties. They stood out because of their complete contrast to the first couple. The husband was seated in a chair at our gate, and his wife was in a wheelchair. She obviously could not hear well, for each time her husband spoke to her, he slowly got up from his own seat and whispered into her ear. He gently touched her, looked into her eyes, and patiently waited for her response. Often her response was simply a sweet smile lighting up her face. Satisfied with that, he would sit down until the next time she needed him. I smiled inside, noticing how patient and tender they were with each other. I couldnt help but think,