Bethanee Syversen - Mustard Seed Faith: A Journey through Infertility, Miscarriages, Adoption, and Faith

M USTARD S EED F AITH

M USTARD S EED F AITH

A Journey through Infertility,

Miscarriages, Adoption, and Faith

Bethanee R. Syversen

2019 Bethanee R. Syversen

Mustard Seed Faith

A Journey through Infertility, Miscarriages, Adoption, and Faith

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Scripture quotations marked AMP are from the Amplified Bible. Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version). Copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NCV are from the New Century Version. 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NIRV are from the Holy Bible, New International Readers Version, NIRV. Copyright 1995, 1996, 1998, 2014 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIRV and New International Readers Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019934240

ISBN 978-1-400325337 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-400325344 (Hardbound)

ISBN 978-1-400325351 (eBook)

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C ONTENTS

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to God, my Lord and Savior. Thank You for faithfully walking alongside me and for carrying me through the times I felt I couldnt walk myself. Your unwavering love and pursuit of me bring me to my knees in reverence, prayer, and thanksgiving.

I also dedicate this book to my husband, Jason, who stood with me through every dashed hope, every failed IUI and IVF, through seven miscarriages, and through nearly four long, hard years trying to adopt. Without you, my love, I would have surely drowned in my own tears and sorrow. Without you, I wouldve given up many times. Your willingness to undergo fourteen years of hardship alongside me was such a gift and a blessing to me! You have been my rockalways.

To the many friends and family members who encouraged me to do this project. Without your kind words and without your encouragement, I probably would not have written this book.

Finally, to my content editor, Beth Graybill. Thank you for your kindness and your talent in helping me to focus in on the story and not get lost in the dizzying details. Thank you for pulling my story together to adequately tell Gods story succinctly. Thank you to my graphic designer, Kayleigh McCann, to my friend, and proof editor, Jill Jones, and my photographer Erica Richard Photography

Thank you.

This book is written out of my heart and my desire to show Gods faithfulness and sovereignty. My heart is to encourage people facing struggles of any kind. Although we face struggles in this life, that does not mean God is not right there, by our side, holding our hand. Sometimes Hes even carrying us through the trials. He is so faithful to us. His love for us is far beyond anything we can comprehend and I want to encourage you to hold on.

Part One of this book is the journey of our infertility struggles. Part Two is the journey of our adoption process. Most of our adoption journey is pulled from my blog posts, as they most adequately convey the story and emotions as the events unfolded. These blog posts made way for this book, with the encouragement of many friends and family members.

Love at first sight. Okay, maybe not first sight, but pretty darn close.

I knew it. I knew Jason was the one. Now I just had to wait for him to know it. It took only two weeks for me to profess my love and declare, I already know we will be married someday. I know youre the man Im going to marry. Sure, he may have stood there in shock, but I was not moved by that. I knew it. In fact, so did his father.

His father is a stoic man. One Sunday afternoon at church, while I was sitting three rows ahead of him and his family, Jasons father pointed me out to his wife and Jasons brother and made his own declaration. He stated, very matter-of-factly, Do you see that young lady up there, the one with the blonde hair? Jasons going to marry her someday.

Yes, he said it... three months before any of us even met. I had just moved to Maine from Louisiana. I was new in town and new at the church. No one knew me. But that day, my soon-to-be father-in-law declared that I would someday marry his son.

Fast forward three months. A woman I didnt know walked up to me abruptly and eagerly at church one Sunday. She introduced herself by name and asked if Id come back to where she was sitting. Cautiously I agreed (stranger-danger was racing through my mind, but we were in church after all). I followed her to the back and she introduced me to her son, Jason.

Jason, this is Bethanee. Bethanee, this is Jason. Bethanee, whats your phone number?

As if in a trance, I rattled off my number. I think I was in shock. I dont normally make a habit of handing out my number to random strangers. However, this day I did. She was a kind and likeable woman after all, right? Awkward. Now what? I politely shook Jasons hand, smiled, timidly laughed, then excused myself back to my seat. That was the awkward introduction.

A few days later, on Christmas Eve of 1996 during the evening church service, Jason walked up to me and reintroduced himself. He shook my hand and apologized for the awkward beginning we had a few weeks earlier. This was the first time we spoke to one another without the awkward (but thankful) introduction of a parent.

Not long after that, we began talking on the phone and commuting to college together. We had a lot of late-night conversationsdiscussing everything from family to politics to education, and so much more. We discovered that we both longed to marry a person who wanted a large family, and also wanted to adopt. Jason and I both come from small families, and we both longed for additional siblings, including the camaraderie and the chaos. My extended family is very large so I had experienced what that felt like as a kid, and I wanted that for my own future family too. Jasons family was small, and he felt the same way. Neither of us had been exposed to adoption in our families and had no reason to long for the idea. But, as we discovered, we both independently longed to be adoptive parents. God was already beginning to paint a beautiful picture for our future livesa picture we had no idea was in the works.