H.G. Tudor - Escape: How to Beat the Narcissist

ESCAPE

How to Beat the Narcissist

BY

H G TUDOR

Copyright 2015

All Rights Reserved

Escape

How to Beat the Narcissist

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Dedications

To those who gathered the strength to fight back.

To those determined to escape.

Introduction

Where are you right now? I do not mean where are you sat reading this book, at home or travelling on the tube to work. I mean where are you at? Have you discovered that you are in the maelstrom of a narcissistic whirlwind? Most likely. You may have taken years to reach this point of realisation. You have known for a long time that something is not right but you have not been able to put your finger on what is causing it. Instead, as the empath that attracted us, you have spent your time trying to weather the storm, to sooth and placate and to try and understand. After all this time you have finally gained an insight into the beast you have danced the exhausting dance with all these years. The creature that has leeched from you in every conceivable manner and then given nothing back.

You fell in love with the heaven sent individual, man or woman. They lit up your life and made everything shine and sparkle. You may have been suffering in some way but they picked you up and dusted you down and made you feel so special, so wonderful and so loved. That faded a long time ago and yet you still stayed, clinging onto the hope that you could return to that golden period and make everything alright again.

Thus where are you now? Beaten, battered and bruised. Exhausted, shattered and drained. You cannot think straight. You are sapped of your strength and your energy. You never see your friends and hardly ever your family. You are isolated and trapped in this hellish false reality that I have created. It is a monumental effort for you to climb out of your bed and get through the day. You just want to be left alone. You want it to stop but it will not. The demonic merry-go-round spins faster and faster and you can feel yourself fading away.

You are now reading the answer. I am a narcissist. I know my kind and what goes on in our minds. I know how we behave, think and react and I am going to provide this knowledge to you to enable you to escape and beat your narcissist.

I suspect that when you read How to beat the narcissist you immediately said to yourself, with a club. Many of you, with some justification, will feel that way. Satisfying as it may be to stove in the head of the narcissist who has plagued your life spending time in prison would actually provide us with the last laugh.

Instead of advocating a violent approach to eradicate us, this book is aimed at enabling you to escape the worst of our behaviours. You are fully familiar with our abusive ways as you have been on the receiving end of many of them for a long time. Some you may be aware of and others you have learned are much more insidious. Sometimes you may not even be able to link the way you feel with how we treat you. On other occasions it is as obvious and as brutal as a punch in the mouth.

The purpose of this book is to offer you advice from someone who is very much in the know. There are many books written by those who have been through the horrendous experience of having had a relationship with a narcissist. Many are completely unaware of what they have been put through until a well-informed friend or a professional has told them, or they have read one of my other publications, which has put them firmly in the picture.

Others are still ensnared in the narcissists clutches. They may lack the emotional strength and force of will to get away from the narcissist. They are not yet equipped to make that break and therefore need assistance in managing the manipulative behaviour of the narcissist to diminish or extinguish his or her toxic effect.

Alternatively, getting completely away from the narcissist may not realistically be an option, notwithstanding the strength of will and purpose that the individual may have. It may be very difficult for them to do so as the narcissist is their boss, a family member or they share parenting duties with the narcissist.

The golden rule in evading the continuing clutches of a narcissist is to go no contact. It is sound advice. Nothing infuriates us more than being ignored. When this happens, the vast majority of us will then lose interest in you. It is too difficult to extract any fuel from you and as I have mentioned on previous occasions we do not like to expend our energy unnecessarily. Accordingly, we will move on and seek out new sources of fuel which are far easier to extract from. There are plenty around. A handful of my kind may still pursue you even if you apply the approach of no contact. Those are my malign brethren whose ultimate aim is your destruction. In those instances, you are left with little choice but to either move a long way away (I am talking countries or continents) and/or utilising the power of the law to protect yourself. The malign of our variety will continue to pursue you unless restrained from doing so.

Of course, if no contact was the answer to every situation then this would be a short book indeed. No contact may be an eventual aim or it may not be something that can be achieved. What you need instead is to know how to manage the manipulative techniques that we narcissists deploy in order to minimise their impact on you and thus escape their effect. This might be to enable you to muster sufficient strength to leave us and apply no contact or it may be so that you can regain some control in your life when you have no option but to continue to have involvement with us. As mentioned above, there are many people who advise on how to deal with a narcissists manipulative wiles on a day by day basis, based on their own experience or from repeated studying of narcissists from a professional perspective. Those books are very good and are full of useful ideas and techniques indeed.

This book provides you with counter techniques from the perspective of a narcissist. Nobody knows how effective these techniques are on our kind, as our kind. I know full well the impact and I also allow you to understand how it has such an impact to satisfy your craving, as an empath, for answers. Receiving this information from a practitioner of the dark art of narcissism is akin to being granted unfettered access to a gold mine.

You have the added advantage of knowing that it works (I am telling you that it does) but also of how it impacts on me. If revenge is your thing, you are able to garner a slice of it by knowing the effect these steps will have on me. Not all have an effect. Many are about self-preservation and nullifying my effect. In certain instances, the counter techniques can be applied to several different types of related manipulative actions. The intention of this is that if you know what you are dealing with, since you have read my book Manipulated which shows you twenty-five manipulative techniques we narcissists use, then this will provide you with suggestions to counter those tactics. Thus, it can be read in conjunction with Manipulated or as a stand alone once you know the behaviours you are dealing with.

You should be accustomed by now to my direct and no-nonsense approach. There is no time to indulge in the science here, no matter how interesting this is and it is not my expertise that is for others to advise you about.

You need help and you need it fast. This is where you find it.

Mindset

The fundamental step you need to take to escape my kind and me is to alter your mindset. People like you (and by that I mean honest, decent and caring people) know you are being abused. You tend to know quite soon you are being abused although you often do not realise that you are being subject to certain insidious manipulative techniques. That is why my book Manipulated is very important in giving you a wake up call.