Samantha Brett - The Catch: How to Be Found by the Man of Your Dreams

Samantha Brett is a columnist for the Sydney Morning Herald , media personality and Australias number-one sex, dating and relationships blogger. Her Ask Sam column, which she started in 2006, receives 50,000 hits per day and is one of the most widely read online columns in Australia. Samantha has written for Grazia , Vogue and FHM , appears regularly on Weekend Sunrise and gives relationship advice on radio stations across the country. Samantha is the author of The Chase .

First published in 2012

Copyright Samantha Brett 2012

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To all the men Ive dated, bedded, wept over, brushed off an
d confided in over the past year... thank you... you
werent just case-study material... I promise.

If you have just picked up The Catch , I want to assure you that your life is about to change... for the better. All those feelings of insecurity, of not being able to get the man you want, of not knowing where to find him or what to say once you dowill evaporate pretty quickly after you start doing all the exercises outlined in this book. Im so excited to introduce you to a brand-new method of living, dating and being that will see you become the woman you were supposed to be, and will see you instantly attracting the man you are supposed to be with. No more pining over a man who broke your heart or used you for sex. Instead, you will find, catch and keep a man who will value the true you, exactly where you are in your life right now.

If youve just been dumped, or youve lost a man who you thought had every potential to be the last man you will ever sleep with, or if you have been dating douchebag, after player, after man who disappoints you, this book is for you.

If you truly believed he was the one who was going to propose to you and make all your dreams come truewhether youd been dating him for a couple of years or only a couple of monthsit doesnt matter. We could meet a man once, and we could instantly think that he has all the potential in the world of being the perfect boyfriend, husband and father to our future kids. And then without even knowing we are doing it, we put all our hopes into this dude, and still get heartbroken when we realise he never had the same intentions as us.

Becoming The Catch is all about looking rationally at why you let yourself feel this way, and then never again launching into something that isnt going to be 100 per cent satisfying in the long term. You are going to refine your checklist, never again settle for less, and know how to handle and talk to the man of your dreams then make him fall hopelessly in love with you in no time at all.

When you complete all the exercises in this book, you will find yourself no longer wasting your precious time or energy on men who arent good enough for you, dont value you like you deserve to be valued, and generally arent the right man for you. That time of your life is over, kaput, finito! What this means too, though, is that you are going to not only become The Catcha woman who men flock to get to knowbut youre going to become someone who men instantly see as girlfriend material. That means that men will start to have the utmost respect for you; want to provide for and protect you; arent opposed to waiting for sex with you; are proud to call you girlfriend in front of their mates; and you will feel like your best self whenever you are around them. He likes you for you; he likes everything about you; and he likes you where you are right now in your life.

You are going to get into a zone in which you will have more date invitations than you can handle and yet you are now at a wiser, more sensible place in your life, so you can instantly separate the players from the stayers. You will learn to know what you want, and then when the timing is right, it will magically appear in your lap. You are about to morph from someone who has been tossed by men to someone who is viewed as The Catcha long-term prospect. So lets get started!

A Cautionary Tale: Camilla

There are two types of single women in this world: those men want to marry, and those men just want to fuck. Camilla Mason was the type of woman men wanted to marry right away, the minute they laid eyes on her. A political journalist for a major newspaper, she had cropped blonde hair, a tiny waist and big breasts. She was smart, sexy and aloof. Hence every man she met wanted her... to be their girlfriend.

Youre exactly the type of girl Ive been looking for, the men would say. Not that she gave a toss. After all, for the last five years shed been ensconced in a long-term relationship. Which meant that despite men instantly turning to mush at first sight of her, she was always unavailable. Always busy. Always dismissive.

Of course, this hot-to-trot attitude only made the men more desperate to be around Camilla. But she already had a man who she adored. Or at least thats what she told herself. Even though she didnt have a ringand even though she knew there were issues in their relationship which she preferred to sweep under the carpetshe was mightily happy. After all, who needed marriage when she had a career to focus on? Having a ring, a big wedding and creating a family were the last things on her mind.

Camilla truly believed that her kind, doting boyfriend would always be around... even when she upped and travelled to Washington for months on end for her career (without him); even when she flirted with other men (for work purposes in order to get a story); even when she disappeared for days in search of a yarn. Even when she told him she never wanted to get married because, to her, marriage signified death. Or at least the death of her glamorous life. She simply assumed that hed still be waiting at home for her with bated breath and a souffl in the oven.

No such luck. The more she pushed her luck, focused on her career, the more he pulled away. Until one day he decided he just couldnt do it any more.