Britton - The art of sex coaching: expanding your practice

L IFE COACHING IMPLIES coaching the whole person. Well-trained coaches are capable of creating conversations about any and all areas of a clients life, and then creating multiple action plans (MAPS) to achieve the desired result or change. One of the joys of life coaching is addressing the client as a whole person, getting to know him or her in every facet of life, and turning all of him or her toward the desired goal.

Even as we aim to address the whole person, good life coaching often will address particular topics or specific aspects of a clients life. Sometimes the focus of coaching may be the clients spouse or intimate partner, and how the state of the relationship supports or does not support the clients life goals and intentions. But I suspect that when discussing relationships, more often than not, inquiries about the sexual relationship are avoided or not clearly discussed. Sex and sexual satisfaction is often the elephant in the room that people walk around, pretending it is not even there. Once sex and sexuality are removed from the conversation, we lose the whole person whose whole life we are working to support and enhance.

Sex coaching is a natural development in the growing field of life coaching. Sexual expression and sexual intimacy are crucial components of human life and certainly important aspects embodying the principles of living well and healthy living. Sex coaching is thus a unique but highly valuable niche within the life coaching profession.

In writing this foreword for Patti Brittonss book, I was tempted to call it foreplay instead of a foreword . Foreplay is the preparation, the welcoming, the invitation, and the beginning to a good sexual experience. I want to have you, the reader, get ready for the pages to come and your introduction to the field of sex coaching. It is my pleasure to introduce you to the wisdom of Dr. Britton and her informative guidance and coach approach to better sexual expression.

Sex . It is a word that is ubiquitous in our society. The word jumps out at people wherever they go and whenever they hear it or see it. Yet many people cant even say comfortably the word itself or, if they can, they can only do so in a whisper. We plaster our billboards with sexual images and fill our television hours with sexual innuendo. Yet in our personal lives there is likely no topic we discuss less. Sex, for all its ubiquity, remains the most misunderstood form of human expression.

The pervasive and enduring misunderstandings regarding sex are both paradoxical and impoverishing. Intercourse and other forms of sexual expression are brilliant symbolic representations of what most humans seekconnection, union, and integration (both within us and with others). (After all, where would we all be without sex? Our very creation came from such a moment.) Sex is also the human expression of the life force or lan vital . In Eastern traditions, this energy is called chi or ki . It is the core energy of our being and the unique expression of our humanness. Sex is thus not only the manifestation of our desire for connection and unity with another but is also be a source of transcendence in its most glorious experience. Yet, in societies worldwide, sex often continues to be the most misunderstood and dissatisfying form of human experience.

In The Art of Sex Coaching , Dr. Britton brings a new view to helping persons get more satisfaction out of their sexuality and their sexual experience. Be forewarned. This is a no-holds-barred approach to the topics of sex and sexuality. Dr. Britton believes that accurate information allows clients to make intelligent choices. This goes not only for clients but also for coaches. Dr. Britton is clear that in order to be a sex coach one requires specialized training, knowledge of ethical guidelines, and a developed professional network. All of these things are requisite if one is to be the best one can be at the art of sex coaching. Dr. Britton also emphasizes that sex coaching is not psychotherapy. Coaches are not therapists and not all issues which clients raise can be addressed in coaching. The first rule of coaching is to give clients proper referrals if they are not coachable or have therapeutic issues.

Some who read this book will be called to explore specialized training to become sex coaches and take their specialized training in sexuality and develop a sex coaching niche. Other readers will integrate techniques and insights from the book into their current coaching practice and help clients avail themselves of sex coaching resources when they would benefit from coaching that directly addresses sexuality. Therapists and counselors will also find The Art of Sex Coaching helpful as a source of information and guidance when working with clients whose therapeutic concerns involve sexual behavior and dysfunction.

Dr. Britton shows you how to discuss sex and sexuality with clients in a coachlike manner. My belief has always been that coaching is an ongoing series of conversations about any and all areas of my clients lives, and this may include sex. Similarly Dr. Britton is clear to state that sex coaching is a process, not a single eventit is a conversational process taking place in the larger context of the clients life. When that coaching process requires addressing sex, The Art of Sex Coaching shows you how to expand the conversation in this direction in order to assist your client. The book is full of case examples and illustrative material that lets readers into coaching conversations and get a feeling for the frank and transformative conversations that occur in sex coaching.

This wonderful guide provides all that a reader needsgood, factual information as well as professional guidance in the techniques to use when you are actually coaching clients. There are many lessons the reader can take away from this book, even if the intent is not to become a sex coach; whether you are a coach, therapist, or counselor, this book should be on your library shelf. Together with further training, however, the lessons from The Art of Sex Coaching point the way toward becoming an informed, skilled, professionally-trained, and ethical sex coach.

Dr. Patrick Williams
Psychologist, Master Certified Coach