Daylle Deanna Schwartz - How to Please a Woman In & Out of Bed

How to

Please a

Woman

In & Out

of Bed

2ND EDITION

DAYLLE DEANNA SCHWARTZ

Adams Media
Avon, Massachusetts

Copyright 2005 Daylle Deanna Schwartz.
First edition copyright 2000 Daylle Deanna Schwartz.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59337-290-6
ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-290-3

Printed in Canada.

J I H G F E D C B

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Schwartz, Daylle Deanna.
How to please a woman in & out of bed / Daylle Deanna Schwartz.2nd ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-59337-290-6
1. Sex instruction for men. 2. WomenSexual behavior. 3. WomenPsychology.
4. Man-woman relationships. I. Title: How to please a woman in and out of bed.
II. Title.

HQ36.S38 2005
613.9'6dc22

2004026944

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases. For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

CONTENTS

Why Upgrade Your Software?
The Benefits of Change and Understanding

Technical Glitches in Our Programs:
Men and Women CAN Be Compatible

Decoding Our Mixed Signals:
The Rationale Behind What Seems Irrational

Security Glitches:
Why We Crash Without Reassurance

Emotions Crash My Hard Drive!
Emotional Incompatibilities

Communication Breakdown:
Finding a Common Language

Programmed Agendas:
Upgrading Expectations

Upgrading Your Appeal:
Maximizing Your Attractiveness to Women

Romance Software:
Reaping the Rewards of Being Delicious

Redefining Naughty:
Enjoying a Sexual Woman

Is She Having an Orgasm?
The Dynamics of Female Sexuality

Heating Her Up:
How to Get Her Rewed for Sex

Road Map to Hot Spots:
Working the Buttons That Turn Her On

Hot Sex:
How to Be Her Dream Lover

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As always, I must begin by thanking God and the Universe for all of my blessings. Without my strong belief in a higher power, I wouldn't be where I am today!

Thank you to all the men who've taken my workshops or done individual counseling with me and encouraged and inspired me to write this book. Working with you has been a pleasure! A special thank you to all the men and women who contributed knowledge, feelings, and encouragement to my readers through interviews and questionnaires. I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts. It's because of you that the book has so much dimension and spirit.

Thank you again Linda Konner, my terrific agent, for your belief in me and your supportive work on my behalf. Thanks also to Danielle Chiotti, Acquisitions Editor at Adams Media, for being a pleasure to work with. Thank you to Bridget Brace, development editor, for your sharp insight.

BIG, BIG thanks to my wonderfully supportive family. Thanks to my friends who have supported me through my growing pains and my education about men. Thank you Julie Coulter, for sharing so much of yourself and for your always-cheerful encouragement. Thank you Lydia Stein for encouraging me to write this book and your continued support. Thank you Grace Gallo, for always cheering me on. Thank you Judy Wong, for your consistent belief in me and for always being there for the big stuff.

A special thanks to everyone at The Silver Spoon diner on First Avenue in New York Citywhere I regularly take my laptop out for a yummy meal with terrific service and lots of refills on my coffee. Thanks to some of my ex's for showing me why this book was necessary!

Chapters 13 and 14 are dedicated to the memory of Bay DeLussa, who passed away as I wrote this book. Bay was known to many men for his determination to educate anyone who'd listen about how to satisfy a woman. He saved many marriages by teaching men skills and attitude. I interviewed his son, Jesse DeLussa, who shared many of the techniques that his father advocated. Thank you Jesse for giving me so much time and great info!

INTRODUCTION

Men avoid self-help books and classes like the plague and for good reasons:

Personal growth is considered a woman thingyou want to keep your masculinity intact

Women push you to read self-help booksyou don't like being told what to do

You know that you're different from womenyou assume what works for us won't work for you.

I agree. You may be skeptical about reading what I, a woman, tell you about pleasing my own sex. I don't blame you. SoI'll tell you straight up-front that I love you guys, I'm grateful you exist, and I respect your differences from women and don't propose to change your basic essence. It's delicious as is!

I always wanted to write a book for men but was told, Men don't buy self-help books. Self-help has been looked upon as a woman's thing. But when I taught my Nice Girls on Top class, I was regularly asked by men to do one geared to their needs. I began one for men in 1993, which evolved into my Guybercize workshops. Men especially enjoy the camaraderie that ensues when they share their frustrations with women. Participants leave the class with their eyes opened wider, as if someone just turned on a light. They show more gratitude than women, who have lots of avenues for gathering understanding. I also do counseling with men, and must admit I enjoy them the most. Men encouraged me to write this book.

I proved the naysayers wrong! You do want to enlighten yourselves and I'm pleased for you. The first edition of How to Please a Woman In & Out of Bed has sold so well that I was asked to revise it. In this new edition, I've added sexier tips and more ways to make you appealing to women that shouldn't be uncomfortable. I know that women can be difficult to decipher and seem even more difficult to please. They get on my nerves too! I often prefer the company of men because of that. But since you want to be in our company and our beds, read on.

Why do men and women often seem so incompatible? Think of relationships in terms of computers. As kids, our hard drives are programmed differently. Women are more like Macs. Men are more like PCs. Macs have always been able to read PCs better than PCs could read Macs. Men often have no clue about what women are trying to say. Women analyze you until they find a conclusion, however wrong it is. Macs are considered to be more creative, and women go into more nuances and details than many of you think necessary. But, with the right software we can be compatible. Look how much better PCs can now read Macs since Bill Gates designed better software. Consider this book YOUR software!