Zacharias Tanee Fomum - Enjoying the Premarital Life

This book, Enjoying the Premarital Life, is the first of three books in the series entitled: God, Sex, and You.

The second book in this series is entitled: Enjoying the Choice of Your Marriage Partner, while the third book in this series is entitled: Enjoying the Married Life.

Book one continues in book two and book three brings the theme to a climax. To have a balanced and complete view of what God has given us on the subject, we encourage you to read books two and three as well.

We send this book out with faith that you will soon discover that it is the book for you, your parents, your children, your friends and all whom you know, and that you will do all you can to put it within their reach.

If you have been blessed, encouraged, challenged, provoked or made angry by the contents of this book, please write to me about how you feel.

God bless you!

1st February, 1984

Dr. Zacharias Tanee FOMUM

P.O. Box 6090, Yaounde

CAMEROON

I had just finished the message when a young man walked up to me. He was tall, slim and very handsome. He took me aside and quietly told me his story. This is what he said:

I came to this city six years ago and soon found a good job since I was very well-qualified. I set out to enjoy myself with girls. At first, it was all so good. I was like a king liked, loved and adored. I went from one girl to another and then decided to conquer as many of them as I could. I thought to myself that the more girls I knew the happier I would become. Things continued like that for some time. Sometimes I contacted venereal diseases from the girls, but I was able to get treated very soon.

One unfortunate day, I met with one girl and this contact gave me a more serious disease. I have had this disease for over four years now. I have visited many hospitals and private clinics, but I have not been treated. The symptoms of the disease are increasing. At the moment I am beginning to lose my manly powers. I feel horrible. How shall I face the future if my manhood is not restored? To make things more difficult for me, my parents have got a young wife for me in the village. She is young, fresh and innocent. They will soon send her to me. What shall I do? Sometimes I think that the best thing to do is to go and throw myself into the sea and end it all. I am not enjoying life. Is there any hope for me?

Please Sir, can I talk to you? I turned and faced the young woman who stood before me. She was about 26 years old, well-dressed and sophisticated. When I was able to listen to her, this is what she said to me: When I was a student in the High School, I went out to seek experience because many of my friends were doing that. In the course of it I got pregnant. The boy who made me pregnant gave me money and I got an experienced hospital attendant to help me to commit an abortion. Many people did not know about my pregnancy and, so, I was able to continue life as normal after the abortion was committed.

Then four years ago I got married. We have been waiting and waiting in vain for our baby to be conceived. Each month I say to myself, It will happen this month, but nothing happens. Each time I have my monthly period, I hate myself and a voice inside me says, You murdered your first child, why should God give you another one?

I do not know what to do with myself. I hate all the boys who had sexual relationships with me. I hate the boy who made me pregnant. Above all, I hate myself. I am useless. What can I do with myself? I have never told my husband that I once committed an abortion. I instead lied to him that he was the first man in my life. I fear that someday he will know the truth and our marriage will end.

You have talked about the love of God for abortionists. Can that love include me?

He was 19 and in the High School. He accepted no criticism. He did everything to prove that he was right. He did everything to draw attention to himself. Then one day, he confided in me. This is what he said: I am very lonely. I do not know who my father is. It is as if I came from nowhere. Each time I ask my mother to show me my father, or at least to tell me his name, she just looks into the air and says nothing. I feel like taking up a gun and shooting her and then shooting myself, and then it will be a happy end.

She was the most intelligent student in the entire tribe. Normally, girls were not allowed to go to the University in this tribe. The people could not afford it and, besides, they thought that things might go wrong with the girls in the course of the many years at school. Because she was so brilliant, her teachers pleaded with her parents to relent and let her be educated. They gave in and sacrificially sent her to Remareke University in Nadagu. It was the early days and the laws of that University were strict. No unmarried girl who was pregnant could continue in that University. She went in the way of the wayward and an accident occurred. She was dismissed and sent back home without the diploma she had gone to seek. The parents were heartbroken. The teachers were disillusioned and the villagers named her baby Diploma.

I was visiting one country on a scientific tour. At the earliest opportunity, I made contact with the believers and was invited to speak at a meeting arranged particularly for wives of the University teachers. At the close of the meeting, an elegant lady of about forty-five asked if she could have a private talk with me. We arranged a meeting for the next day. At that meeting, I just sat for two hours while she poured out her sad story. This is what she told me: I was a virgin at the time of my marriage and all through my life, my husband has been the only man in my life. I loved him and trusted him. However, five years ago, I discovered that he had been untrue to me for all the years of our married life and had children with other women. I saw the children and they all resembled him. From then on, my heart was broken and my deep love for him turned into bitter hatred. He apologized to me and was truly repentant, but my heart was closed to him. Everyday I sit at table opposite him and the sight of him makes me feel like ending my life and his own. We have money, position, respect from people, everything we need but, finally, we have nothing.