Wendy Terrie Behary LCSW - Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, is founder and clinical director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and a faculty member at the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York. She is also a distinguished founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She maintains a private practice, specializing in narcissism and highconflict couples therapy.

Foreword writer Jeffrey Young, PhD, is the author of Schema Therapy: a Practitioners Guide and founder/director of the Schema Therapy Institute Schema Therapy Institute of New York.

Preface writer Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is the author of The Mindful Brain and an associate clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine Center for Human Development.

Wendy Behary has dedicated decades to understanding narcissism, both as a clinician and a scholar. In Disarming the Narcissist, she distills these hardwon insights into a very readable form. This book is a terrific resource for those looking to better understand narcissism.

W. Keith Campbell, PhD, professor in the department of psychology at the University of Georgia and author of The Narcissism Epidemic

Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will be well-advised to read Wendy Beharys book and heed her advice. Disarming the Narcissist offers sound suggestions and keen insightsa breakthrough in one of psychologys toughest cases.

Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

This is a timely and important book. Behary offers a uniquely well-articulated exploration of the complexities of living with a narcissist, conveyed in a clear and elegant writing style. Disarming the Narcissist provides a treasure of insightful observations and strategies to help those working or living with a narcissist. Beharys wisdom and warm humanity, together with her wide understanding and successful integration of interpersonal neurobiology and schema therapy, provides a fresh perspective that will help the reader make sense of relationships that often seem so confusing and give them tools to do something about it. I recommend this book heartily.

Marion F. Solomon, PhD, author of Narcissism and Intimacy and Lean on Me

...a valuable contribution to the growing self-help literature on the fascinating subject of narcissism. Behary takes the reader step-by-step through a process of understanding our personal triggers to the wounding inherent in narcissistic relations and then lays out a pathway for personal empowerment and change.

Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, author of Why Is It Always About You?

For the practicing clinician there is perhaps no other group of clients more difficult to work with or that generates more fear and feelings of inadequacy than narcissists. In Disarming the Narcissist, Behary has provided both the theoretical knowledge and practical advice necessary for clinicians to understand, empathize and, thus, help this challenging group of clients and their partners. Her disarmingly straightforward, accessible style and impressive clinical experience make this a very valuable book indeed.

William M. Zangwill, PhD, director of EMDR Associates

Behary is an exceptionally perceptive, compassionate, and creative clinician and an outstanding teacher. I have always found her immersed at the cutting edge of clinical science and practice. It has been both a privilege and an inspiration to watch her vision and clinical contributions evolve. These remarkable qualities are clearly evident in her new book, which I have no doubt will make a major contribution. It will bring anyone who deals with narcissism fully up to date with the latest our field has to offer, articulated in clear, poignant, and practical terms.

George Lockwood, PhD, director of the Schema Therapy Institute Midwest in Kalamazoo, MI

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Eighteen Early Maladaptive Schemas 2003 Jeffrey Young, PhD. Unauthorized reproduction without the written consent of the author is prohibited.

Copyright 2013 by Wendy Behary

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes;

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer; Edited by Jasmine Star

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Behary, Wendy T.

Disarming the narcissist : surviving and thriving with the self-absorbed / Wendy T. Behary, LCSW. -- Second edition.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-760-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-761-9 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-762-6 (epub) 1. Narcissism. 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.

BF575.N35B44 2013

158.2--dc23

2013014290

This book is dedicated to the memory of my Poppy, Norbert V. Terriea true knight, a loving and generous man, my father.