Tracey Cox - More Hot Sex: How to Do It Longer, Better, and Hotter Than Ever

Contents

1 SEX FOR SINGLES
Get more of it, make the most of it

2 HOW GOOD ARE YOU IN BED?
And how to be much, much better

3 THE NITTY-GRITTY
Hot new techniques to try

4 NOW, THAT HIT THE SPOT !
How to orbit your orgasms

5 SORTING SEX DILEMMAS
Solutions for when your heart and other parts cant agree

6 COUPLES CLIMAX CLINIC
Lust for the long haul

7 SAME SEX STUFF
The latest on gay, lesbian, and bi sexwith tons of tips for straights as well

8 ASK ME ANYTHING
The most asked, most embarrassing, most peculiar sex questions

To my mother, Shirley, who has a gloriously open and nonjudgmental attitude toward sex, and my sister Deborah, who shared her impressive knowledge of all things sexual, thanks to a career with Family Planning.

Both of you have been remarkably influential and helpful in my choice of careerand in my life.

With deepest gratitudeI love you both very much.

Acknowledgments

Writing More Hot Sex felt like coming home for me. Transworld are the people who published my first book, Hot Sex: How to Do It, launching me into a much-loved writing career. Diana Beaumont, the editor of this book, was also the editor of the first and is largely responsible for me living in the UK and for my books being published worldwide. Diana was the first person outside Australia, where Hot Sex was originally published, to buy the book for the UK marketand as it turned out, it was the first book she bought for the company! It seems fitting that eight years later we are still a team, not to mention bloody good friends. So an enormous thanks to you, Di, for doing such a superb job of editing this one as well!

I would also like to thank retrospectively Nerrilee Weir of Random House Australia. Nerrilee is the rights manager responsible for selling Hot Sex worldwide. Its now in 140 countries and if Nerrilee didnt manage to sell it, its because they dont read books there. A big thank-you in advance to the many Transworld and Random House people who I know will work hard to make sure this book is a success. Thanks to Karen Reid in Australia, publicity manager and still one of my very best friends, despite us living on different sides of the world. And to the big bosses in the UK: the effervescent Bill Scott-Kerr, Martin Higgins (who gets better looking every time I see him!), and Larry Finlay, who has always believed in me and been a true friend as well as a brilliant publisher.

Gushing thanks to everyone who shared intimate details of their sex lives for this book: Hazel Steward, Kathy Greenberg, Thamilini Nagaratnam, and Fabienne Segarra (who also happens to be my highly addictive hairdresser). Thanks also to my adored Sex Inspectors sidekick, Michael Alvear, and his gorgeous partner, Robert Dajksler; and to Victoria Lehmann, sex therapist and lovely friend, for casting an experienced eye over some chapters.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to my family, as always. Ive dedicated this book to my mother and sister, but the rest of you shouldnt feel left out. You are all so supportive and precious to meShirley, Terry, Patrick, Maureen, Nigel, Diana, Deborah, Doug, Charlie, and Maddy.

For keeping me sane, making me laugh, and always being there for me, a ginormous thanks to my lovely friends, especially Sam Brick, Rachel Corcoran, Claire Faragher, Sandra Aldridge, Peggy Bunker, and Catherine Jarvie. Anyone whos read my acknowledgments in previous books knows how important, loved, and appreciated my agent and dear friend Vicki McIvor is. Vicki, thanks never, ever seems enough for all you do for me.

My humblest thanks also to my readers. Some of you write to me via my Web site to tell me how much you like my books, and it never fails to make me puff up with pride when you say they made a difference.

Finally, huge thanks to the magazines and Web site who allowed me to use some small sections from previously published material. Some of the information contained in this book originally appeared in Glamour (UK), in Closer, and on www.ivillage.com.

Introduction

A fantastic sex life isnt the norm, its a rarity. Modern life makes it difficult for just about all of us. Whether were two weeks, two months, or two years into a relationship, weve got high expectations of both our sex and love lives, and the inclination and ability to walk away when things get tough. And they do get tough. For everyone.

In the beginning, were all a bit smug and convinced the clichs arent going to apply to us. But then they do, and you can stomp about saying Damn! all you like, but its not going to change the situation. Reading this book, however, just might. I know that sounds a bit full of myselfIm not, trulybut Im really quite pleased with the information contained in More Hot Sex! Like all my other books, the techniques have been road-tested by real couples and their response hasnt just been good, its been downright impressivesome of them didnt come out for weeks!

I learned a lot researching this book, and if Im discovering new thingshaving read, written, and talked about sex pretty much constantly for the last fifteen yearsthe chances are youll learn something, too. The thing is, sex and intimacy are grown-up skills and most of us, sadly, are still in junior high.

So how do you become a better lover? Advice like just be yourself is silly. People used to tell me that when I was nervous about doing live TV, and Id always think, which self exactly? Do I go on the air as Tracey the couch potato in sweatpants, toothpaste-stained T-shirt, and no makeup, casually putting my feet up? Or do I go on as Tracey out on the town, slightly tipsy, talking too much and too loudly, and probably showing too much leg? Saying just be yourself in bed is just as unhelpful, besides, being yourself is sometimes the problem.

How good we are in bed is heavily dependent on the experiences weve had so far in life. If yours have left you bitter, cynical, and selfish about sex, being yourself clearly isnt going to knock the socks off your partner! So Im not going to tell you to do that. Instead, Im going to give you a rundown of all the latest research and the new, outside-the-box ways of thinking about sex, packaged in a (hopefully) entertaining, practical, and useful format. Theres stuff for you to ponder, advice that will reassure, saucy tips and techniques you can try instantly, long-term fix-its, and more than the occasional lecture designed to prod you out of being lazy. Most of all, though, this book aims to make people feel good about themselves sexually. This was the prime focus of sex pioneer Alfred Kinsey, who in my opinion is still the worlds most influential researcher of our time. More Hot Sex seeks to continue what Kinsey started. Lets hear it for a world where sex is something we celebrate, rather than tut-tut and generally disapprove of.

Happy reading (not to mention other things)!

1 Sex for Singles

Get more of it, make the most of it