Frisbie David - Becoming Your Husbands Best Friend

Lisa & David Frisbie

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Scripture quotations are from the Good News TranslationSecond Edition 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc.

Cover photo2010 Steve Sant and World of Stock

This book contains stories in which the author has changed peoples names and some details of their situations in order to protect their privacy.

BECOMING YOUR HUSBANDS BEST FRIEND

Copyright 2010 by Lisa and David Frisbie

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Frisbie, Lisa

Becoming your husbands best friend / Lisa and David Frisbie.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-7369-2921-9 (pbk.)

1. WivesReligious life. 2. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Frisbie, David II. Title.

BV4528.15.F75 2010

248.844dc22

2010021738

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 / LB-SK / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is dedicated to four of the many couples who have shown us what grace, intimacy, togetherness, and partnership are all about. They have lived marriage well.

Our pastor, Dr. Paul Cunningham, taught us about marriage as we began our life together. Our lives are permanently altered because our journey intersected with his. His wife, Dr. Connie Cunningham, taught our early-married Sunday school class. Much of the wisdom in the pages of our books can be traced to Connies witty, insightful teaching.

Our close friends Arthur and Mattie Uphaus were tremendous examples for us. Mattie modeled for us the gracious spirit and loving heart of a transformational wife. In almost three decades of knowing Mattie we never heard her utter one negative word, make one critical comment (even in jest), or say any unpleasant thing about her husband. Mattie showed us the power of positive living. Both she and Arthur are now in heaven.

Much of what we know about healthy and godly marriage, both of us learned at home. We each knew that our parents loved God, loved each other, and loved us. Divorce was commonplace among our peers, but we knew that it was not even remotely a possibility for our parents. Through difficulty and stress, in good times and bad, our parents demonstrated the meaning of commitment.

Lee and Marilyn Frisbie, married 58 years at this writing, have taught us many lessons about life and ministry. They have modeled a loving, caring, God-honoring marriage relationship in genuine and helpful ways. They have supported their pastors, led youth ministry across several generations, and ministered to missionaries, seminary students, and others, sharing from lives of faithful integrity.

Lamont and Ruth Jacobson, Lisas parents, have shown us what a committed Christian couple looks like up close. They are young at heart and fully engaged in living. We recently helped them celebrate their sixtieth anniversary, which was held in a church they still serve. Ruth is the worship leader in her church, active as ever. Mom and Dad Jacobson love God, love each other, and love us. We admire their energy and enthusiasm!

These are four of the many couples whose inspiring marriages challenged us to follow their wise examples. Although they could and did guide us with their words and their teaching, we learned the most by watching them do life together. To this day we reflect on, learn from, and strive to follow the powerful examples of these four couples. As we celebrate 32 years together, we owe a great debt of gratitude to each of them.

As we work to make marriages healthier and stronger, to help couples succeed and thrive, and to help families stay together and be healthy, we are paying it forward because we have received so much from others.

To Paul, Connie, Arthur, Mattie, Lee, Marilyn, Lamont, and Ruth, thank you for walking the walk while you were talking the talk. Were a little bit behind you on this journey of life, but were following in your footsteps with joy and gladness.

We wrote this book as we traveled the world, carrying out our God-given ministry of speaking, teaching, training, and counseling. Because of the complexity of our travel schedule, several of these chapters were written in locations as culturally diverse as Balchik and Broken Arrow, as geographically separated as Oahu and Orlando. Portions of this book were written on three different continents and in many different cities, towns, and villages.

From beginning to end, we were aided by family and friends, hosts and guides, an eclectic mix of spiritually minded persons who served as midwives in the birth of this book. To acknowledge each person who contributed to these pages would be impossible, but here is a partial list of hosts and helpers, with our sincere gratitude.

Mark and Emily Schoenhals allowed us to use their peaceful condo in Minnesota for an extended period of research and writing while they volunteered as missionaries in Costa Rica. David Fell and his crew at Stonewood Tea in Oklahoma kept us comforted with green tea and soy lattes while we spent many hours typing sentences and fixing paragraphs. Back home in Southern California, George and the morning crew at our favorite Chick-fil-A kept us fueled for long days of writing and editing.

Our thanks to Mike and Nellie Martin for your warmth and hospitality. We so enjoy your gracious home and deeply love each member of your family. We are grateful also to Sydney Briley and her daughter Lauren. Your fireplace and candles set a perfect mood for writing and creating. Stephen and Kathie Smith, whose effective parenting we have praised in our previous books, welcomed us in rural Kansas. Bright and creative, Russ Hose sent us help and inspiration from his home in the majestic, snowy mountains of Idaho.

Lifelong friends Barry and Pam Stranz accompanied us through the deep forests of Wisconsin and the sparkling clear lakes of Minnesota while we gathered our thoughts and organized the structure of the manuscript. Good friends and mentors Brett and Mindy Rickey hosted and welcomed us in Bartow, Florida. Brett is an energetic leader and accomplished author who is working on his third book. Nearby, we were blessed by the directors and residents of the Florida Holiness Campground in Lakeland.

Rick and Vicki Power hosted us in Honolulu. Whether serving in Beijing or Texas, Kansas or Hawaii, Rick and Vicki have embraced, affirmed, and brightened our journey as authors.

Jay and Teanna Sunberg hosted us repeatedly in Sofia, Bulgaria. The lovely mountain views from their backyard and the refreshing laughter of their children are imprinted permanently in our memories. Jay and Teanna, your home is one of our favorite places on this planet.

Each of these adults and children, couples and families, contributed to the composition of this book. As writers weve learned to work anywhere, under almost any conditions, yet we highly value settings where stress is low, hospitality flows freely, and creativity flourishes. Our thanks to these friends and others for granting us places like these!