Stosny Steven - Living & loving after betrayal: how to heal from emotional abuse, deceit, infidelity, and chronic resentment

Steven Stosny, PhD, is founder of CompassionPower, a successful anger-regulation program that he has directed for more than twenty years. In addition, he has treated more than six thousand people through his organization. He has appeared on many major media programs, including several appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is author of Love without Hurt and You Dont Have to Take It Anymore, and coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Marys College of Maryland, and he currently has a blog on www.psychologytoday.com.

Living and Loving after Betrayal offers a strong rope out of the quicksand of misery and despair that couples sink into after a betrayal. Stosnys guide to healing the heartache of betrayal is the most helpful I have seen in twenty-five years of clinical practice.

Ronald J. Coughlin, EdD, licensed psychologist with twenty-five years in full-time private practice

Since a pain-free life isnt possible, we need to understand and follow the wisdom provided in Living and Loving after Betrayal. Stosny, one of todays most highly respected relationship experts, understands how to grow and have a more satisfying life after being deeply hurt by others. This is a deceptively simple tool kit for effectively handling the full range of relationship disappointments and heartaches.

Jon Carlson, PsyD, EdD, distinguished professor in the Division of Psychology & Counseling, Governors State University

This is a remarkably wise and compassionate guide to healing from intimate betrayal. It will help you recover the best of yourself rather than remain stuck in anger or anxiety. I will ask my clients to read this book and I will give it to loved ones who are on a healing journey.

William J. Doherty, PhD, professor and director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project at the University of Minnesota, and author of Take Back Your Marriage.

Stosny has broken new ground for individuals moving forward from any type of betrayal or violation of the intimate bonds of relationships. He takes the reader beyond hurt, even beyond healing, into the area of personal mastery by way of compassion. This book is a must read for anyone who has felt the pain and disappointment of a once-trusted relationship.

Pat Love, EdD, coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It and Never Be Lonely Again

This excellent book addresses an often-overlooked aspect of healing from betrayal, and that is self-healing. When people get hurt, their attention usually turns to the perpetrator of the hurtones partner. But part of the real work that needs to be done is on ones self.

If you have felt the devastating effects of betrayal, this must-read book will help restore your inner resilience and faith in yourself so you can get through the difficult periods and thrive beyond them. Stosnys workbook-like exercises help you apply what youre learning to your own unique situation. Youll feel like you have a personal coach guiding you to better times!

Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2013 by Steven Stosny

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Melissa Kirk

Edited by Susan LaCroix

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Stosny, Steven.

Living and loving after betrayal : how to heal from emotional abuse, deceit, infidelity, and chronic resentment / Steven Stosny, PhD.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-752-7 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-753-4 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-754-1 (epub) 1. Trust. 2. Betrayal. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Interpersonal conflict. 5. Interpersonal relations. 6. Couples--Psychology. I. Title.

BF575.T7S76 2013

158.2--dc23

2013011797

To my thousands of clients who have shown the awesome courage to heal and grow from the depths of relationship betrayal.

And, as always, to my mother, who overcame every form of intimate betrayal to become a compassionate, loving, and powerful person.