Beau Norton - 6 Simple Steps to Permanently Overcome Social Anxiety & Low Self-Esteem

Re-wire your brain for happiness. Zero effort required . Just sit back and listen to these 250 affirmations on audio, professionally designed with brainwave entrainment technology and soothing background music for deep relaxation and rapid positive mental programming. Change your thoughts, change your life. Enjoy :)

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For most of my life I dealt with severe social anxiety and low self-esteem, so what I have to share with you in this short guide comes from a whole lot of personal experience. While I cannot possibly offer everything there is to know about overcoming these internal issues, I can simplify everything down into some practical steps that can take you far if you just keep them in your mind and heart as you go through your life.

What I've found on my journey is that simplicity is key. There is a tendency to believe that since our problems have been with us for so long, the solution to them must be complex and/or difficult to implement. From my own experience, I can confidently say that the real reason we have not been able to find a solution to our problems is because the solutions are so simple that we completely overlook them. Just because something sounds simple does not mean it is not effective. Keep that in mind as you read the rest of this guide.

Step #1. Own it as self-created.

First of all, we must stop projecting our problems onto the outside world and believing that something else is "causing" us to feel a certain way. For example, if you are lonely, you might think the 'cause' is you not having any close relationships with others. Most people will seek a relationship to solve their loneliness but this is not a permanent solution because the core issue has not been addressed, and that core issue lies WITHIN YOU, not in any hoped-for person, situation, or circumstance.

Owning FULL responsibility for our problems is the first essential step to overcoming them. This is owning our power to create our lives rather than being the victim of outside forces.

At first, you might feel bad about owning responsibility for your problems because that means you have made mistakes, perhaps a lot of them. But actually, this is a reason to celebrate! Why? Because if you created your problems by yourself alone, that means you alone can create solutions to those problems! You are in control! That is good news, my friend.

Step #2: Develop a non-attached perspective.

What so many of us do is use our emotions as self-definitions. For example, if you experience a lot of anxiety, you probably define yourself as "an anxious person." This is a vicious trap, because when you define yourself in this way, you are telling your brain to seek out "proof" for why this is true. Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you are an anxious person, that is what you will be, no matter how much your circumstances change for the better. The only solution to this is to begin developing a non-attached perspective.

It is extremely important to recognize that your thoughts and emotions are not the real 'you'. This becomes very obvious when you think about it in a rational way... you experience your thoughts and emotions, so therefore you must be separate from them. If you were not separate, you would have no way to experience them. A good analogy is that sound cannot be heard without the backdrop of silence. Likewise, thoughts and emotions cannot be experienced without the backdrop of your true self, which is silent and simply 'aware' of what is going on.

Developing this non-attached perspective is absolutely crucial if you want to overcome ALL your internal fears and resistances. It is simply a matter of practice. Instead of getting lost in your emotions and the stories in your mind, step back for one moment and ask yourself, "who or what is it that is witnessing these thoughts and emotions?" Just asking the question will direct you to the truth, that you are not who you believe yourself to be but rather the witness of everything, aware but unaffected.

When you get to know your 'real self' you start to feel at peace because your real self is not dependent on any thoughts or emotions. It doesn't need them. It is complete, whole, and perfect, in need of nothing at all. It is like silence. When you start to identify with the silence rather than the noise, your life becomes a whole lot more pleasant.

Step #3: Break attachments and aversions.

The mind believes that it "needs" certain things in order to be happy. It also believes that is must avoid certain things in order to remain happy. These two deeply held beliefs create what we might call "attractions" and "aversions" and most of our entire life is spent in constant fluctuation between these 2 extremes of fear and desire. This is an error of perception that happens in almost everyone, except those who are very evolved. The mind naturally looks outward for solutions. This is a basic survival mechanism, but it also creates confusion and unhappiness in our lives.

The Buddha said that the root of unhappiness was desire. When we desire something, we simultaneously fear that we will not receive what we desire, and so we live in this constant tug of war, chasing what we want and fearing the opposite. This is what creates all the turmoil in our life.

To escape the suffering, we must break the attachments and aversions by seeing them for what they really are: illusions of perception.

The mind is very deceiving. It is basically programmed to keep us miserable by keeping us seeking for the source of happiness outside of ourselves. The mind desperately craves pleasure, whether through people, things, experiences, drugs, alcohol, risk-taking, or whatever it may be. Notice how the mind is never truly satisfied or at peace for any considerable length of time. Why is this? It is due to an incredibly common misperception, the belief that happiness must be acquired from someone or something else.

Adding more to the misery, the mind also desperately wants to avoid what it fears. This is basic biology at work. It can serve us greatly in rare instances of danger, however, 99% of the time it only serves to keep us locked up in our comfort zones. What is the solution? Can we really begin to overcome our own biology? Absolutely, but it will require you to know a couple things...

The source of happiness is WITHIN.

When you receive something you want, a relationship, money, food, or whatever is important to you in a particular moment of your life, your brain releases dopamine and other chemicals that make you feel good. When we were living in the wild, this served us greatly because it was our motivation to seek for food, sex, comfort, and safety. It kept the species alive. In today's society, however, this same mechanism of the brain that once served us greatly causes us to indulge excessively in behaviors that are simply not good for us.

We mistake pleasure for happiness. Pleasure lasts a brief few moments. Real happiness does not fade because it is not dependent on externals. Real happiness is found within. Pleasure requires seeking outward and therefore leads to several expectations and disappointments. This is the roller coaster of life that so many of us are familiar with.