C Fernandez - Master Your Self: How I Overcame Premature Ejaculation And PSSD

How it all began

Sex! What a great topic to talk about, right? The goal of human existence, the icing on the cake of life, the REASON why we live(dont judge me), the underlying topic of all conversations, the reason we wake up in the morning, the release from all stress Correct? Unfortunately, not for some.

There is an ESTIMATED 30-40% of men in the world who suffer from premature ejaculation (referred to as PE from here on out). Men, who for some ungodly reason, ejaculate too soon to even allow the experience of SEX to be enjoyable. WHAT A WASTE. Why has no one ever told me about this? Those were my first thoughts when I found out that I had PE.

NOTE Most specialists consider PE as ejaculating in less than 1 minute after intercourse begins, this is widely debated however by people who ejaculate within 2-5 minutes. I for one consider PE to be relative. It takes a woman about 20 min on average to reach orgasm.

Nowadays, even in our modern era, the topic of PE is one of controversy and taboo, even among the very individuals who suffer from it there is a tendency to not talk about it. And why would they? Its EMBARRASING. I mean, heck, when I first realized I had PE, I was SURE that if the word ever got out my sex life would be over from that moment forward.

I started to imagine that all the girls I had been with until then, were all of a sudden laughing at me and talking to their friends about how bad I was in bed. Now that I found out that what I have is considered a sexual dysfunction, I pictured the news spreading from one female social circle to the next, until finally, all my possible prospects were fully aware of my disorder and I would be officially or unofficially blacklisted from having sex with any girl ever again. Heck all of a sudden I started to rationalize that this may even explain why some girls were putting me in the friend zone in the present! I couldnt take the shame!

Now that this thought creeped its way into my head, I could no longer enjoy the simple pleasures in life as I did before I even knew that there was a condition called PE. All of a sudden watching porn became a constant reminder of how long THEY could last and how long I couldnt by comparison. I would talk about sex with all my friends, leaving out the details concerning length of time, meanwhile I heard stories of sexual conquests and leaving a girl exhausted and what not.

Growing up as a kid, when I first learned what to do with my man parts, I loved the fact that I could bring myself to pure ecstasy in a matter of minutes or less. In fact, the brevity of the experience was what allowed me to have the experience as often as I pleased which was often; without having to worry about being found out by my parents or my pesky step-sisters and siblings.

Yet, as my years progressed, I slowly found myself in the middle of a very different experience. Growing up as a young adult with loads of ambition and choices to spare, yet I had this one nagging monkey hanging from my back, one nagging thought always in the back of my mind Was I sexually impaired?

These were my adolescent years. Years filled with momentary sexual triumphs where I finally laid down with a girl, followed by months of confusion and dissatisfaction and performance-anxiety. Anxiety so bad that my performance or lack thereof became the focal point of ALL my relationships and ultimately caused other kinds of behaviors that were destructive to myself (neediness, self doubt, scarcity mentality etc.). I would just think well this one girl was kind enough to deal with me for a few months but I will never be that lucky again.