Wise Cracks - Lick Like a Lesbian

Lick Like a Lesbian

Wise Cracks

Copyright 2020 by Wise Cracks.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/17/2020

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Lick Like a Lesbian

An informed but fun guide on how
to perform great oral sex

Easy-to-follow steps gently brought to
you by the Wise Cracks Team

The Wise Cracks Team is made up of:

Author and potential comedian: GDC from the UK

Illustrious illustrator: Caty Blaak from the Netherlands

Supporting us in this slightly creative spin on how to perfect oral sex was a great and we must say eager group of volunteers from around the world who put in considerable time to test the techniques contained in Lick Like a Lesbian . What a team, we would like to thank all of them.

And we all need a team, right? As we all know it is highly unlikely that even Fanny Cradock tasted all of her own cakes!

So if you are ready then follo w us.

CONTENTS

Fly like a bird, swim like a fish, fuck like a rabbit, and run like a horse. Not many of us are in the same league when it comes to keeping up with these natural specialists, try as we might. But what about lick like a lesbian? Again, its a tall ordera stretch of the imagination, maybebut if we are honest, who doesnt want to be able to do that? They say nobody does it better, possibly. Well this pocket-sized, tongue-in-cheek user guide on how to perfectly perform ten much-loved oral sex acts has been passionately put together by the Wise Cracks Team with you and your partner in mind. So, while we may not be able to show you how to fly like a bird or swim like a fish and so on, we can indeed teach you how to lick like a lesbian.

This amusing yet eloquent guide provides an exciting cocktail of fun and enhanced techniques that will take you on an exploratory journey both around and inside your partners genitals to produce a culinary three-Michelin-star equivalent to oral sexual delight. All you have to do is choose your favourites from our menu or indulge yourself a little in all of this fine sexual dining experience, which is here for everyone.

The techniques are based on tried-and-tested results delivered to you by a group of very happy volunteers who gave up endless evenings of television, going down the pub, and posh eating out so they could take part in a purely voluntary process which was able to produce extraordinary results. The Wise Cracks Team would like to recognise and pay thanks to the pure dedication and thoroughness the volunteers provided.

As you are now nicely chilled and reading this and possibly a bit horny, we assume that you are also a bit curious as to how you can achieve that perfect oral experience. If the answer is yes, and we are sure it is, then all you need to do now is follow the simple steps, diagrams, and tips herein that will guide you both and provide all you need to know for delivering and sharing the perfect oral orgasm.

Even if you dont have a tongue like a giraffe or a pussy like a New York pastrami sandwich, there is no need to worry; we will show you how to get the best out of this stirring and stimulating form of lovemaking.

And remember, If you cant lick the one you
love, then love the one you lick. E njoy!

Many would agree that oral sex is probably the most intimate form of lovemaking you can share with your partner. Mastering the art of oral sex can elevate your lovemaking and do wonders for the intimacy levels and closeness in your relationship. It will bond you forever. The expression its the best thing since sliced bread is liberally showered upon things we enjoy doing and recommend to others, but have you ever wondered what actually is the very best thing since sliced bread? Well wonder no more because this is it. Administered properly, it is unbeatable. Believe us, oral sex is it . And once you have perfected it, OMG, sex does not get any better. We are sure those who have had the pleasure of such carnal ecstasy will totally agree. Simply put, it is a myriad of techniques and indulgences blended by passion and a willingness to pleasure which delivers the finest love cocktail ever. Its an artan art that is there for all of us to soak up and enjoy.

The aim of this guide is to steer you through the preparation needed for many sensational oral sexual experiences. In addition, it will also describe to you how to hit the highs and then the even higher highs using the many oral techniques that you can perform with your partner. It will also be fun, of course, as everything in life should be.

Further, for the guys, since we are not talking about traditional intercourse, you dont need a big cock, which is good news for the slightly less fortunate amongst you. What you do need, though, is a willing partner, patience, a desire to please, and the basic techniques, which are provided to you in this guide.

Its worth pointing out that there are no exams or tests at the end of this read. Your only judges are your partner and yourself. So dont worry: you can continue to refer to or practice these described techniques as often or as little as you need to. Take from this book what you will and use what works for you. We are all different, so keep going until you find what techniques suit you both best. Its what you enjoy that matters.

One thing to bear in mind, though, is that staring close up at somebody elses genitalia is going to produce a wide range of emotions depending on the person or persons doing the staring. Whether you find it scary, funny, or beautiful, or it simply makes you hornier more moist this guide doesnt really prepare you for that part. You have to work this one out for yourself. The Wise Cracks Team can only suggest that you learn to enjoy every aspect of the experience. You could always start to become more familiar with your partners genital details before oral sex by taking photos and discussing them with each other, or by getting naked and having live viewing and chat sessions beforehand. Its your choice as to how you try to overcome any shyness and understand what you are looking at. Any practice and familiarisation can only be a good thing.

However, anybody with a wildish bush may want to reach for the scissors and then the razor to tidy up a bit before any intimate chat to try to minimise any chance of a negative outcome. Just kidding! As we said earlier, we are all different, and that is what makes oral sex fun and unique.