Dr. Gary Smalley - The Language of Sex: Experiencing the Beauty of Sexual Intimacy

2008 Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Revell edition published 2014

ISBN 978-1-4412-2575-7

Previously published by Regal Books

Ebook edition originally created 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Other versions used are:

ASVThe American Standard Version, Thomas Nelson and Sons, first published in 1901.

THE MESSAGEScripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

SESSION 1
THE FOUNDATIONS OF HONOR AND SECURITY

SESSION 2
CELEBRATE DIFFERENCES AND DISCOVER COMMUNICATION

SESSION 3
FOREPLAY, INTERCOURSE AND CREATIVITY

SESSION 4
THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSIONS OF SEX

SESSION 5
RESOLVING CONFLICT AND GUARDING YOUR MARRIAGE

SESSION 6
ANSWERS TO THE BIGGIES

The Language of Sex Study Guide is designed to be used in conjunction with The Language of Sex book and DVD. Whether you enjoy the study with your spouse, in a small group or as part of a church seminar, we encourage you to share what youre learning with those closest to you! Talk about the questions and Scriptures with your spouse, friends and mentors. As you grow closer to God and your spouse over the course of the study, dont be shy about sharing the good news of what God is doing in your life.

Each section begins with an introduction, followed by some open-ended questions, For Starters, which are designed to get the discussion going. After you complete that section, youll want to watch the DVD to see Gary and Ted share their thoughts and insights on the material. Then its time for Discussion and Study, the main section of each session. Youll want to keep your Bible nearby. There are lots of great Scriptures and questions to reflect on and discuss. Next there will be an easy-to-remember summary called Taking It with You to help you internalize what youve learned, and last youll have the opportunity to put these lessons into practice before the next session by selecting at least one of three options from Putting It into Practice.

Our hope and prayer for you is that God will use this study to awaken your heart for Him and for your spouse. And that youll discover the marriage you never thought possible!

Several years ago, the pastors of our church were meeting at Panera Bread to brainstorm and plan the Song of Songs series we were going to start on the following Sunday morning. We were having a blast and being quite graphic as we followed the text, having more fun than you could possibly imagine with Solomon. We were laughing and quoting and so on. One of our pastors got up to get a refill and met a guy at the coffee center.

The guy asked, What do you guys do for a living?

We are pastors, one of my friends replied.

What church? the guy asked.

Woodland Hills, I responded.

Sounds like my kind of church! the guy responded.

For way too long, the Church has been silent on the issue of sexual intimacy. As a result, many Christians and non-Christians have developed an unhealthy understanding of one of Gods greatest gifts: sex.

Thats why in the upcoming study, were going to give you the tools you need to enjoy the best sex of your life, as well as the marriage youve always hoped for!

Now the key to the best possible sex and marriage is found in the following equation:

What does this equation have to do with the best sex of your life? Honor creates security. Security creates intimacy. And intimacy sets the stage for great sex. The truth is that you cannot have great sexlet alone a healthy relationshipwithout honor and security.

In this session, were going to explore the issues of honor and security and the vital role they play in your marriage and sex life.

When you think of the word honor, what comes to mind?

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In what practical ways do you honor your spouse?

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What are the ways your spouse feels most honored? Are there any differences between the ways you think your spouse feels most honored and the ways your spouse actually feels honored? If so, explain.

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