Harris - The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

the confidence gap

Dr Russ Harris is a world expert on ACT, a new mindfulness-based approach to psychological change that is rapidly sweeping this country. In the last four years, Russ has trained over 8000 coaches, counsellors and psychologists in this model, which enables people to reduce stress, overcome fear and find fulfilment. He has written four books, including the hugely successful self-help title The Happiness Trap (2007), now published in 20 countries and 15 languages. A popular speaker, Russ runs ACT training all over Australia and internationally, and this year he is launching ACT workshops for the general public.

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR THE CONFIDENCE GAP

In the most beautiful, simple and accessible way Russ Harris opens your eyes to the potential you have within you and allows you to unlock it and embrace it.

ANNA-LOUISEBOUVIER , executive director, Physiocise and author of The Feel Good Body

So simple, so human. Russs ideas change lives. Ive seen it happen. His is a gentle guiding hand to help you create the life you want.

JENNIFERCUMMINS , TV producer and creator of Making Australia Happy

Russ Harris takes the reader on a series of personal journeys graphically showing how to gain real confidence and to play the confidence game skilfully and authentically.

ANTHONYMGRANT , director, Coaching Psychology Unit, University of Sydney and author of Coach Yourself @ Work

Russ Harris writes clearly written, provocative, scientifically grounded books with touches of wit and playfulness. This is one of those rare books that can make a real difference in peoples lives.

DRTODDBKASHDAN , professor of psychology at George Mason University and author of Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life

The Confidence Gap shows you how to deal effectively with the thousands of unhelpful thoughts that invade our minds every single day, and how to move forward rather than getting bogged down by them.

JUSTINLANGER , former batsman for the Australian cricket team, author of Seeing the Sunrise

Russ Harris has created a book you will wish you had read years ago. So much practical wisdom about confidence and its effect on everything we do. Russs genius is his ability to shatter the myths that hold us back in life, and pave the way to a solution.

PADDYSPRUCE , CSP , professional speaker and founding member of the National Speakers Association in Victoria

FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM

DR RUSS HARRIS

PORTFOLIO

an imprint of

PENGUIN BOOKS

To Yulanie and Bruce

Thank you both so much for all your love, support and encouragement; for gently showing me the way when I wandered off; for being there when I needed you; and for bringing so much warmth and light into my life.

FOREWORD BY STEVEN HAYES

It is hard to be a human being. We are perhaps more challenged than any other creature on the planet.

Thats ridiculous, comes the retort. Look around you. In the developed world, at least, we have everything we need: food, water, safety, warmth, shelter, social stimulation. That is true, but it only makes the human condition all the more poignant. How can it be that the same creatures who have everything, relatively speaking, also worry about the future, ruminate over past failures, or feel crushed by their fears and self-doubts?

The answer is rather surprising. The exact same abilities that lead to our successes lead to our struggles.

The human mind is a problem-solving organ. It detects dangers, analyses situations, predicts outcomes and suggests actions. In the world outside our skins, that works wonderfully well. But when those same logical abilities are turned within, a human life becomes a problem to be solved rather than a process to be experienced. A trap opens up. Life gets put on hold while we fight a war within.

There is a simple reason for this. The world within is not logical, its psychological.

The rules of human growth and experience are almost the exact opposite of those in the external world. When there is a smelly piece of food lying on the floor, throwing it out into the garbage works perfectly well. That exact same action is horribly ineffective when applied to our deepest fears.

If you at this moment are caught in an intense struggle with self-confidence you are profoundly lucky. Profoundly. Life has dealt you a winning hand. Let me explain.

Most people dealing with confidence issues are living life like a person with their foot caught in a heavy animal trap. Most will think the problem is with them, not the trap they happened to step into. They will hobble down the street in pain, slowed down by the trap.

Maybe that is rather like where you are right now. So why are you lucky? Well, for one thing, you know your foot is ensnared. Many who are caught in this trap do not. They just slog on, trying to ignore the pain.

You are also lucky because you have in your hands a scientifically proven method of springing the trap. Many others will desperately try out the usual hokum that modern science now knows will almost certainly not set them free.

And you are lucky because if you learn how to deal with confidence problems, you will be far, far better prepared to cope with other problems that work the same way if (or more realistically, when!) they grab you. Your suffering was the price of admission, but it has already been paid. Enough is enough. Now it is time for the challenging fun of learning and transformation.

It is going to be a heck of a lot more joyful to move ahead in life without dragging those heavy, hurtful traps around with you wherever you go.

Fortunately, the book you are holding is going to help you see precisely where the gap lies between a lack of self-confidence and doing things that will work. And if you give this book a chance you are likely to find a psychologically workable way forward.

That last statement is not a guarantee it is a prediction. Russ does not talk very much about the science underlying this work, but it is voluminous and growing. The basic science of mind you see in these pages covers at least 150 studies, and is indirectly supported by hundreds more. They all show that most people who read these books improve significantly, provided that they read them carefully and practise their methods.

In this brilliant book, he shows us exactly how the gap forms and teaches us the rules for human growth and transformation. Russ is perhaps the clearest writer in the Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) universe, and one of the most gifted clinicians and talented trainers. He has an amazing ability to make the complex seem simple. And he has done it yet again in this volume. Ive been working on ACT for thirty years and Im sitting here and Im feeling deeply moved, energised and schooled. Russ has opened my eyes. Again.

If you could be released from your struggle with self-confidence, wouldnt you consider yourself lucky? If you could learn something profound that would be of use to you in the rest of your life wouldnt you thank the fates that gave you the keys to that more liberated path?

On the other side of your struggle, you may come to see the words I began this with differently: It is hard to be a human being. It is not hard because we have few resources, or because horrific things happen to us, even though sadly that occurs. It is hard for us all because it is tricky to have our logical minds the source of our greatest strength and achievement so seductively invite us into a trap.