Eldredge John - Love and war: finding the marriage youve dreamed of

D early Beloved, we have gathered here today in the presence of God to witness the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee.

And so the ceremony begins.

It is a ritual ancient as time and young as the hearts of the man and woman standing before us. (These brides and grooms look younger every year.) John is officiating. The bride and groom are dear friends. They are in love. We, their family and friends, are here to support them, celebrate them, all dressed up in our Sunday best. The church is glowing with candlelight; the flowers are so lovely. The groom looks terrified but happy; the bride is nervous and radiant. Suddenly I wonder, Did I sit on the proper side? Was it brides side on the left, grooms side on the right? Or the other way around? The bridesmaids are stunning. Oh dear. They wont be wearing those dresses ever again!

John continues, The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy.

He looks so handsome in a suit and tie. I remember how he looked on our wedding day in that fabulous black tux with tails. I hope he asks me to dance at the reception.

Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.

The liturgy begins to settle us in. The church quiets, the coughing subsides, people are paying attention.

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

No matter how many weddings I attend, there is something inexplicably stirring about all thisthe ceremony, the making of vows, the great cloud of witnesses, something about this remarkable act feelshow does one describe it? Mythic.

Daniel and Megan, you are about to abandon yourselves to each other, throw caution to the wind, forsake in dependence, isolation, and all others. You will vow to each other your undying love. Before you do, we must call this what it isthis is perfect madness.

That got the crowds attention.

As an aspiration, how lovely. As a reality, how rare. Everyone wants love; everyone is looking for love. Few seem to find what they are looking for; fewer still seem able to sustain it. Why in heavens name would you come to church to publicly dedicate yourselves to something so risky, so fraught with danger, so scandalous? The heart has its reasons, Pascal confessed, that reason knows not of. Deep in the wellspring of our hearts there is a desirefor intimacy, beauty, and adventure. And no matter what anyone might say, we look for it all the days of our lives.

Friends, I know what you are thinking. As you watch this today, there is something in your heart that says, Well, maybe. Maybe this time. Maybe this couple. But what if, what if Daniel and Megan, in all their frail humanity, are living out before us right now a picture, a metaphor of something far more real and substantial. Id like to suggest that this is no common passion play. Things are never what they seem. If you would see things clearly you must see with the eyes of the heart. That is the secret of every fairy tale, because it is the secret to the Gospel, because it is the secret to life.

Scripture tells us that we might at any time entertain an angel simply by welcoming a stranger. The serpent in the garden is really the Prince of Darkness. The carpenter from Nazareththere is more to him than meets the eye as well. Things are not what they seem, and so if we would understand our livesand especially our marriageswe must listen again to the Gospel and the fairy tales based upon it. There are larger events unfolding around us, events of enormous consequence. A lamp is lit and love is lost. A box is opened and evil swarms into the world. An apple is taken and mankind is plunged into darkness. Moments of immense consequence are taking place all around us. Especially this.

Dearly Beloved, you see before you a man and a woman. But there is more here than meets the eye. God gave to us this passion play to reenact, right here and now, the story of the ages. This is the story of mankind, the one story we have been telling ourselves over and over again, in every great myth and legend and poem and song. It is a love story, set in the midst of desperate times, set in the midst of war. It is a story of a shared quest. It is a story of romance. Daniel and Megan are playing out before you now the deepest and most mythic reality in the world. This is the story of Gods romance with mankind.

Im curious what the audience is thinking. When John speaks of love and marriage as deeper than fairy tale, what does our heart say in reply? I know the young women listening just said in their hearts, Oh I hope that is true! I long for that to be true! The young men are wondering, If that is true, what is this going to require of me? The older women filter this through the years of our actual marital experience; they are thinking, Hmmm. (It is a mixture of Yes, I once longed for that, and, Perhaps it will come true for her; I wonder if it still might come true for me.) And the older men sitting here now are simply thinking, I wonder if the reception will have an open bar.

You dont believe me, John says. But thats because we dont understand fairy tales and we dont understand the Gospel which they are trying to remind us of. They are stories of danger; they are stories where evil is very, very real. They are stories which require immense courage and sacrifice. A boy and a girl thrown together in some desperate journey. If we believed it, if we actually saw what was taking place right here, right now, we would cross ourselves. We would say desperate prayers, earnest prayers. We would salute them both and we would hold our breath for what happens next. Daniel and Megan, it is time to make your vows. After this, there is no turning back.