Cecil Murphy - More Than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse

There are healing words in these pages, words that will empower you and move you through pain to discover a new place of strength and self-confidence. For thirty years I have counseled men, and I know that recovery comes when issues are faced with wise tools. This book by Cecil Murphey will be part of that toolbox.

G REGORY L. J ANTZ , founder of The Center: A Place of Hope, and author of Healing the Scars of Childhood Abuse

Cecil Murphey and the other men whose testimonies fill this book have looked into the secret places of their lives and have pulled out a powerful resource for healing wounds men seldom talk about. Unfortunately, the accounts related in this book are more common than most would want to admit, yet hiding the hurts will not heal the hurts or make the repercussions of unspoken pain go away. With each meditation, this book peels back the layers and speaks with brutal honesty about the lasting effects of sexual abuse on boys or young men. Ultimately, however, this book is not merely about reliving the pain but invites the reader to heal, move forward, and even forgive and find freedom from the bondage that comes from such abuse. Men need to know they are not alone, and there is a way out of the long dark night.

M ARK E. H ARDGROVE , dean of Beulah Heights University, and senior pastor of Conyers Church of God

During this unique historical moment of the #metoo movement, I cant imagine a timelier book. Having been abused myself during childhood, this book helped me heal in a more profound way. This book does more than just identify with those who have been abused: it offers hope and healing. Cecil and his friends are brave to use their lives to bring healing to others. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of Gods grace in its various forms (1 Peter 4:10). This is deeply needed today not only in America but around the world.

M ARK F INCANNON , motion picture casting director

More Than Surviving calls men to step into a healing community and embrace change. Through these remarkable meditations, Cecil reveals his own candid account, as well as those of five other men abused as children. Each of these brave survivors have brought their childhood secrets to light, pressed through incredible pain, uncovered lies, and learned to value themselves as individuals loved by God. The prayers at the end of each meditation may well transform your life and relationships.

K AREN C ICCARONE , cofounder of the Oasis Healing Ministry for survivors of sexual abuse and assault

Cecil Murpheys More Than Surviving talks honestly about the emotions and struggles of men who battle with the aftermath of childhood abuse. With transparency and grace, Cec and the other contributing authors write about the identity confusion, grief, guilt, betrayal, loss, stolen opportunities, and shattered trust experienced by countless men. More Than Surviving is a voice for men who struggle to speak their pain, offers hope for their healing, and is a testament to Gods love and grace.

S HELLY B EACH , award-winning author of Love Letters from the Edge: Meditations for Those Living with Brokenness, Trauma, and the Pain of Life

Honest. Open. Heart-wrenching. A reminder that if you or someone you love has suffered abuse, you are not alone. There is hope. There is help. Cec Murphey is more than an eloquent wordsmith; he knows that healing comes when we know someone will hear our stories and love us without reservation. When men are abused as children, masculinity suffers. Confusion reigns. Murphey reminds us that we dont live in a neat and tidy world with explanations for everything: Logical answers dont satisfy emotional needs. He is living proof that Gods grace breaks through our wounded past and offers light in the midst of our darkness.

D ON S. O TIS , author of Whisker Rubs: Developing the Masculine Identity, and president of Veritas Communications

Are you a victim of childhood abuse or married to a survivor? Cecil Murphey courageously addresses the fears, frustrations, and fallout that frequently linger from childhood abuse. More Than Surviving provides specially crafted meditations that inspire healing, peace, and a more loving connection with God. If you want to move past merely surviving the trauma of your childhood, if you want to live in the fullness God desirespick up a copy of this book! You wont be disappointed.

J ULIE G ORMAN , co-owner of Gorman Leadership Group, and coauthor of Married for a Purpose and Two Are Better Than One

More Than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse 2018 by Cecil Murphey

Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel Inc., 2450 Oak Industrial Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Distribution of digital editions of this book in any format via the internet or any other means without the publishers written permission or by license agreement is a violation of copyright law and is subject to substantial fines and penalties. Thank you for supporting the authors rights by purchasing only authorized editions.

The author, contributors, and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical or psychological services, and this book is not intended as a guide to diagnose or treat medical or psychological problems. If medical, psychological, or other expert assistance is required, the reader should seek the services of a health-care provider or certified counselor.

With the exception of the named contributorsMark Cooper, Roger Mann, Gary Roe, Tom Scales, and Dann Youleall other names and identifying details have been changed to protect individual privacy.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the Holy Bible, Todays New International Version. TNIV. Copyright 2001, 2005 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations marked CEB are from the Common English Bible, CEB copyright 2010, 2011 by Common English Bible. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-0-8254-4498-2

Printed in the United States of America

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Dedicated to hurting men and the secondary survivors in their lives

Im a survivor of childhood abusesexual, physical, and verbal. I dont know if one form was worse than the others.

Does it matter? What matters is that I hurt for a long, long time.

Like many other males, I never told anyone.

Whom would I tell? The people I should have been able to trust were the ones who violated me.

For a long time, I felt different from other men, as if something inside me hadnt been wired correctly. Whats wrong with me? I must have asked myself that question thousands of times over the years.

Some days I felt as if I wanted to die; other days I didnt know if the struggle was worth it. I can now say it was worth the fight. I also believe the only way any of us can find healing from our stolen childhoods is to face our suffering and abuse.