Richard Benson - Mums Wit: Quips And Quotes For Marvellous Mothers

Nothing beats
having this beautiful
child look at me
and say, mum.

Nicole Appleton

Never being number one in your list
of priorities and not minding at all.

Jasmine Guinness

Its the biggest on-the-job training
program in existence today.

Erma Bombeck

Mothers speak the same
tongue. A mother in Manchuria
could converse with a mother in
Nebraska and never miss a word.

Will Rogers

I understood once I held a
baby in my arms, why some
people keep having them.

Spalding Gray

It is to decide forever to
have your heart go walking
around outside your body.

Elizabeth Stone

Having someone else
to blame when there is
a rude smell in the air.

Jane Horrocks

Nothing will ever make you as
happy or sad, as proud or as tired.

Elia Parsons, The Mothers Almanac

It intensifies who you are, but also
forces you to stretch and go beyond
anything you thought possible.

Felicity Huffman

I want to make a better world
thats motherhood.

Cass Elliot

in our law books Mother was
believed to have been so basic that
no definition was deemed necessary.

Marianne O. Battani

Pride is one of the seven deadly
sins; but it cannot be the pride of
a mother in her children, for that
is a compound of two cardinal
virtues faith and hope.

Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby

Motherhood is
perhaps the only
unpaid position where
failure to show up
can result in arrest.

Mary Kay Blakely, American Mom

A TWINKLE IN THE EYE

Theres a time when
you have to explain
to children why
theyre born, and its
a marvellous thing if
you know by then.

Hazel Scott

Familiarity breeds contempt
and children.

Mark Twain

Sometimes when I look at all my
children, I say to myself, Lillian,
you should have stayed a virgin.

Lillian Carter

I rely on my personality
for birth control.

Liz Winston

Women who miscalculate
are called mothers.

Abigail Van Buren

Next time Im not just having
an epidural for the birth Im
having one for the conception.

Sally James

I like trying to get pregnant. Im
not so sure about childbirth.

George Eliot

My husband and I
cant decide whether
to ruin our carpet
or ruin our lives.

Rita Rudner on the choice between
having a dog or a baby

A WOMB WITH A VIEW

I studied pregnancy
symptoms moody,
big bosoms, irritable.
Ive obviously
been pregnant for
twenty years.

Victoria Wood

If pregnancy were a book they would
cut out the last two chapters.

Nora Ephron

Life is tough enough without having
someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner