Jason Hazeley - The Ladybird Book of the Shed

THE LADYBIRD BOOKS FOR GROWN-UPS SERIES

THE SHED

by

J. A. Hazeley, N.S.F.W. and J. P. Morris, O.M.G.

(Authors of Teach Your Dog Darts)

Publishers: Ladybird Books Ltd, Loughborough
Printed in England. If wet, Italy.

UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa

Michael Joseph is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

First published 2015

Copyright Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris, 2015
All images copyright Ladybird Books Ltd, 2015

The moral right of the authors has been asserted

ISBN: 978-1-405-92575-4

The authors would like to thank the illustrators whose work they have so mercilessly ribbed, and whose glorious craftsmanship was the set-dressing of their childhoods. The inspiration they sparked has never faded.

This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books that have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.

As in the other books in this series, the large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. The subject of the book will greatly appeal to grown-ups.

The shed is the mans natural hiding-place. It is just like the pub, except nearer to home.

In a minute, Les will throw his children out of his shed and get on with some proper work.

Then, when the coast is clear, he will go to the pub.

Some animals have evolved to carry their shed with them.

This tortoise will withdraw into its shed if threatened by a predator with a request to help peel the potatoes.

In the winter, tortoises conserve energy by spending extended periods in their shed, fast asleep.

Just like humans.

Michael and Gwen are looking for the placemats Gwens mother bought them for Christmas.

Quick, says Gwen. She will be here in twenty minutes!

I bet we hid them in here, says Michael, closing himself inside the quiet shed.

Michael says he will not give up looking for the mats in the shed, even if it takes him all day.

Men have built sheds in the most inhospitable environments on the planet.

These men have built their shed near the South Pole.

If anyone wants the men to come back in and run the Hoover round the front room, they have to give six months notice.

This Antarctic shed is a great place to get things done.

Using your shed as an office is called shedworking.

Bunny works from his shed. He is a freelance cow-whisperer.

At least, thats what he tells his wife. Bunny is unemployed.

A shed is the perfect place to store things that are not quite useful enough to be in your house, but almost useful enough not to be in your bin.

Some of the things in your shed may even turn into heirlooms for your children.

Who knows in the future there might be a National Museum of Old Phone Chargers. They will pay handsomely for your collection.

Here in Canada, Cliff has built a shed with its own moat.

Cliffs friends use the logs when they come to help with his 00-gauge railway layout. They sometimes bring sandwiches from his wife.

Cliffs wife thinks all marriages should have a moat.

A man needs a private place to do things with his hands.

What would you do with your hands, if you were alone in a shed?

Wallace has taught himself taxidermy. There are so many dead animals full of sawdust in his shed that the door will not shut.

Wallace needs a new shed.

The sheds of the Pharaoh Amenhotep were amongst the most spectacular structures in the Ancient World.

This mighty Pharaoh was buried in 1521 BC in his shed at Kom al-Ahmar, alongside everything he would need in the afterlife: a bundle of rusty sickles, a woven rush box of back issues of Nile Life , half a chariot axle assembly and a sacred tin of magnolia satin paint.

A shed is a good place to fix, build and make things.

Omar has made himself a special wooden friend.

Omars wife cried when she found the plans for this in his shed.

You wont cry, will you? says Omar, staring into his friends painted eyes.

Warren has spent the weekend in his shed. He said he was sanding down some drawers to make them run more smoothly.

Warrens robot has been made from old lawnmower parts. It can walk, talk and hold the door shut.