H.G. Tudor - Horns and Halos

Horns and Halos

By

H G Tudor

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2016

Horns and Halos

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Absorbed

When we seduce you, we want to absorb you. We want to make you part of us. This is because we see you as an extension of ourselves but it is also because we want to ensure that you are isolated and cut-off from any potential threats to our grand design for you. It is also because we want you exposed to those who will only increase and magnify our charm, our magnetism and our attraction. This means we need to expose you to and integrate you within our own networks. Accordingly, where we are the type of narcissist that has a significant social circle and family connections, you will be thrust into their midst very quickly when the seduction has begun. It is akin to taking hold of you, hanging you over a vat of liquid which represents all of our supporters, admirers and adorers and dunking you straight into it ensuring you are wholly covered, utterly subsumed and completely covered. You will be paraded around these various sources of ours in order to extract fuel from their admiration at our latest conquest. Our smearing of your predecessor will mean that that person is rarely mentioned and if they are it will be in terms which are disparaging about them and complimentary about us. That is how our coterie and lieutenants have been conditioned to respond for the purposes of maintaining our glorious appearance. We will draw fuel from all of their complimentary remarks and furthermore we will be able to gather fuel from your delighted reaction at being presented as such a wonderful and perfect person. It amounts to a fuel fest for us. This integration with those who worship us and promote our agenda is a crucial part of how we embed you into our world. You are made to feel special and wanted, liked and involved as you find yourself invited to a family dinner, a christening, a wedding, nights out with our friends, drinks with other friends, an afternoon coffee and so on. So many ways to plug you into our world by using the all obliging members of our faade. This absorption convinces you that we are the real deal. Who in in their right mind would stand against such conviction from so many people? Nobody of course and that is how our magic is woven. You feel so fortunate. Not only have you met the partner of your dreams but our family are so welcoming and friendly, and our friends are delightful. Nobody has a bad word to say about us. Little do you realise that this is almost like a television programme with actors playing the parts of family and friends and the wonderful places and events that we take to you are just scenery that has been created to give the appearance of reality. If you were able to look behind the scenes then you would see one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs, masking tape and spray paint. You will not notice though. We do not allow you sufficient time to take everything in. You are whisked from one thing to another, festooned with compliments, spun around, whirled about and not given any opportunity to consider, reflect or scrutinise. Everything is moving, shining and sparkling in order to distract you. Oh those klaxons are blaring but you cannot hear them for the honey being poured in your mouth. The red flags are flying but there is so much glitter being thrown about by us, so much fairy dust hanging in the air that you are unable to see those scarlet warnings.

We want to draw you into us through ensuring that you are utterly immersed in our supportive and obliging networks. This also means that if you happen to have some kind of concern, perhaps a slight inkling that something is not quite right and you ask one of the many people you have been introduced to, you will receive the party line in response in order to assuage your concern. This absorbing into our world, our band of merry supporters provides you with no chance to resist. Whereas in your past you may have found the mother-in-law to be distant or a brother unwelcoming, friends jealous that their friend now has a new distraction and so forth, all of those potential problems do not exist with us. This is because the few that might know what we are, the handful which may identify that there is something wrong with us even though they may not know exactly what we are, will have been side-lined. They are not allowed to point out that the beautiful world that we have created is one of smoke and mirrors. Their dissenting voices have been silenced, their pointing fingers cut off and they have been bundled away. If you ever ask about them we will either ignore your question or advance an entirely plausible reason why we no longer have anything to do with our brother. As you will recognise by now, it will all be his fault.

You are to be subsumed not only into our identity as we swallow you up to form part of us, a functioning and reliable appliance pumping fuel our way, but you are also woven into the tapestry that is our illusion. Each introduction, each party, each greeting, each pleasant afternoon getting to know members of our coterie is but a further needle stroke as we pass the thread over you and enmesh you into our illusion. Tighter and tighter the thread becomes until you are a complete part of it. Of course, should you eventually realise that you have been woven into a fabrication, the thread will be so tight about you, so complete and so covering that escape is nigh on impossible without the assistance of someone else who is able to cut you free.

The Mid-Range Denial

I am not a narcissist. No, that is not me. I know what one is. I have heard it said about people previously. It is somebody who loves themselves isnt it? Yes, that is what a narcissist is. I dont love myself, far from it. In fact, I am aware of my faults and I try to minimise them. I suppose it is just because I am a very giving person and at times I must go on a bit, it is only because I try to understand people and most of all try to understand myself. I think you have to be honest with yourself dont you before you can be honest with anybody else. I know I talk a lot about myself, you do not need to point that out to me thank you, it is purely because I have so much to give. Whats that? I always have to comment about everything and provide my contribution? Well, I do not see anything wrong in doing that, I am only trying to help people by giving them the benefit of my experience. That isnt being a narcissist is it? I dont love the sound of my own voice. Okay, I may prattle on a bit at times but it is only because I enjoy interacting with people. They seem genuinely interested in what I think and what I have to say. I cannot help it if I form natural connections with people. You say I come across as an expert in everything? Well, I wasnt aware that was the case. I just have happened to experienced lots of things which other people have. I can relate to them you see. I think you are being harsh if you think I make it all about me when I dealing with people. I just tell them what my experience of something has been in order to provide them with my perspective. I am trying to help. I like to help people; it makes me feel better about myself. I dont agree with you that I do not listen. I am an excellent listener. I listen to you all of the time dont I? Yes, I do. You are being unfair by saying that. I do not always have to have my say on everything that has happened. Yes of course I talk about things that have happened to me and I do not make them up. Why on earth would I do that? For attention? That is ridiculous. I dont need attention it just so happens that people are naturally drawn to me. They obviously see a kindred spirit in me and that is why they want to talk to me, to offload to me, to express how they are feeling and seek my opinion. I cannot help but feel that way and if I do say too much it is all because I want to know that I am there for somebody. I see my role as a listener and a helper. How can I be a listener when I talk so much about myself and my own experiences? Do I? I dont think I do. I just relate what has happened to me and offer the listener the benefit of my experience. What do you mean that I just happen to have experienced the exact same thing as that person and that person and that person every time I engage with them? I told you, I connect with people. That is who I am. I have experienced so much and it is my role to pass the benefit of that experience on to others so that they can flourish from it. You think that is rather patronising? Well I am afraid that you would. I do not want to fall out with you. You know me, I do not like confrontation and I would rather resolve matters with somebody than fall out, there is no need for such strife in the world, there is enough without us adding to it.