Recorded Books Inc. - A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds

W elcome to the most important human relationship you will ever buildMARRIAGE! You will feel more deeply and grow wiser in ways you cannot even imagine. You will never be the same again! This book may be one of the most critical you have ever read because it will help you create and enrich what is so unique about marriage, becoming intimate lovers.

Sexuality is that crucial element in marriage that keeps you from simply being roommates over the coming years. In Gods design, sex and an intimate marriage can never be separated. He wove sexual fulfillment intricately into the fabric of marital companionship and created the concept of two becoming one flesh in wild, wise, and wonderful ways.

A VOIDING THE S EXUAL D ETOURS

Heres a scary thought: What if you are entering your new sex life in marriage with the wrong map and are going to end up on a very frustrating journey, or even worseare an accident waiting to happen? There are a lot of myths out there about sex. Perhaps before developing what a great marriage and sex life is all about, some of the sexual detours (false expectations) that have damaged other newlyweds should be mapped out.

Sex is natural, and lovemaking will fall into place easily in our marriage. If we wait till marriage, we will have a great sex life. Becoming intimate both emotionally and physically takes skills. Time and effort are required to learn to communicate and initiate and disagree. To truly learn your partners body and how to turn them on does not happen in dating days or on the honeymoon. Your genitals, minds, hormones, and sexual responses are God-given, but you will have to learn to make beautiful music together. Yes, if you wait till marriage you will have fewer wounds and less baggage, but it is still a skill-building process that wont automatically fall into place.

Sex is the most important component of a great Christian marriage. Sex is wild and crazy and the most exciting experience ever. As an engaged or newlywed couple you may wonder if anything is a close second to sex, but it is not the be-all and end-all in achieving a great marriage. Playing, achieving goals, worshiping, and enjoying intimate relationships are also crucial. But sex, along with your faith and intimate friendship, is indeed indispensable.

Will you re-create the movies and rip each others clothes off and have wild orgasms? Sometimes perhaps. Dont be set up and disappointed like one of my clients. She said she went on her honeymoon expecting sex to be an exciting race car, but felt she came home with a camel. In addition to being unrestrained, lovemaking is also comfortable, a learning process, and warmly connecting. The honeymoon should include a lot of intimate cuddling and learning about each others bodies, because this is the foundation of wild sex.

Great lovers have great technique. Men/I know all about sex. Sexual experience correlates with lovemaking skills. This book stresses being knowledgeable and wisely knowing biology and technique. Sex, bottom line, is not about technique though. The rest of this introduction stresses that great lovemaking is about intimate relating, and demonstrates that great lovers know how to play, be openly curious, and disciplined. How would men learn all about sex? The locker room is hardly a fount of knowledge. I remember one of my clients who had slept with more than fifty women and yet was one of the most inept lovers I ever counseled. Couples, regardless of experience, must learn each others unique bodies and responses as they experiment and coach each other.

Lovemaking will occur spontaneously and often. A couple, after being married one month, asked me why they werent fitting the honeymooners rabbit syndrome. Then they explained that they had moved out of state, both started new jobs, and were grieving over many losses along with stress of this great adventure. Cut yourselves some slack and be realistic. Even newlyweds need to be aware of optimal times and plan sex into their busy schedules. They will sometimes feel down emotionally and not always be ready to go. This is normal.

Sexual mistakes and sins are more difficult to forgive and may haunt for a lifetime. First Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality, sins against his own body. God did create our bodies to be the home of the Holy Spirit. Sexual sins are a personal violation of Gods home and therefore can have more personal consequences. Masturbating to pornography will create greater fallout in your body and soul than being rude to a friend. This does not mean that sexual sins are the worst sins and should create guilt for a lifetime. Our heavenly Father desires to forgive and redeem sexual sins and mistakes just like any other transgressions.

One young lady was dreading sex in marriage and stated she had ruined her wedding night with her past mistakes. I told her that God was not as concerned with her wedding night as He was with the next sixty years. She needed to appropriate His forgiveness and allow Him to redeem her sexuality, as He helped her create a fun intimacy with her new husband.

G ETTING TO THE H EART OF A G REAT S EX L IFE

God has a fantastic formula for your sex life. But great lovemaking is not for the immature and unskilled. Only Christlike grown-ups in a committed marriage can make love as the Creator designed!

A N I NTIMATE M ARRIAGE + M ATURE L OVERS = A F ULFILLING S EX L IFE