Angela I. Schutz - A Boomer Chicks Guide to Online Dating

A Boomer Chicks Guide To
Online Dating

Youre Never Too Old to Look and Love

Angela I. Schutz

A Boomer Chicks Guide To Online Dating Copyright 2021 Angela I. Schutz

Paperback ISBN-13: 978-0-933578-04-3

E-book ISBN-13: 978-0-933578-05-0

All rights reserved . In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the publisher.

Book design: Eddie Vincent

Cover photographs Shutterstock

Published by Open Sesame Productions

Winchester, MA 01890

www.wii.fm

Contents

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my family, who, although they never knew me, loved me unconditionally. To my granddaughter, please love yourself and never, never let anyone hurt you or put you down. You are perfect just the way you are. I will love you forever!

I also dedicate this book to Debra Poneman and my family from Yes to Success. You have no idea how much your encouragement and acceptance has meant to me. We have each thrown the pebble across the vast ocean of life, and now we can reap the rewards as the ripples spread to make the world a better place in which to live.

I would be remiss if I didnt mention all of my truly loving friends, some of whom have been with me for more than fifty years. I am blessed by your presence in my life.

And to all the men Ive known and loved: you were my inspirations and in some cases my muses. I have laughed with you and honored who you are. I have struggled to understand your perspective, but through it all, you have taught me so much. I love the male perspective, at least the part of it that I understand. We are so different, and despite the differences, we have found ways to love each other and learn from and inspire each other. I dont think it gets any better than that!

This book is purely meant to entertain, so Mr. Longface or the Italian Stallion should merely laugh at my rendition of our encounters. I am a writer. I love to tell a story. The facts are not facts, but merely my ponderings of what might have been. I do not mean to offend in any way. Enjoy the read. Have a laugh. Learn a lesson. With any luck you will have an aha moment that enlightens you as to why you did things in the way you did.

Honor yourself and be exactly who you were meant to be. The most beautiful person in the world is one who has stepped into her own skin and loves the woman she is. She radiates confidenceand that is sexy!

As women we are taught that we are not enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, you know the rest. Dont pay any attention to that. Spend time getting to know yourself. Know where your skills lie and cultivate them. Listen to your heart and be the best version of yourself you can be. Dont try to be like othersyou werent meant to be them, so dont try. I cant stress enough how important it is to be yourself.

And to you, the reader, thank you for reading my book. I hope it gives you some insight and some laughs because we all need that. I am grateful to share the planet with you and promise to do my part to leave this world better than when I joined it. I am excited for you and the journey you are on. Forge ahead, Boomer Chick; the best is yet to come.

PREFACE

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.

- Shannon L. Alder

I know! Online dating past the age of 50 is beyond frightening, but this Boomer Chick can tell you it can create a sense of excitement and independence! I set some rules for myself: I would have no expectations that a knight in shining armor would ride in and carry me away, and I am good enough! I would make no apologies for any self-perceived imperfections. Any man who couldnt befriend me in my as is condition was not the man for me.

And so I jumped into the waters of online dating, feet first, eyes wide open, with a balance of scared anticipation and pure excitement. Once the journey began, I realized that I should share the lessons and insights I gained with other women in the hope that they would learn from my mistakes and my victories. I learned so much about my values and my desires. My passion for life grew stronger. I began to realize how important some things are to me, and I am actually not willing to give up on the things I truly value. I have also learned that a man with values, even those very different from my own, may not be willing to give up on those values. It takes a lot to have a meeting of the minds, but when the right man comes along, everything will suddenly make sense.

My best advice is: Dont settle! Take some time to develop the person you are and look for a man who will honor that. Find a reciprocal relationship with no stereotypical roleseach of you should do what you do best. Life is too precious to waste on vying for power. No one needs that. As a Boomer Chick, aim at a relationship that is filled with ease, love and mutual respect. Always strive to keep a sense of wonder at all the new things a relationship can bring. Throw fear out the window and enjoy the experiences. The bad experiences are simply lessons to be learned, and the good experiences are worth waiting for. Enjoy it all because you are worth it!

DATING DURING THE
CORONAVIRUS

W ell, as of this writing, its 2021, and we have all been challenged by the worst pandemic of our lifetime. Our entire country is struggling with trying to find a way to control this devastating virus. For those of us who are currently alone, the fact that we have had to go into quarantine has been such a challenge. When we venture out, we are expected to wear a mask and stay six feet away from every other person we encounter. We are all trying to maintain our health, and yet, as boomers we are still hearing the ticking of our lifes clock ringing in our ears.

We were on dating sites because we no longer wanted to be alone. We were dreaming of finding a partner with whom to make memories on this final phase of life. Finding someone online who is interesting and who might be a potential partner now has the added problem of how to meet him and maintain social distancing. Can we get to know that masked man without seeing any more than his eyes? Are we willing to merely dream of his touch, his kisses, his loving embrace?

The sane answer is YES! This period in which we need to do everything in our power to stay safe and healthy will pass. Be safe, but you can still meet someone new as long as you both agree to maintain the necessary precautions. You can start by having Zoom meetings or talk on FaceTime so that you can actually see each other and get a sense of each others personalities. Once you are comfortable, you can certainly make a date to go for a bike ride or a long walk where you can talk and get better acquainted.

As the bans begin to lift, you will be able to go out to dinner. If the weather is warm, choose a restaurant where you can eat outside on a patio. The positive that will come from all of this is that by having to wait to be close physically, you can use the time to develop a strong emotional bond. Learn about all of those things that make him special. What does he love to do? What has he accomplished in his life that he is proud of? Find your common bonds. What are your shared interests?

Spend some time dreaming of the day where you can meet and travel together. What is his family history? There are so many wonderful things you can find out about him and vice versa. By the time it is safe to meet, you will already know if he is someone you really want to meet. Most of all, be creative and find ways to date in a socially distanced world. Make it work without resentment. Look for the good in all the negativity associated with the Coronavirus. Dont put up self-inflicted roadblocks. Keep your mind and your heart open so that love can enter into your life. In the long run, it will be worth it!