About the Authors
Josie Brown and Martin Brown are the Relationship Channel editors for the news web portal SingleMindedWomen.com .
Their articles on relationships, health trends and celebrity profiles have appeared in Redbook, Complete Woman, AskMen.com, Yahoo News, AOL Women's Channel, and numerous news and media outlets.
The Browns are also the co-authors of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right; and the co-editors of the internationally syndicated column John Gray's Mars Venus Advice .
Novels by Josie Brown
The Baby Planner [ Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books; 2011]
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook [Signal Press; 2011]
Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives [Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books; 2010]
True Hollywood Lies [Diversion Books; 2010]
Impossibly Tongue-Tied [HarperCollins/Avon 2006]
Have a relationship question?
Email the Browns at SignalEditorial.com
*Photo credit: Jacklyn Brown
Marriage Confidential
102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask,
and Every Wife Needs to Know
By Josie Brown and Martin Brown
2011 by Josie Brown and Martin Brown
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and authors assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of information contained herein.
For information, contact Signal Press
MARRIAGE CONFIDENTIAL and Design are registered trademarks of
Josie Brown and Martin Brown.
Brown, Josie, - Brown, Martin
Marriage Confidential:
102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask,
and Every Wife Needs to Know
Josie Brown and Martin Brown. 1st ed. 2003; 2 nd ed. 2011
p. cm.
ISBN 10: 0-9740214-1-5 / ISBN-13: 978-0-9740214-1-6
1. Marriage 2. Relationships 3. Self-Help I. Title
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its authors. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the authors and publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal and otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request
Cover Design: Andrew Brown
Dedication
In memory of our parents:
Maria and Mario, and Ruth and Ben.
Without their devotion, our collaboration would not be possible.
Introduction
The night before we celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary, we went to the grocery store to pickup up a few items. While we waited at the checkout counter, we picked up a tabloid featuring a cover story about some celebrity who had just given birth to her space alien's love child. There were some equally hilarious articles inside, and we both laughed and poked each other as we flipped pages.
Hearing our laughter, the woman in front of us turned and watched our interaction. Then, with a big smile, she asked, "How long have you two been a couple?"
When we told her that we were about to celebrate twenty years of marriage, she expressed amazement."You look so happy together, I thought you might be newlyweds!" she replied.
What a perfectly wonderful thing to hear on the eve of a big anniversary! Having shared so much throughout the yearsincluding the joys and trials of raising two childrenwe know we are truly devoted to each other. Still, it was nice to hear such recognition of our love.
And working together as writers for twenty-five yearsmany of which were spent writing on topics concerning relationshipswe also realize that open, honest, loving marriages are not necessarily the norm.
For the last fifteen years we have worked with John Gray as editorial directors for his internationally syndicated Mars Venus Advice column. In that capacity, we read thousands
of letters from men and women who had questions about their partners, but were unable to find satisfactory answers.
In writing this book, our aim was to get to the heart of the matter: how we so often can be both content with, and confounded by, our partners. To that end, we also asked each other those same tough questions.
Our answers to those questions and more are here, in Marriage Confidential . By blending experience, humor, and advice in the following 102 essays, we believe you'll find them enjoyable, insightful and thought provoking.
Many of the same questions were asked of our readers on Mars Venus and Mars Venus Redbook online polls. The results of these polls, shown throughout this book, also support the answers you see here.
The three best things we can share as a couple are our love, laughter and tears. We share all of that with you in the hope that you will share the same with each other.
Martin Brown and Josie Brown
V: Confidentially Speaking
83. Do most men feel the same about their wives after their first year of marriage? - She
He - The easy answer is "No," and the easy assumption is that a husband loves his wife less after the first year of marriage. In many situations and in many ways, that assumption is wrong.
I suppose it grows out of the notion that the intensity of a couple's sex life diminishes after the first year of marriage. That can indeed be true, but love grows in many different ways. White hot passion can evolve into deeper and more soulful forms of love and lovemaking.
There are a lot of older couples who, after thirty, forty, or more years of marriage, are more deeply committed to each other than they were in their first year, or the first decade, of being a couple.
Do they feel the same about their partners as they did in that first year? Probably not, because relationships are constantly moving from one level to another. Think of your lives together as a tapestry: those first years hold the promise for a happy future, but aren't yet embroidered with the rich traditions that can only come about from a shared history growing more complex with each passing year.
In five years, ask yourself: "Do I love her as much as I did in our first year of marriage?" I'm guessing your answer will be: "No, I love her much more."
84. Does my wife ever regret our marriage? - He
She - As the 17th century French author and moralist Francois, duc de La Rochefoucauld once said, "One is never as unhappy as one thinks, nor as happy as one hopes." In regard to a long-term marriage, this is most definitely true.