H.G. Tudor - Decipher - What the Narcissist Really Means

Decipher:

What the Narcissist Really Means

By

H G Tudor

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2016

Decipher: What the Narcissist Really Means

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Introduction

I have emphasised on many occasions that the key to overcoming the effect of the narcissist is to understand him or her. Understanding the narcissist enables you to deal with the all-pervading and insidious grip that he or she has on you. Much of what we do is aimed at keeping you in a permanent state of confusion, bewilderment and bafflement. We do not want you to understand. By remaining perplexed as to why we have done and said things, you stay in our grip. You are unable to move forward. You are unable to escape us. This confusion weakens you and makes you more susceptible to all of the other manipulations that we apply against you in order to extract fuel from you. It is all done by design. We do not want you challenging us. We do not want you seeking to distance yourself from us and in so doing disrupt our supply of precious fuel. We need to have you paralysed as you endlessly ruminate and speculate on why we have said what we have said. You will sit with friends and discuss over and over again the things that we have done and the things that we have said. Indeed, it is the latter which happens most often because we prefer to use words as our weapons. This is because they are easy to use and do not expend a lot of energy in their use. We find it so easy to throw a verbal hand grenade in your direction and walk away leaving you to deal with the carnage that has been created. As an empathic individual, you have a need for order, for understanding and for working things out. You cannot help but behave in this manner. You like to know things. You want to understand why something has happened so that you can then respond in the best way possible. You need to comprehend why somebody has said what they did so you can then decide what needs to be done. It is a selfless trait and one which we exploit.

Our use of words and phrases to confuse, wound and exploit is well known. We use words, both spoken and in various forms of media, from text messages to e-mails, from letters to tweets, to seduce you. We use these words to draw you into our false world where everything seems wonderful. We have an amazing capacity for saying the most wonderful things that captivate you and lift you up on high. It is astonishing how easy these words come to us but we say them with such conviction, able to mimic, through repeated practice, the manner and tone in which such loving words are used. We, of course, do not feel love in the way that you do. That has been denied to us by reason of the manner in which we have been created. This does not hinder us however because we are the masters at copying and we have seen how love is portrayed in books, in films and in songs. We observe and we replicate, snatching phrases and words to enthral you and lure you into our web.

Those once golden words soon become used as tools by which we abuse you. The cherished words we once whispered in your ear become bile-filled insults, vitriolic put-downs and sneering, savage taunts. Our words are used to upset you, hurt you, anger you and degrade you. During this devaluation we use our mouths to abuse you for such comments leave no mark and are difficult to prove, yet we know their worth. Intermittently we will sprinkle the golden dust from our mouths once again as beauty and sunshine pours from us and you are taken back to the place where you always want to be, before the tongue becomes forked once more and serpentine opprobrium is sent your way. Eventually you are thrown to the wayside, sometimes in silence and other times with our mocking catcalls ringing in your ears. Broken and dazed you try to make sense of everything that has been said to you. How could we pour such sugar in your ears and then turn it to venom in the blink of an eye? Who behaves like that? Why do that? What did we mean when said all those things? Was any of it true? Your confusion is debilitating but this is deliberate because it means you are unable to travel along the pathway to recovery. You remain damaged and hurt by the roadside as we stroll off in to the sunset without a care for you. We return though. We come wandering back, acting as if nothing has happened and once again the seductive words come pouring your way, the apologies, the assertions that it was a mistake the declarations that change can be achieved. Once more you are seduced and we bring you back to start the process all over again. Throughout this narcissistic cycle words are an ever present. We use our own, pilfer the words of the great and learned, purloin them from songs to use to woo you, steal them from books to hurt and abuse you, words are the greatest weapon that our kind uses.

Our use of words will leave you confused because we are creatures of hypocrisy and contradiction. This is entirely deliberate and our conduct makes perfect sense when seen from our perspective. All these comments, both delicious and demonic, are necessary to obtain fuel from you because fuel is our lifeblood. We must always gather fuel and we must always exert control over you, jerking you like a puppet to allow us to exact our machinations against you. If you understood what was meant, what was really meant, when we said certain things, not only would you be able to guard against further seduction and abuses, but you would be able to make sense of much that has been said to you. This comprehension will allow you to understand what has happened and this is the key to unlocking the door which will allow you to progress on the road to recovery. Understanding why the narcissist has said the things he or she said is absolutely crucial.

Fortunately for you, as a narcissist myself, I am able to decipher what we say and what this actually means. I am able to provide you with this understanding. The codes, inferences and nuances are all revealed by the provision of comprehension to the language spoken by our kind. This is a unique opportunity to delve into what is meant by the narcissist when he or she says certain things. One thing you may have noticed so far, from your readings and your discussion with other victims, or at least you will come to notice, is that our kind behave in similar fashions. We are devious and manipulative but all of our words and actions are astonishingly similar. Many victims remark that it is as if we are operating from some kind of common manual or handbook, or that we all attended some ubiquitous School for Narcissists. There are of course variations on a theme and this is influenced by the time of narcissist that you are dealing with, each has his or her particular twist on the words of seduction, devaluation and discard. Accordingly, what is written here will be applicable to many of you. You will have heard many of this phrases (or ones most similar) and therefore the content of this book is most applicable. Use the content of this valuable publication to gain understanding as finally you are able to decipher what the narcissist meant when he used those words.