Tracey Cox - The Hot Sex Handbook: The Handy Pocket Guide to Hot Sex Anywhere, Anytime!

Table of Contents

To those whove already had Hot Sex
but still want more

Introduction

Nearly everyone talks about sex. Were always boasting about how fabulous so-and-so is in bed and hinting at the real reason why we look so tired at work (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). But its a rare person wholl confess details or talk specifics. Jane might well confide that Brad gives the best oral sex shes ever had but she doesnt launch into a lick-by-lick analysis of whyand I bet you dont ask for one.

Thats why we buy sex booksto find out the nitty-gritty details about things were too embarrassed to ask friends or lovers. Trouble is, few deliver what we really want to know. Sex manuals tend to gloss over the practical bread-and-butter stuff and, instead, talk in generalitieslike how women need clitoral stimulation and mens bottoms are a veritable hot spot. Great advice, but if you havent got the foggiest of what to do with it, useless.

This is where The Hot Sex Handbook is different. Instead of assuming you know everything, Ive assumed you know nothing and have dished up all the gory details in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format. The only way I could have been more explicit and specific is to be there in the bedroom with you, guiding your hands and whatever else youre using (and, to tell the truth, Id really rather not).

Thats not to say the book only deals with the basics. Experienced lovers will get heaps out of The Hot Sex Handbook because there are enough advanced tips, tricks, and techniques to keep even Madame Lash happy. But I do suggest you dont skip over what might appear to be the basics. Very often its the people who think they know what theyre doing who need educating the most. Sex is a bit like typing. You can get by using two fingers, but youll never be as good as someone who did the secretarial course and practiced every night. Going back to the grassroots level, even if its just to check that youre on the right track, isnt a bad idea for all of us. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise: sex skills can be learned and we can all improve on them.

Ive written the book using everyday language for similar reasons. The correct, technical terms sound terribly authoritative but if you dont know that a wet dream is actually called a nocturnal emission, you wouldnt have a clue what I was talking about if I used this term. Sometimes, the words I use arent even accurate. Most people say sperm when they actually mean semen, for instance. But, hey, if thats what you call it, thats what Ive called it a lot of the time because I want you to relate to what Im saying.

Im also guilty of making some broad generalizations about sex. I hope there arent too many but if you read something that you personally dont agree with, forgive me. If I covered every single individual preference, research finding, exception, and extreme, Id still be madly typing away at my computer!

I hope you enjoy reading The Hot SexHandbook as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now get to itshred those sheets!

Wicked Ways to Warm Up

Anyone can be good in bed. Genital size doesnt matter. Looks dont matter. You dont have to have legs up to your chin or arms like Arnie, drive a sports car, or be rolling in it to be the best lover your partners ever had. But you do need a good, working knowledge of your subject. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise: sex skills can be learned, we can all improve on them, and I cant think of a better place to start than with foreplay.

It takes the average man two to three minutes of direct sexual stimulation with a partner to orgasm. It takes the average woman twenty to thirty minutes. You dont need to be Einstein to figure out that if you spend longer on foreplay and master it, youll need to swap your Little Black Book for a Big Black Briefcase to lug around all your phone numbers. And women arent the only ones who like foreplay. Even men who can get an erection by inserting a coin in a slot machine cant deny that a good, slow, erotic tease dramatically heightens all sexual sensation. Convinced its imperative you get it right? Thought so! Now, heres some suggestions to improve your foreplay finesse.

WHY YOU SHOULD MASTURBATEIN FRONT OF EACH OTHER

Partners cant read minds. So get rid of that If he/she truly loved me, theyd know what turns me on stuff right now. Body language can speak volumes and talking to each other is essential, but as the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Watching each other masturbate, you see firsthand what technique you each usethe pressure and speed, how you speed it up or slow it down on approach to orgasm, how you stimulate yourself (or not) while youre actually having an orgasm, and what you do with your spare hand. All you need to do then is copy each other.

Generally, men are more comfortable masturbating than women are. If your girlfriends the Im-game-for-anything type, doing it in front of her may simply be a matter of taking a hold of yourself during foreplay. Chances are, shell sit back and watchlots of women are fascinated . If she ignores what youre doing, simply say, Ive had fantasies about masturbating in front of you. This feels great. If she still doesnt get the hint and watch add, This is how I do it when youre not around. Watch. If you want her to imitate your technique, get her to put her hand over yours so she can feel the pressure and rhythm youre using. Ask her to copy you and give lots of positive feedbackWow! Youre better at it than I am. Uninhibited women can easily apply the same principles.

Your partners a little shy and so are you?

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Talk about it first. Say you watched a show; a friend told you; you read about how watching each other masturbate will improve your sex life immeasurably. Ask if your partner agrees and suggest that the next time you make love, you try it. Dont be concerned if it all seems a bit serious and uncomfortable the first time round. Start by showing one technique you use: come on thats a mere second or two of embarrassment! And get them to do the same. Later, when you both feel more comfortable, youll be more confident and relaxed about bringing yourself to an actual orgasm. Masturbating in front of your partner or watching them masturbate has always been up there with the most popular male sex fantasiesand the new breed of sexually liberated females are adding it to their list.

DELICIOUS DETOURS

Happiness isnt a destination; its a means of traveling. This old saying can be applied to foreplay. Rush through the traveling and you might find the destination isnt quite as exciting as youd expected. Lavish attention on the