This book is for anyone who cares about, or is close to, separated parents and their children.
Parents, grandparents, relatives, guardians, caregivers, friends, counselors, and educators all can help to bring much needed stability and guidance into the lives of exes and their children using these Principles and Steps.
PARENT
WARS
Dealing With An Ex
To Build Emotionally
Healthy Kids
Dr. Donald R. Partridge
PARENT WARS
Dealing With An Ex
To Build Emotionally Healthy Kids
Dr. Donald R. Partridge
Pear Publishing, Inc.
Post Office Box 10092
Pleasanton, CA 94588-2747
Website: www.pearpublishing.net
E-mail:
Copyright 2015 by Donald R. Partridge. All rights reserved.
ISBN-10 (Print version): 1-940824-04-4
ISBN-13 (Print version): 978-1-940824-04-8
(ePUB version): 978-1-940824-01-7
(ePDF version): 978-1-940824-02-4
Library of Congress Control Number: 2014912614
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
The use of book excerpts in published reviews is permitted. Any other use of this book requires the permission of the publisher. For more information, please contact Pear Publishing, Inc. at .
First Edition 2015. Printed and bound in the United States of America.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Cover design: Bo Lane, Vancouver, WA
Interior Book Design: One-on-One Book Production, West Hills, CA
Illustrations: Designior, Pleasanton, CA
Disclaimer: G. Miller Hogan II, J.D., Nashville, TN
Author photo: Clyde Brewster, Pleasanton, CA
To my daughter and son
DISCLAIMER
This is my story. The events described in this book are my version and my beliefs about the events that have taken place in my life and in the lives of my children and my ex-wife. I have made every effort to be as accurate as possible, but also know that with the emotions and complexities of separation and divorce different participants may perceive the events described herein differently. There are two sides to every issue and in this book I am only representing my own response to the events that I describe. My ex-wife, her second husband, and the other persons who are mentioned (but not named) in this book may have different responses. I am only able to relate my perspective and my interpretation of those events. It is my intent to recount the facts as I recall them and my own personal emotions and feelings in reaction to those events.
The events described in this book are included solely for the purpose of providing the reader with the context necessary to examine and contemplate the effects that Parent Wars have on children who experience parent separation.
Apart from the authors personal stories in this book, the additional stories, anecdotes, and narratives are compilations of multiple stories the author has collected over the past twenty years, or, stories heard repeatedly by the authoreach story coming with its own setting, gender, and age. Therefore, regarding the additional stories, no one particular story can be attributable to any one specific individual or family.
Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering medical, psychological, or any other kind of personal or professional services or therapy. Readers should consult their own medical, psychological, or other competent professional before adopting any of the concepts in this book or drawing inferences from it. The content of this book is general, whereas each readers situation is unique. Therefore, as with all books of this nature, the purpose is to provide general information rather than address individual situations.
The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of the contents of this book.
CONTENTS
Abuse in any form is never tolerated. The Principles and Steps discussed in this book in no way suggest that parents or children are ever to be placed in harms way.
PART 1: TRAUMA
The progressive hollowing out of our daughter through our Parent Wars
How my ex and I took our innocent young daughter and destroyed her emotionally, making it impossible for her to make good decisions, forcing her into years of self-destructive behaviors
PART 2: TRANSITION
The introduction of some life-changing, revolutionary Principles and Steps that will alter the ways to deal with an exresulting in incredible emotional health for kids
PART 3: TRIUMPH
The incredible restoration of my daughter to making good decisions, to healthy behaviors, and to emotional stability
The progressive hollowing out of our daughter through our Parent Wars
How my ex and I took our innocent young daughter and destroyed her emotionally, making it impossible for her to make good decisions, forcing her into years of self-destructive behaviors
My phone rang.
I looked to see who was calling and suddenly a black cloud came over me.
It was my ex.
Why was she calling? I hated that woman.
All she said was that our daughter had run away again and that this time nobody knew where she was. Then she hung up.
I sat there stunned, staring at my phone.
So that was it. My poor daughter. Her behavior had been spiraling downhill for yearsdefiant, rebellious, and untamable. She had run away before but nothing like this. She had finally hit bottom. My fifteen-year-old was now completely gone.
I blamed her mother.
Years earlier, my ex left our marriage saying to me that she wanted to discover a new life for herself and new relationships.
I was convinced she had little regard for our children, believing she was ignoring the emotional damage she was causing them by her choice of lifestyle.
Back then I couldnt just stand there and let my kids think their mothers behavior was acceptableso I fought back. I taught my children to oppose their mother. I wanted them to know the truth about her. I wanted them to object to her behavior. I wanted them to favor loyalty and faithfulness. I wanted them to favor me.
But their mother also vigorously opposed me.
It was too much for my kids, causing them serious emotional problems, especially my daughter.
I hated everything about my ex.
I hated everything about my ex.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Is there anything in this story that you might identify with?
Once separation occurs, everythingand it seems like everyonechanges. Everyone is affected, especially the kids.