Lara Lillibridge - Mama, Mama, Only Mama: An Irreverent Guide for the Newly Single Parent—From Divorce and Dating to Cooking and Crafting, All While Raising the Kids and Maintaining Your Own Sanity (Sort Of)

Praise for Mama, Mama, Only Mama

Lara Lillibridges memoir, Mama, Mama, Only Mama , is a raw, honest, and very relatable tale of motherhood. I laughed, I cried, I shook my fist in solidarity. All moms out there need to read this one, even if your kids are grown or still in egg form. You wont regret it!

Whitney Dineen, author of Motherhood, Martyrdom & Costco Runs

Mama, Mama, Only Mama is engaging, relatable, and addictive. All sorts of parents will love this unforgettable memoir. Since Im the sort that enjoys belly laughs, its the perfect fit.

Terri Libenson, syndicated cartoonist of The Pajama Diaries and bestselling author of Invisible Emmie and Positively Izzy

Mama, Mama, Only Mama is hilarious, achingly real, and one of those books that will end up being passed around the carpool line. Youll crack up, youll relate, youll wish you could hang out at Lara Lillibridges house on Saturday afternoons.

Lisa Daily, bestselling author of Single-Minded

A delicious, open-hearted, delightful collection.

Erin Judge, stand-up comedian and author of Vow of Celibacy

An absolute must for single parents, at any stage. Lara Lillibridges memoir, Mama, Mama, Only Mama , is hilarious, sweet, and hopeful. As a single mum myself, I could relate to almost every wordeach page gave me strength, made me laugh and cry, and reminded me of what is important.

Shannon Leone Fowler, author of Traveling with Ghosts

Real, raw and ridiculously funnyLara is the unabashedly honest mum weve all been waiting for.

Amy Baker, author of Miss-Adventures: A Tale of Ignoring Life Advice While Backpacking Around South America

Copyright 2019 by Lara Lillibridge

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, whether electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other kind, without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Lillibridge, Lara, author.

Title: Mama, mama, only mama: an irreverent guide for the newly single parentfrom divorce and dating to cooking and crafting, all while raising the kids and maintaining your own sanity (sort of) / Lara Lillibridge.

Description: New York, New York: Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2018033664 (print) | LCCN 2018037244 (ebook) | ISBN 9781510743571 (eBook) | ISBN 9781510743564 (hardcover: alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Lillibridge, Lara. | Single mothers. | Parenting. | Children of divorced parents.

Classification: LCC HQ759.915 (ebook) | LCC HQ759.915 .L55 2019 (print) | DDC 306.874/32dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018033664

Cover design by Mona Lin

Cover photo by iStockphoto

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-4356-4

eBook ISBN: 978-1-5107-4357-1

Printed in China

For L. and R.,

the real-life Big and Tiny Pants

(No, youre not old enough to read it yet.)

Disclaimer: Im not a chef. Im not entirely sure what I do counts as cooking. What my family likes is not necessarily what your family likes, and as you will read, my family doesnt even like all the recipes contained herein. Proceed at your own risk: push up your sleeves, use oven mitts accordingly, and it never hurts to keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Excruciatingly Long Table of Contents

(Im not kidding)

PART ONE

THE DISSOLUTION OF OUR MARRIAGE

Step Stools

Everyone wants to know why my marriage ended. Its a natural curiosity, I suppose, but its not a question I want to answer. Theres the easy answer, and the hard answer. Easy answers are all about what he or I did or didnt do, but they always end with, yeah, but couldnt you have tried harder?

Then theres the hard answer, which takes time to understand in my own head and longer still to codify for everyone else. Still, I should have an answer. Whether others find it satisfying or not is irrelevant.

To say why my marriage failed, I have to first talk about a pair of step stools of the same approximate size and shape. One is pale green, the color of a tulip stem. Made of lightweight, molded plastic, its design is clean, simple, functional. As far as step stools go, it is perfectly adequate. The other step stool is old wood, long ago painted red but now covered with paint splatter from other peoples projects and also a few of my own. I cannot tell you why I had to buy it at that garage sale last summer, the one we walked to around the corner, where my youngest child bought a mini tape recorder and I found so many things that pleased me that I left with my arms overflowing. The red step stool was only one dollar, but I would have paid five or even ten dollars for it, even though I already had a perfectly adequate step stool at home. I couldnt live with new molded plastic once I found old wood painted red and worn in spots by years of other childrens feet.

My ex-husband is a good man, but he will always choose the pale green step stool the color of tulip stems and our cats eyes. When he looks at the old red wood stool, he sees only junk past its prime and destined for the garbage heap. When I look at the green plastic one, I see only cheap, prefabricated function-over-form nonsense. I told him when we met that I liked the plastic one better, that I wanted new and clean and functional, and I wanted to want that, I really did. But I woke up one day and saw that there was no old paint-splattered wood anywhere and I couldnt live like that anymore. There was no room for worn-down red in our fresh, new, and functional tract home filled with soft beige and ivory and a dash of pale blue.

My ex-husband will tell you that one day I woke up and had gone crazy, and nothing worked right after that no matter how hard he tried. His version is also true. What can you say to someone who sees old paint-splattered wood as junk without sounding crazy? How can you live without old wood and not become crazy?

When I go to my ex-husbands house nowthe one we bought and furnished togetherlittle has changed in the five years since I left. I left no lasting impression; I painted no walls, hung no art. Thats not true. I sewed the throw pillows on the couch. I hung the posters in the playroom, the ones his sister sent. But what I did was so anonymous and bland it could have been done by anyone. I cant believe I ever lived like that. When my ex comes to my housethe one I have lived in for the last five yearsit is overflowing with chaos and toy splatter and half-finished projects. He cant imagine anyone would want to live like this.