Elliott J. Anderson - Answers in Abundance: A Miraculous Adoption Journey as Told from a Fathers Heart

A Miraculous Adoption Journey

as Told from a Fathers Heart

ELLIOTT J. ANDERSON

New York

Answers In Abundance
2007 Elliott J. Anderson. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from author or publisher (except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages and/or show brief video clips in a review).

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-60037-232-2
Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-60037-233-9

Published by:

Morgan James Publishing, LLC
1225 Franklin Ave. Ste 325
Garden City NY 11530-1693
Toll Free 800-485-4943
www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

Cover & Interior Design by:

Paper Tower Inc
www.papertower.com

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND PREFACE

T his is not intended to be a self-help book on adoption. The road to adoption is so unique that no two adoption experiences could ever be the same. Nor is it a book on conception strategies. The fact that my wife and I conceived two biological girls after adopting identical twin boys is no guarantee that pattern will work for other couples. There is no statistical evidence that adoption leads to conception.

I wrote this book for four specific reasons. First, it was a therapeutic experience. As I typed the words into the computer keyboard throughout 2001, there were many times that I processedfor the first timethe events of the past decade, and fully understood their significance in my life. After the magazine, Adoptive Families published my article on what to do when an adoption placement fails, a fire for writing this story was ignited.

Second, I wrote this book because so many of my friends, family, and colleagues suggested it. So during Christmas break 2000, long before our daughters were born, I began the writing.

As I finished a few pages and passed them around to friends for critique, I was greatly encouraged by their positive remarks.

I want in particular to say thanks to my sister, Karin, who offered valuable initial feedback and crucial ending editing. Thanks to my brother-in-law, Brock, for his tech, graphics, and layout skills, and the opportunity for me to be an older brother these last 20 years! Thanks to Linda Cain for her suggestions and adjustments in the initial draft; thanks to Cathy Peterson for clarity and precision in the second draft; thanks to my brother, Warren, for his analysis of the book-at-large; thanks to Tim and Laura Perry for believing in this vision and coordinating Gods hands and feet to Morgan James Publishing; and thanks to Simon Anderson, my father and the primary editor for every draft; and to both my parents for being the life encouragers, motivators, and financial supporters of this project and all other projects in the lives of their children!

Third, I wrote this book for the thousands of couples who have not yet conceived, and possibly may never have children biologically My hope is that our story might encourage and persuade them to consider adoption as a possible option in their desire to parent. Angie and I are now strong advocates for adoption. It is a glorious and wonderful event. Its also an all-consuming and unpredictable emotional journey.

Fourth, I wrote this book to throw a beam of light on a masculine awakening, one that moved me into a profoundly different view of marriage and family life and, eventually, a career! Without any loss of my sports passion and competitive nature, I have become more sensitive, open, and vulnerable. I am glad that I spent the decade-long experience described in this book, though I would not want to repeat it! Im a differenta more completehusband, father, friend, and pastor.

To my beloved wife, Angie, who put her heart on the line for our two sons and then her life on the line for our two daughters; and who daily gives them and me all that she has in order to live out our dream of a complete family, I say thank you and I love you forever.

To our birthparents, Matt and Milli, who placed the precious gifts of their children into our hearts and our hands: You will always be a part of our family, and we will eagerly honor our commitment of an open relationship and will raise Eliah and Jacob with the love and sacrifice that matches what you did for us.

Finally, sincere thanks to all who stood by us during this journeyto all the friends we love and who know that we love them. And in particular, to Peggy Masching, Kay Currie, Lea Anderson, Phyllis Blizzard, and to our three immediate and extended families, the Elgin Evangelical Free Church; Calvary Baptist Church and Judson College.

Elliott J. Anderson

I. THE PROBLEM AND THE PRAYER

METRA TRAIN IN ELGIN

CHAPTER 1

Metra Messenger

I t was a ripped and dirty seat in the last car of the ice-cold Metra commuter train, but it was the only one that was without another passenger in it, so I sat down and shivered. I quickly placed my backpack and my bag next to me to discourage any other last-minute riders from joining me. I held on to my shiny new plaque that announced my induction into my high school athletic hall-of-fame, and as the train pulled and jerked into motion, spontaneous tears began to slide down my cheeks.

They werent tears of pride or happiness. Instead they were another uncontrollable and sudden release of my souls sadness and emptiness due to the inability of my wife and me to conceive children for almost a decade. I leaned my head back on the uncomfortable metal bar that doubled as a headrest and dozed in and out of prayer and self-pity.

I dont know how long I was in that state, but I do know what woke me up. WHACK! Out of nowhere, I was hit in the back of the head with something that felt like a blunt weapon. Before I could stumble to consciousness it happened again, WHACK! I lurched forward and shot a quick glance over my shoulder as I raised my arms over my head in fear and confusion, sure that I was being mugged by some street hoodlums or gang bangers.

To my utter astonishment, the hostile attacker was a toothless, gum-smiling, middle-aged bag woman with about six sweaters on. A tattered old ball cap rested loosely on tangled and unwashed wavy, brown hair. Her right hand held a tightly rolled-up Chicago Sun-Times. She saw my look of horror and amazement and happily countered with, How ya doing, honey? Before I responded, I looked around to gain some context and composure and noticed that several other passengers were looking on with shock and amusement. Howya doing, honey? she repeated again, as if her head-smacking greeting was a normal form of introduction.

Fine, until you hit me on the head twice, I offered nervously. Why did you do that? I asked.

I just wanted to see how you were doing, she replied, sitting down in the seat behind me where I assume shed been for the duration of the trip from Chicagos Union Station.