Table of Contents
Introduction
Of the many types of exciting sexual activities, which include massages, hand jobs, and all sorts of fabulous positions of intercourse, oral sex is a favorite of both couples and individuals. Depending on your partner, this could be fabulous fellatio, captivating cunnilingus, or admirable analingus.
But although many people like to fancy themselves as superstars in the bedroom, cunnilingus seems to be a frequent roadblock on the road to being number one in all things sex-tacular. Why? Lots of reasons! Many people have never even seen a vulva up close and personal (this includes lots of people WITH vulvas), and so pleasuring them can often seem like a mysterious act, something that perhaps takes a lifetime to master. Theres also the question of timing, of what licks feel good versus which just fall flat and, of course, of how to know that your partner is truly enjoying your oral ministrations.
Lucky for you and other soon-to-be oral sex aficionados, this book has a whole lot of information in a little bit of space, so you can learn about basic vulvar anatomy, the ins and outs of smell and taste, and a bevy of tips and techniques in no time at all. Whether youre just getting started in the wonderful world of oral sex or looking to improve your style, Blow Her Mind is here to help you be the leader of the lickers!
One of the most important aspects of healthy and enjoyable sex is the ability to communicate with your partner. Whether youre having a quick and dirty hookup in a bar bathroom or looking to spice things up with your life partner, communication is key, especially for sex and fun in the bedroom (or wherever youre up to naughtiness and sexy times). This book has some tips and techniques to improve your cunnilingus skills and to educate you on vulvar anatomy, but it also includes fun activities and ideas to increase communication and even intimacy in your partnerships. The more you communicate, the more your wants and needs are expressed, the more you can understand the wants and needs of your partner, and the better the sex is overall.
So enjoy this book. You can read it from beginning to end, section by section, or stick your finger in, close your eyes, and just go with the flow (dont try this with a vulva most vulvas appreciate a little direction and not so much guesswork). Take the parts that are relevant to you and your current or potential partners, and leave the rest. Should you need it in the future, the information will always be there.
What Is Cunnilingus?
There are lots of slang terms for cunnilingus, including going down, dining downtown, eating out, carpet munching, muff diving, dining at the Y, clam digging, having a box lunch (which is a true favorite!), and enjoying the breakfast of champions. Whatever you call it, cunnilingus is the oral (mouth) stimulation of the entire vulva (clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening).
The idea of getting naked and going down on someone can be nerveracking for anyone. But once the tongue gets going, most people enjoy cunnilingus immensely, both the act of giving and, of course, receiving. Lets look at some of the reasons why!
Why Many People Might Enjoy Receiving Cunnilingus
It can feel REALLY good physically, sexually, and mentally.
Cunnilingus can be incredibly intimate for some people, helping them feel more grounded and connected with their partner.
For some people, cunnilingus is the only way that they can achieve orgasm with a partner.
For other people, cunnilingus before, during, or after other sexual activities can boost their libido and endorphins, making their experiences feel even better and sexier.
Some receivers find receiving cunnilingus to be a very sexy or powerful act.
Cunnilingus can provide a different sensation than fingers, a vibrator, intercourse, or other activities might. Each person likes different types of stimulation, and this might be the one that really gets their heart pounding.
The receiver of cunnilingus has significantly more control over the types and locations of sensations that theyre receiving by moving their hips around to get the tongue to their sweet spot.
The person receiving cunnilingus can relax and focus on getting pleasure from their partner, rather than feel as if they need to be giving pleasure at the same time. This relaxation can help many folks reach orgasm if stress was a roadblock before.
Why Many People Might Enjoy Giving Cunnilingus
It feels REALLY good to give your partner pleasure, and since so many people enjoy receiving cunnilingus, this is an easy way to provide direct pleasure to the person youre with.
Cunnilingus can be incredibly intimate for some people, helping them feel more grounded and connected with their partner, whether theyre the giver or the receiver.
The giver can focus on giving pleasure and not be worried about their own orgasm, erection, lubrication. All they need to do is focus on their partner.
The offering of cunnilingus can be used as part of power play, either as a reward or as a nice, long, drawn-out tease to get someone really turned on.
Most people love helping their partner orgasm, and cunnilingus is a great way to do this. While not everyone loves cunnilingus or can achieve orgasm from it, many people find it to be the best way for them to orgasm or to get them turned on for other sexual adventures.
Cunnilingus can be a great way to relax your body while providing pleasure to your partner.
So with all of these absolutely fabulous reasons to give and get cunnilingus, why the heck would anyone not be lined up for dinner at the Y?
With the caveat that some people just plain dont like receiving oral sex, and thats 100 percent OK to each their own lets talk about some reasons that cunnilingus may seem mysterious, difficult, or even weird to some people.
First, there are a lot of myths around the vagina, the vulva, and cunnilingus. Ill be talking about the anatomy of the vulva a little bit later, but for now, lets get started with some myth busting.
A NOTE ON GENDER: The spectrum of sexuality is huge and rarely discussed. A variety of gender identities encompass people as a whole. Not all women-identified people have a vulva, and not everyone with a vulva identifies as a woman. Throughout this book, Ill be using the term woman and the pronouns she, her, and hers for ease of reading. But its important to keep in mind that anyone with a vulva can enjoy cunnilingus and that not everyone with a vulva uses feminine pronouns.
