Scherbenkse - Deepening Your Marriage: Applying Marriage to the Truths of I Corinthians 13

Deepening Your Marriage

Applying Marriage to the Truths of I Corinthians 13

Jilene Scherbenske

Copyright 2017 Jilene Scherbenske.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-8838-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8839-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8837-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017908063

WestBow Press rev. date: 5/25/2017

Contents

Appendix

This book is written to all married women. It is a help for those marriages that are in trouble, but it is also a source of refreshment to those who have good marriages. As with any area of our lives where we are seeking to be more Christlike, we will never totally arrive until we reach heaven. Therefore, I believe good marriages need constant attention. As wives, we should be always seeking for ways in which we can enrich our relationship with our husbands.

God tells us in Titus 2:4 that we are to love our husbands. I find no better pattern for how to do that than is laid out in 1 Corinthians 13. It is such a familiar chapter, one of the hallmarks of the Bible, but putting it into practice is perhaps much less familiar to us. Each chapter begins with a general teaching on that portion of scripture and then relates it to marriage. Since 1 Corinthians 13 is a description of Jesus, a third section presents the example of Christ in that attribute. Each chapter ends with suggestions for how to apply the truth presented to ones marriage.

My heart aches when women talk about their relationship with their husbands, for I seldom hear cheerful comments. This world and all of its deception has made us focus on one thingour selves, which results in a very unhealthy relationship in the marriage. Todays philosophies have taught us that if things dont come easy, just give up, and thus we have the divorce rate that we have today. Seldom do I hear of a woman who is looking forward to her husband being around once he retires! Marriage is often the subject of negative jokes. Something is wrong with this picture! In Gods eyes, marriage is a sacred covenant meant to be taken very seriously. In the Old Testament, God commanded that a man remain home for an entire year after he was married so he could get to know his wife. So serious is this covenant to God that He desires that it never be broken.

I did not write this study to be published at first. It was simply meeting a need I saw in a group of neighbor women who had been won to the Lord. After studying the gospel of John, I saw a need to teach these new converts how to love their husbands. This book is the outcome of that study. Later, as I began to teach women in our church, I used this study and was told that it greatly enriched the marriages of those who had even been married for several years. It was their encouragement that made me consider publishing.

Using 1 Corinthians 13 as a guide for ones marriage relationship is a real eye-opener. For the newly married, it becomes a rich counsel to follow; for the older woman, it becomes a measuring tool that reveals areas needed for improvement. I myself was humbled by this study and amazed at the wealth of teaching it afforded just in this one area. It is a measuring tool that needs to be reviewed continually so we will be careful to not forget any of its instruction.

I thank those who have encouraged me to publish. It is my great desire that it will be used as an aid to enrich marriages as well as individual lives. May it glorify the Lord by helping produce marriages that are more connected, more loving, and less self-focused.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

E ros is the Greek word for love of an adorable object, and it is a term especially used for the love between man and woman. Phileo is the Greek word that refers to the love between friends. Agape speaks only of the kind of love that God possesses. It characterizes God Himself (for God is love1 John 4:8). God shows us this love in the gift of His Son, Jesus (John 3:16). This is not mutual affection but rather the love Christ has shown uswhich is undeserved and without thought of return. First Corinthians 13 is an entire chapter devoted to the description of a gape .

What is sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal? These have no lasting significance, will not affect the world tomorrow, and will only put the focus on oneself. Sometimes God gives wonderful talentsglorious talents. But if we use those talents to draw attention to ourselves and not point to Him, then those talents are emptythey have no lasting value. Our talents must flow out of a love for Godand not just an eros nor even a phileo love. The love through which our talents must come is that love that only God can produce. God lives within us, so out of us He can make His agape love to flow. If all we do and say comes from Gods love overflowing within us, then an impact will indeed be made; our talents and our entire being will honor and glorify God, and that will be our motivationto please Him, not people. Then lives will be affected. It will have a staying effect. It will be rememberednot because we are so wonderful, but because God is so wonderful. I must get about the business of yielding every moment so His love can stream out of me and so He can use me to influence others for His honor and glory.

Marriage

Sometimes in my marriage I think I am right in an area. I know I have the world on my sideand even God on my side. I sound my horn and tinkle my cymbal. Indeed, I may be 100 percent right, but if Im more concerned with being right than with displaying Gods love, I am dead wrong. When I approach my husband with a self-assured, presumptuous attitude, then I am not allowing Gods love to flow through me. Gods love never insists on being right. It does not argue.

The only way agape love can be displayed by me is by yielding to the Spirit that lives within me and by allowing Christ to love through me. Then I am walking in the Spirit, and that walk will never find me having a need to be right.

When I walk in the flesh, the flesh wishes to promote self. From this comes the urge to be right on an issue. When I walk thus, I do notand cannotconvey agape love to my husband, my God-given authority. Walking in the Spirit so Gods love can flow through me is much more needful to my marriage.