H.G. Tudor - Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist From Heart and Soul

Exorcism:

Purging the Narcissist from Heart and Soul

By

H G Tudor

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2016

Exorcism: Purging the Narcissist from Heart and Soul

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Introduction

Hello and welcome to Exorcism. My kind is often likened to a demon which invades both your life and your heart, mind and soul. Such is the degree to which we permeate your life, touching upon so many facets of it that it does indeed give the impression of being possessed by some demonic and evil force. The extent of our machinations and the repercussions that you feel from them are wide-spread, extensive and can be long-lasting. We appear regularly in your mind, invading your thoughts. You can feel us in your heart, causing it to quicken, to ache and to soar. Such is the intensity of our seduction of you that if feels like we have wrapped our soul around yours (if indeed we had one) and we will often use such words and those of a similar nature to convey this sense of uniting together, two becoming one and not knowing where one of us ends and the other begins. The deep and intense seduction is akin to us taking you over and once we have achieved that total control, then the terrible and unpleasant machinations begin. The abuse commences and with you in our grip, we deploy all manner of manipulations to achieve our aims. We appear to be everywhere. We are by your side, we infect your dreams, we ring and message and then disappear when we engage in one of our frequent silent treatments. Even when we are not physically next to you, our presence remains. We make your mind race with thoughts and anxiety. We dominate your every waking moment and disrupt your sleep.

Once we throw you to one side or if you manage to escape us through the implementation of no contact, our possession of you does not end there. One might hope that having been freed of the concept of being in some kind of relationship with you, whether as intimate partner, family member, friend or colleague, that our presence would drift away and our hold on you would loosen. That is not the case. We repeatedly try and exert further control over you through the application of hoovers. We remain within you as a consequence of the massive impact we made on your life through our seduction and subsequent devaluation and discard. People meet thousands of people, maybe even more in some instances, during their lives. Few of those people have any lasting impact. Yes, they may be long-standing friends, someone who inspired a person, someone who guided them through their formative years, someone who put them on the right path in terms of their career aspirations. It may be the case that somebody was a dependable rock (certainly not one of our kind) who appeared in somebodys hour of need and supported them through some kind of crisis and their compassion has left their mark. For the most part however people drift together and then move on without leaving any lasting impression. This is not the case when someone encounters our kind.

You know better than anybody what the dramatic impact is of becoming engaged with one of our kind. What you need to understand is why do we have such an impact and what can you do about it? What is it that enables us to have such an effect upon you?

I am not a healer. There are many other people who engage in such work as a consequence of their profession, their empathic qualities and/or the fact that they too have experienced our kind and they have learned from the experience in terms of being able to move on and recover. I am a narcissist. As a consequence of the natural awareness that I have and that which has been brought to me as a result of my ongoing treatment I am able to deliver information to you. This information is from my perspective. This is what I think. This is what I do. This is my reasoning. It is rare to receive such a perspective, but it is mine. I will give you the information which you can then, if you so choose, apply to your understanding. That is a matter for you. I am not here to tell you what to do. You are an adult and you are in charge of yourself. I am not here to take you by the hand and console you, empathise and be compassionate. Of course I can feign all of that, I have watched and observed many people do it, so I am fully aware of my capability to manufacture what appears to be kindness and caring, but I do not feel it. What I will do is give you information which you will rarely receive from elsewhere and then you can decide if you wish to apply this to assist your understanding of the situation. It is not comfortable reading what I have to write. I avoid being gratuitous in order to maintain our famed economy of effort, but I take the view that it better for you to receive the bold and uncompromised reality of what my kind and me do.

I know the effects that our behaviour has on those who entangle with us. I have seen it many time from those who I have ensnared. I have listened to their protestations and explanations of how it makes them feel, carefully storing this information and these responses in order to maximise my methodology for my own benefit. I know what I am and I am gaining understanding of what it means to be what I am. I am prepared to share this with you. I know the extent to which we affect you and how hard it is for you, even when the relationship has been ended in the traditional sense (because from our perspective the relationship only ends when one of us dies if there is a chance to obtain more fuel from you at some point we will take it) for you to purge us from within you. It is as if we have become part of your DNA. You think about us repeatedly, your emotions are still affected by us, you long and pine for us even though you know how badly we have treated you. You eventually begin to understand what has happened to you, but the emotional fall-out continues. This is what causes the most pain and you just want to stop that feeling. I know full well what it is like because my victims have told me in detail just what it is like and I have extensive experience of others who may not be victims but they too have shared how we affect them post-discard or post-escape.

It is a terrible and tortuous time for you and you just want the sensation to go away so you can move forward. It is achievable. I am going to explain why that is so from my perspective because I know what we do to infect you with this sensation in the first place. Who better to engage with for the purposes of identifying a way forward than the person who caused the issue in the first place? By explaining to you what we do and why it is so effective you will gain understanding. This understanding in itself is crucial in tackling the emotional impact you suffer from entangling with us. Moreover, armed with this understanding you will then identify the array of actions you can take to tackle the emotional impact. I detail many of them later in this book and of course you will also find others, those who are more of the healing nature than I, who will provide you with further information to assist you in your recovery. What I will provide you with however is the understanding that is necessary to purge the effects of our infection from your heart and soul. I put it there in the first place. I am therefore best-placed to tell you why it is there, why it affects you in the way that it does and most of all what you can do about it.

I do not engage in detailed scientific explanations. I am not a man of science. That is for others to do. I find that such esoteric labelling has a purpose within the relevant scientific disciplines but for the purpose of communication and getting the message across in an effective manner, such lengthy explanations and cumbersome labels are unnecessary. I provide you with the insight from the perspective of my kind and me. Our conduct is calculated and necessary. The Lesser and Mid-Range of our kind do not know nor understand why they do as they do in infecting you in this way. The Greater of our kind know that we do it and also we understand why this is the case. We know full well that we must infect you, we know how to do it, what works best and because of this awareness we also know what you can do to counter it. There is undoubtedly science at work in this process because our infection of you relies on reinforcement, programming, conditioning and addiction. I have little doubt that one can read about the scientific explanation as to why you are addicted to our kind, in terms of what happens to you chemically and changes to your brain etc. There is much validity in that, however, what I am providing you with is how we go about causing that addiction, why you become addicted, what it is about you that provides such a fertile breeding ground for such addiction, how we know about this and exploit it to our advantage and ultimately, what you can do about it. By understanding addictive infection from our perspective it will assist you considerably.