Mark S. Negley - Survive – Alive – Thrive: Navigating the Journey from Loss to Hope to Happiness

Survive Alive Thrive

Navigating the Journey from Loss to Hope to Happiness

Mark S. Negley

Foreword by Dr. M. Melyn Galbreath, PMHNP-BC

Survive-Alive-Thrive: Navigating the Journey from Loss to Hope to Happiness

Copyright 2021 by Mark S. Negley

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV, Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Published by Forefront Books

Cover Design by Bruce Gore, Gore Studio Inc.

Interior Design by Bill Kersey, KerseyGraphics

ISBN: 978-1-948-67775-2

ISBN: 978-1-948-67776-9 (eBook)

I N MEMORY OF MY LATE wife, Victoria. You are a beautiful soul who gave so much of yourself to those you loved. Your care and compassion as a wife and mother inspired and awed me every day. I will always remember the laughter we shared and celebrate the fact that you are resting happily in the loving arms of the Lord.

To my son, Andersen, I am proud of the man you are and all that you have overcome. You have inspired me to share our journey to help others find the joy we have been blessed to discover along the way.

For those who have struggled or are currently struggling with loss, this is for you. You are not alone.

W HEN I FIRST MET MARK it was clear he was different. Warm and charismatic, his sense of humor and love of life were evident. I liked him immediately. On that first encounter we shared life-story snapshots and how our journeys had led us to the Nashville area. As the conversation progressed, I was surprised with the comfort and peace he exhibited while opening up about the heartbreaking loss of his wife two and a half years prior. The most interesting aspect of that discussion was the transparency and tenderness with which he recounted what was clearly a traumatic event. Although the sparkle in his eyes remained, tears appeared and the story he shared captivated me both personally and professionally.

As a healthcare professional I have encountered many people who have suffered loss. I work directly with clients who are struggling with psychiatric and mental health challenges as part of my job as a board certified nurse practitioner. My career has reinforced the reality that life can be hard, and the toll that loss can take is oftentimes overwhelming. Many are struggling with related emotional pain that paralyzes their ability to move forward and reengage life in a positive way. I can relate to this personally as I experienced the painful loss of my father to alcoholism while in my early thirties. While that was a hard time for me, it also inspired me to be particularly sensitive and empathetic to the challenges related to loss.

Marks mission related to Survive-Alive-Thrive was compelling to me on several levels. I was inspired by the fact he was engaged, immersed really, in a quest to provide others with insights and strategies to help navigate their journey through loss and emotional brokenness. In the spirit of full transparency, that interest led us into a dating relationship, and a year and a half later we were married. Thus, I am writing this foreword about the work of a man who is now my husband. While I may have an understandable bias, I am compelled to encourage you to take your time with this book both from professional and personal perspectives. It is my belief it will help you as it has me.

To put this in context, six short weeks after our wedding we received an early morning call from the emergency room. My mother, 85 years old, had suffered a terrible fall in the middle of the night. After being transported by helicopter to Vanderbilt Hospital, the severity of her injuries left us with a dire diagnosis. As we were well into the COVID-19 pandemic, we had limited options beyond emergency care. Exceeding her doctors expectations, Mom was regaining cognitive function and within a few days we had a decision to make. A window had opened for her transfer and we elected to move her from the hospital into our newlywed home to be supported by hospice care. Six days later, she passed away in our guest bedroom.

In the chaos I found peace in the ability to be by her side and provide love and support. I was intimately involved with her care, coordinated family visits, and found peace in the fact she was surrounded by those she loved. In a series of unexpected blessings, as the family matriarch Mom was able to give poignant gifts of love and support while also providing directions and instructions we were expected to follow. (That was so Mom!) It remains a source of comfort that just weeks prior my mother had been able to attend our home-based wedding in the same home in which she passed, a gift for which I remain grateful.

As you may know, hospice is a 24-hour commitment and can be exhausting. During that time, Mark and I shared many deep and intimate conversations related to what we were facing. Losing my mother was painful for me, and we spent many hours talking through our current situation and exploring insights gained from his journey and from those shared by others. Those talks were essentially a walk through the foundations of this book. In another example of Gods perfect timing, the years Mark had invested writing and developing the Survive-Alive-Thrive model were enormously helpful to me when I needed it most. In the same way, it is my hope and prayer that his book will serve to help you navigate your journey through loss on the way to finding hope, healing, and a joy-filled life.

From a mental health caregiver perspective, I would like to encourage you to lean in and carefully consider many of the healthy steps shared throughout the Survive, Alive, and Thrive chapters in section 2. There are many valuable recommendations related to healthy living including eating well, exercising, maintaining sleep routines, and personal organization. Such steps are important for maintaining ongoing good mental health and are particularly critical when going through the trauma of a personal loss.

As someone who has been through loss, its my hope you will also be inspired to embrace your family, to forgive and accept forgiveness, and to reach out to those who need your support. Relationships are so crucial in times of loss that now is the time to be intentional about making friends, developing a meaningful social circle, and being a good friend to others. Dont wait. We all enjoy life more fully when its shared with others, and those relationships are invaluable when we need them the most.