Robert D. Jones - Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help for a Common Problem

uprooting

anger

biblical help for a common problem

robert d. jones

2005 by Robert D. Jones

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwiseexcept for brief quotations for the purpose of review or comment, without the prior permission of the publisher, P&R Publishing Company, P.O. Box 817, Phillipsburg, New Jersey 08865-0817.

Homework assignments from appendix A may be photocopied under the following conditions: (1) you have purchased a copy of this book, (2) you use these photocopied assignments with your counselees, and (3) you charge no more than the cost of photocopying.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Italics within Scripture quotations indicate emphasis added.

Page design and typesetting by Lakeside Design Plus

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Jones, Robert D., 1959

Uprooting anger : biblical help for a common problem / Robert D. Jones.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-10: 1-59638-005-5 (pbk.)

ISBN-13: 978-19638-005-9 (pbk.)

1. AngerReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. AngerBiblical teaching. I. Title.

BV4627.A5J67 2005

2005049438

Contents

Acknowledgments 7

Introduction 9

1. What Is Anger? 13

2. Is Your Anger Really Righteous? 27

3. Getting to the Heart of Anger 45

4. Repentance: The Road to Uprooting Heart Anger 61

5. Changing Our Angry Behavior: Sinful Revealing 77

6. Changing Our Angry Behavior: Sinful Concealing 95

7. Anger against God 113

8. Anger against Yourself 129

9. Helping Others Deal with Their Anger 139

10. Why You Must Deal with Your Sinful Anger 153

Appendix A: Sample Growth and Application
Assignments 169

Appendix B: Reconsidering Two Anger Texts:
Ephesians 4:26 and Hebrews 12:15 181

Notes 189

Index of Scripture 201

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments can read like Old Testament genealogies: if youre not listed, you might skip to something more exciting. But my acknowledgments, like Old Testament genealogies, serve an important function: they remind us of real people whom God knows and uses.

I thank God for the dear church congregation I served from 1985 until the summer of 2004, before relocating to teach biblical counseling at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Grace Fellowship Church, of Hurricane, West Virginia, and my former fellow elders, Gerald, Fred, Dave, Allen, and Danny, provided their senior pastor with ongoing opportunities to study, minister, and write over our eighteen years together. This book sprang initially from a series of sermons on anger, and I doubt Ill ever forget the body for whom they were first prepared.

For nearly as many years, through their writing, lecturing, and private discussion, the teaching faculty of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation in Glenside, Pennsylvania, have stimulated my biblical thinking. David Powlisons lectures, writings, and chapter-by-chapter advice and oversight of my earlier doctoral project were invaluable. Thank you, David, Paul Tripp, Ed Welch, and John Bettler, for teaching me how to uproot sinful anger from my life. My wife also thanks you for giving her a better husband than I was before I met you.

Many of us pastors and professors have appreciated P&Rs longtime commitment to biblical counseling; I am privileged to team with them to add another offering to our movements growing body of Christ-centered, practical literature. Thank you, Al Fisher, for opening this door, and Tara Davis for managing the project, and me, with skill and grace.

Earlier versions of two chapters first appeared in booklet form. Thank you, Sue Lutz of CCEF, for your editorial touches and for encouraging me to keep writing.

This book did not arise in intellectual isolation. I am grateful to the many dozens of pastors, fellow church members, and counselees who have interacted with me on the subject of anger and have given me opportunity to counsel and teach them. Entrusting your lives to me has driven me to search the Scriptures to bring Christ into your struggles. In the following pages, your names and identifying details have been changed to protect the not-yet-glorified.

My wife, Laurenmy lover and best friend for more than twenty-two yearshelped me in all the ways mentioned above, and many more. Along with our sons, Tim and Dan, she gracefully handled my anger displays and patiently endured my long hours on the laptop. Over the years the truths in this book have helped us to learn together how to resolve marriage conflicts and repent of anger in our family life.

Introduction

Grandma Kresge was right. I didnt admit it at the time; teenage stubbornness balked at doing so. But as an adult, I now concede. Bobby, she said, youve got to get the weeds by the roots, or theyll just grow back. Unfortunately, Grandma was right. Dandelion fields forever.

Years later as a newlywed, I remembered Grandmas words. Our retired neighbor, who in my judgment had too much time on his hands, maintained a manicured lawn. While he never knew my grandmother, he knew the truth she preached: get the roots, or the weeds will return. Every day he uprooted those intruding dandelions. The result was a weed-free yard.

What do these lawn-care reflections have to do with anger? Simple: you must uproot your sinful anger, or its weeds will return. There will be no thorough and lasting godly change without root removal. Moralistic efforts to be patient with your coworkers wont cut it. Regret-riddled resolutions to stop yelling at your kids wont last. You must rip out those angry roots.

The Bible and Our Anger Problem

Is uprooting sinful anger a realistic goal? Can it happen? Gods answer in the Bible is Yes! This book is about The Book, the Bible, and what it teaches us about anger.

In one sense, the Bible is all about anger. Consider the patriarchs in Genesis or the Israelites sojourning in Exodus. Observe the relational dynamics in Judges and Samuel and Kings. Enter the struggles of the psalmists. Heed the wisdom and warnings of Proverbs. Feel the passion of the prophets. Listen to our Lord in the gospels. Watch King Herods royal rage erupt. See the interplay between Jesus and the Jewish leaders. Hear the apostle Paul counsel his congregations. Humble yourself before Peters and Jamess piercing reproofs. From cover to cover, in narrative and precept, the Bible is a Book about anger.

While this reality sobers us, it also breeds hope. Why? Because this Book about anger gives answers for that anger! Scripture generates hope for angry people like us. This is welcome news because, as seasoned counselors know, nearly every relational conflict involves anger issues. Gods Word gives us all that we need to handle this universal problem. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16). His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3).

The Plan of This Book

This book is written for the average reader who recognizes that anger is a too-frequent issue in his life and a too-prevalent problem in his family, work, and church relationships. My own experience certainly confirms this; the illustrations Ill share from my own life and ministry verify the common place anger has in our lives.