OFarrell - An utterly exasperated history of modern Britain, or, 60 years of making the same stupid mistakes as always
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Following his hugely popular account of the previous 2000 years, John OFarrell now comes bang up to date with a hilarious modern history asking How the hell did we end up here? An Utterly Exasperated History of Modern Britain informs, elucidates and laughs at all the bizarre events, ridiculous characters and stupid decisions that have shaped Britains story since 1945; leaving the Twenty-First Century reader feeling fantastically smug for having the benefit of hindsight.
OFarrell: author's other books
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EXASPERATED
HISTORY OF
MODERN BRITAIN
Same Stupid Mistakes as Always
BLACK SWAN
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Version 1.0
Epub ISBN 9781409091066
www.randomhouse.co.uk
TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
61-63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA
A Random House Group Company
www.rbooks.co.uk
AN UTTERLY EXASPERATED HISTORY OF MODERN BRITAIN
A BLACK SWAN BOOK: 9780552775465
First published in Great Britain
in 2009 by Doubleday
an imprint of Transworld Publishers
Black Swan edition published 2010
Copyright John OFarrell 2009
John OFarrell has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk
The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009
The Random House Group Limited supports The Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest certification organisation. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace approved FSC certified paper carry the FSC logo. Our paper procurement policy can be found at
www.rbooks.co.uk/environment
Typeset in 11/15pt Giovanni Book by Falcon Oast Graphic Art Ltd.
Printed in the UK by CPI Cox & Wyman, Reading, RG1 8EX.
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
John OFarrell spent over forty years studying much of the period covered in this book by watching television. Apart from that, he has published another history book, An Utterly Impartial History of Britain, three novels, a memoir and three collections of his popular Guardian column. A former comedy scriptwriter for such shows as Spitting Image and Alas Smith and Jones, he is the founder of the satirical website NewsBiscuit and can occasionally be spotted on such TV programmes as Grumpy Old Men, Newsnight Review and Have I Got News For You.
www.rbooks.co.uk
Also by John OFarrell
Non-Fiction
Things Can Only Get Better
Global Village Idiot
I Blame the Scapegoats
I Have a Bream
An Utterly Impartial History of Britain
Isle of Wight to get Ceefax (editor)
Fiction
The Best a Man Can Get
This Is Your Life
May Contain Nuts
(and some mediocre ones to pad it out a bit)
May | Second World War ends. Germany un-consoled by Britain saying Oh well, its not the winning; its the taking part that counts. |
August | Nuclear bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki for a stunt on Top Gear. |
1946 | Nazi war criminals executed at Nuremberg. Lone woman pen pal from Droitwich advised against romantic death-row marriage. |
1947 | Patriotic fervour grips Britain as Princess Elizabeth marries Prince Philip. Couple asked not to do their marriage vows in German. |
July | Launch of National Health Service by Nye Bevan is delayed. Doctors receptionist wouldnt give him a date. |
Dec | BBC review of the decade features second rate comics saying And do you remember the firebombing of Dresden? What was that all about? |
1950 | Korean War breaks out. Britain and United States determined to prevent South Korea and Japan from going communist, so that they could develop free market economies and wipe out their car industries a few decades later. |
1951 | Tories return to power. Decide to keep heavy industries nationalised but will just talk down to them a bit more. |
1952 | George VI dies at the age of 56. Doctors conclude it was because he didnt smoke enough. |
1953 | Elizabeth II crowned Queen and does waving from passing carriage act. Excited critics say this could run and run |
1956 | Suez Crisis sees Great Britain humiliated after going against wishes of United States government. British government promises never to do it ever again. |
1959 | Harold Macmillan says Youve never had it so good! John Profumo blushes. |
1963 | Beatles have first number one with Please Please Me. Lennon refuses to consider McCartneys The Frog Chorus as possible follow-up. |
1964 | Labour wins election. Promised white hot heat of technological revolution is cancelled; replacement bus service now in operation. |
1966 | England defeat West Germany in World Cup final after extra time as elaborate ruse to distract German guards while POWs tunnel out of Stalag Luft III. |
1967 | Summer of Love followed by Autumn of Throwing Up Every Morning. |
1971 | Decimal coinage introduced in order to annoy old people. |
1972 | British car strikes reduce production of Austin Allegros and Morris Marinas. Rest of world copes. |
1973 | Britain joins European Economic Community. Discovers that foreigners dont understand English if you just shout it at them. |
1974 | Oil crisis and miners strike reduces Britain to a three-day week as power cuts, rampant inflation, IRA bombs and soccer violence confirm national decline. Government announces Womble cull to cheer everyone up. |
1977 | Silver Jubilee sees Royal Family vying for attention with punk rockers. Their foul language, drunken behaviour and Nazi armbands shock the Sex Pistols. |
1979 | Mrs Thatcher becomes first woman PM. Shots heard as her car approaches Westminster. She is asked to hand the gun over and close the window. |
1981 | Prince Charles marries Lady Diana Spencer after extensive search for suitable bride who wont cause any embarrassment. |
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