Crissy Rock - This Heart Within Me Burns--From Bedlam to Benidorm (Revised & Updated)

T o my five beautiful granddaughters, you have given me the greatest joy my heart could ever have, and you have all inspired me in every word on every page. I love you lots, my jelly tots.

Thank you to my two daughters, Tracy and Hayley. There were many times I got it wrong as a mother, but never once did I ever stop loving you. I tried my best to protect you from the sort of life Id experienced. At times I became overprotective. I love you both and I am so proud of you both.

Thanks go out to my four brothers, for always being there for me and allowing me to tell the stories in this book, stories that are so personal and so very, very special.

To my stepmum Linda, thank you for the years of love you gave our dad, me and my brothers, and for still being around to this day whenever we need you.

To Gill and Tony Gustafson who helped me along the road to becoming Crissy Rock. Without your support and love I dont think I would have ever made it. And of course to Kenneth Earle, my agent the first man who treated me like a lady and to Lyn and Tom Staunton who found me right at the beginning.

To John. The only time I ever feel like I belong to someone is when I am with you. Thank you for making me feel so special, so loved, so wanted and for never letting me give up. I love you more than you could ever know.

To big Dee and Margaret Anderson, my beautiful Belfast friends, my surrogate parents who always cheer me up no end whenever I see you both.

To Gerry and Deemo Povey. Gerry, you are my hero, my domestic goddess and my friend. Your kindness and friendship throughout the years has been a blessing; and, Deemo, never change your answering-machine message; it makes me laugh so much. Not forgetting Carol Spence and family who took me in and treated me like one of their own.

And last but by no means least, to Margie Jones. What can I say, Margie, thank you for our friendship over the last 28 years. Margie, weve laughed and cried together, youve been the big sister I never had and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I truly love you to bits. x MIZPAH The Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent one from another.

Oh my God, and I nearly forgot, theres some fellow called Ken Scott. He came to meet me outside the UK Bar in Benidorm and said he was interested in seeing my scribbles and ramblings that he had heard someone talking about. I said to him, You cheeky get, thats my life youre talking about! Ken and me hit it off straight away. The fact we were as cheeky as each other made us get on like a house on fire.

I had been trying for years to get a book together but something always felt missing; it was never going to happen. The lack of education and knowledge of the written word held me back, and I knew that my spelling left a lot to be desired. So we got together and he held my hand along the way; he taught me that grammar was not just something for school and, yes, at times, he damn well bullied me. But, more than that, he persuaded me to talk about things I hadnt wanted to talk about. And slowly, as it began to take shape, I could see that it all made perfect sense.

Ken has had me laughing and crying and helped me make sense of the pages and pages of my words that eventually became this book. Without his expertise as a writer, his gentle powers of persuasion and the ability to discipline his subject, they would have stayed stuck in the drawer of my bedside cabinet forever. He helped me open up the words on each page like a picture, giving it depth, a vision meaning. And now its eventually all come together, it seems strange flicking through the pages of a story that has been my own life. So Mr Ken Scott Scotty, from the bottom of my heart, I cant thank you enough for your patience and understanding, and your skill in helping me to become a writer.

Thanks also to Kens editor (and mine too) Carol Cole my first experience with a schoolteacher since I left school, and may I say what a pleasant experience it was. A true professional, Carol thanks a million.

And finally to Derren Litten and all the cast and crew in Benidorm who put me back on my feet again.