Mulcahy - Go get him!: everything you need to know to create the love you want

Go

Get

Him!

Everything you need to know
to create the love you want

Avril Mulcahy

GILL & MACMILLAN

Dedicated to all my fellow goddesses in the world: from even a little spark may burst a flame.

The Relationship = Happiness Myth

Weve all had to face the dreaded question: Why are you single?

You know the awkward silence that follows, where you try to defend your single status without looking like a desperado. You know the kind of crap you get from married women, who within two minutes of meeting you will declare, I have a man do you? Or perhaps youve judged someone else. Maybe youve thought, Well, there must be something wrong with her if shes still single.

Does this all ring a bell?

A lot of people dont know what to do with you as a single because you dont fit in with what society says you should be. People have this idea from the media or romantic films that if youre in a relationship, you must be happy. In our culture and society, relationships and marriage are associated with success.

I am here to tell you that the equation 1 Male + 1 Female = Happiness is complete and utter bullshit. A relationship will not make you happy or complete you. Nobody else can make you happy only you can.

Forget about what society says. Society says a lot of things, but it doesnt always get it right. Society will always have a new notion on how you should live your life. There will always be a new fad on how to be happy.

The goal of this book isnt to be in a relationship by the time youve finished reading it I would be lying to you if I promised you that. As a professional matchmaker, I have numerous clients coming to me who expect me to work wonders for them. Some women seem to think that I can make a man for them or order him from a catalogue and deliver him to their door. Plenty of women come to me and say they want to find a husband in three months. I would love to be able to do this for my clients, and if I could, Id already be a millionaire and would be lying on a beach in the Caribbean right now. But life doesnt work like that, and relationships and love definitely dont work like that either. I cant make someone want to be in a relationship with you. I cant make someone want to commit to you. I cant make someone love you.

The goal of this book is to give you the best possible chance to get out there and increase your opportunities to meet great men who you could potentially have a healthy relationship with, or a casual fling, or whatever you choose. The book centres around building you into a high-value woman so that your true goddess can shine. Once you figure this out, you will make better choices and you wont put up with the shite thats out there. When you love, nourish and support yourself, then what I can promise you is that you will be happy all by yourself. And you know what? That happy person is so attractive to men.

Your Go Get Him road map

The book is separated into three sections: Get Ready, Get Set, Go!.

1. Get ready

Get Ready will help you fall in love again with your dating life and your vision of a relationship. Take time to appreciate the brilliance, beauty and magnificence of you, and with my help, decide to make it even better. Never forget that you are one of a kind and great things will happen to you when you take a full hold of your life. I will show you the importance of silencing your own single woman victim mentality and other destructive dating patterns that can steal your joy, harm your dating growth and block you from opportunities to meet great men. Sure, some women have met the man of their dreams with little effort and some women have also won the lotto. Its time to stop leaving things to chance.

2. Get set

Get Set gives you a plan of action to live a better dating life. There are things in your dating life that are no longer working for you, and you know it in your heart. Become more daring and try things that you have never tried before. In this section, I will ask you to challenge yourself and I will show you how to meet more men.

3. Go!

With a firm foundation now in place, the Go section will show you how to get in touch with your inner goddess and put the finishing touches to your dating life so that you can really get out there wiser, sexier and with a new spring in your step.

Opportunities to meet (OTM)

The dating market is really just like any other market. Youre shopping for a great mate. You decide your route to market to advertise your best qualities. It requires an investment of time and cash, but the payoff love, maybe even a long-term commitment is priceless. But you need to stop waiting for Prince Charming to come knocking on your door. Many women say they dont want to be alone, but they rarely want to put in the effort it takes to simply find men to date. If you want change, then do something to create change.

The OTM strategy breaks dating down into one simple task: create opportunities to meet men. The OTM strategy gets your networks working for you and shows you how to manoeuvre through them. Keep the OTM strategy firmly at the forefront of your mind as you read this book. You have opportunities all around you right now, and with the right attitude youll suddenly be surrounded by prospective date possibilities!

40 dates in 40 days

How do I know so much about OTMs? Why am I so convinced that there are so many possibilities out there? Because I did it, and I did it all in 40 days.

As a research project, I set myself a challenge to find a date for every day of Lent. I got dates from online agencies, from singles events, from other matchmakers and from friends. My own mammy even set me up on a date. Did I get a relationship out of the experience? No, but that wasnt the point. In fact, the experiment wasnt even conducive to a relationship, as I knew I had a date with another man the next day. The 40 dates in 40 days project was an intensified version of the OTM strategy. So now, whenever anyone tells me there are no men left, I can simply say that there are, and I got 40 of them in a row.

The law of attraction is a load of rubbish

When I was younger my mother always said to me, Whats meant for you wont pass you. I even put that quote on my Bebo page and I was known to say it aloud to anyone in my vicinity for years. I also used to be a fan of The Secret believe it, think it, focus on it. Im a big believer in positive thinking, but I was thinking, focusing and believing to the point of combustion and nothing was happening for me.

The law of attraction that you can get positive results simply by thinking about them is a load of rubbish. You have to be positive, but one of the vital ingredients missing in the law of attraction is the word action. Attraction is attr + ACTION, and The Secret forgot to mention the action part.

One of my clients had read numerous versions of The Secret and had a library full of books about attraction. She came to me to seek out my advice as yet another problem-solving game-changer. I suggested that shed been spending too much time reading books and believing that she could manipulate the universe into motion while sitting on her couch engaged in rigorous attraction thought. She actually admitted as much but had kept doing the same thing thinking really hard, doing nothing and yet somehow still hoping to find a partner because it was within her comfort zone. I immediately got down to work drawing up some action points to get her up off her couch and out dating. You wont get anything in life unless you work in an actionable, goal-oriented, committed and accountable way, and that goes for your dating life too.