Laura Zam - The Pleasure Plan One Womans Search for Sexual Healing

Praise forThe Pleasure Plan

Zam is funny, smart and one hell of an educator. I commend her for sharing her own experience and writing a book about pleasure for women. All women need a Pleasure Plan.

Betty Dodson, PhD, sexologist, Netflix sex educator, bestselling author of Sex for One

Laura Zams work is passionate, witty, psychologically astute, and filled with wisdom and good healing karma.

Susan Shapiro, New York Times bestselling author of Unhooked and Five Men Who Broke My Heart

In each of us, there is a quiet, bright voice, insisting on a life of pleasure and aliveness. This is the voice Laura uses to write this book along with some wicked humor.

LiYana Silver, coach and author of Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman

Lauras healing is beautifully woven together in this memoir using humor and wit. So many people need to read this book to increase sex education, awareness, and hope for more pleasure in their life.

Rachel S. Rubin, MD, urologist, sexual medicine specialist, and national health advocate

Reading The Pleasure Plan feels like going on the ride with Zam and exiting the off-ramp wiser, much more hopeful, and, above all, more human.

Rosalyn Dischiavo, author of The Deep Yes: The Lost Art of True Receiving, founder of Institute for Sexuality Education & Enlightenment

An empowering journey helping women navigate their bodies, their bedrooms, and their health. Gorgeously told.

Nina Lorez Collins, author of What Would Virginia Woolf Do? And Other Questions I Ask Myself as I Attempt to Age Without Apology, founder of The Woolfer

God Bless Laura Zam for having the courage and sticktoitiveness to not only discover her own pathway to both healing and pleasure, but to provide a blueprint for us all to do the same.

Steph Jagger, bestselling author of Unbound: A Story of Snow And Self-Discovery and co-creator of Sacred Rebellion

The Pleasure Plan is a fiercely empowering tale, an intimate portrait of a couple that is also a map for greater enjoyment of sex and connection. This is a book for all who seek sensual healing. Brave and inspiring!

Aspen Matis, bestselling author of Girl in the Woods and Your Blue Is Not My Blue: A Missing Person Memoir

A useful guide for people of all genders navigating complexities of the bedroom. Great for partners too. Funny, moving, and filled with tips!

Robert Festinger, screenwriter, Academy Award nominee, In the Bedroom

Im so glad Laura didnt listen to her mothers advice: dont go for passion. In her witty, wide-ranging and wildly helpful book, she bravely reveals her healing journey for searingly painful issues that many barely acknowledge. Laura leads the way in forging a path for sexual healing. Pleasure Plan is an inspirational and pragmatic life-changer.

Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, author of The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals

To protect the privacy of individuals featured in this book, I have changed most names and identifying details. The exception applies to those who gave me explicit permission to present them without masking: Kurt, my husband; Shirley Serotsky and Ari Roth, who commissioned my one-person play; Diana and Richard Daffner, who run Intimacy Retreats; Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, who run Bodysex Workshops; and Regena Thomashauer, who goes by Mama Gena. All dialogue and events are as I remember them. In a few places, I have altered chronology for better narrative flow.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available through the Library of Congress

2020 Laura Zam

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-2350-8 (Paperback)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-2350-2 (Paperback)

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-2351-5 (ePub)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-2351-0 (ePub)

Pleasure epigraph printed by permission. From Merriam-Webster.com 2019 by Merriam-Webster, Inc., https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pleasure.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

1700 NW 2nd Avenue

Boca Raton, FL 33432-1653

Cover design by Larissa Hise Henoch

Interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield

For Kurt, Forever.

Pleasure

noun

1. 1:DESIRE, INCLINATION
2. 2:a state of gratification
3. 3:sensual gratification
4. 4:a source of delight or joy

Merriam-Webster

Dear Reader,

I am happy to meet you. I wrote The Pleasure Plan because my life expanded in so many ways because of my sexual healing journey. Instead of feeling embarrassment over my sex problems, I found bliss and a sense of power, which carried over into other areas of my life. Inspired by what I had discovered, and eager to help others, I became a sexuality educator. I also formalized my trauma education by becoming a Certified Trauma Professional.

Along with my personal narrative, Ive included some self-help tips plus a resource section at the end of the book called How to Create Your Own Pleasure Plan. These tips are designed for people of any gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, biological sex, and commitment style.

Heres to your pleasure!

I t is with great pleasure that I acknowledge all the people who have helped make this book possible. Ill try to include everyone, but if Ive interacted with you in the last couple of years, trust me, you have somehow contributed to this consuming, exhilarating project. My first order of gratitude goes to Ari Roth and Shirley Serotsky, formerly of Theater J, for commissioning the play Married Sex. I cant thank both of you enough for letting me write about my taboo sex problems, and for supporting my efforts to heal in this unique way. Also, a huge hug to Theater J staff and to Batya E. Feldman, who played a crucial role in getting my play to finally work. While on the subject of originating forces, I am deeply grateful to Susan Shapiro, literary dream maker extraordinaire. Sue, this book would not exist without your mentorship, guidance, and heart. Thanks also to Daniel Jones for publishing my essay Healing Sought (Bring Your Own Magic) in the New York Times, Modern Love. That essay opened many doors for me, changing the course of my life. Along similar lines, thank you Sarah Hepola for publishing a related essay, How I Cured My Sexual Dysfunction Without a Pill in Salon.

I am forever grateful to my amazing agent Laura Yorke. Laura, thank you for taking a chance on me, and for fighting so hard to get this book published. You are the warm, funny, fierce, wise agent I also wanted. I cant believe how lucky I am to be in your nurturing orbit, and to work with you. And speaking of luck, I am forever grateful to HCI Books for being so enthusiastic about this book from the get-go. Thank you Allison Janse, my amazingly talented editor, who has patiently put up with my neuroses, and who has given me so much space to organically grow this project. I am thankful for all your help shaping this bookand this author. Big, big thanks to other leadership and staff at HCI, particularly my savvy, fabulous HCI publicist, Kim Weiss. Thank you Larissa Hise Henoch for the perfect cover design, and Lawna Patterson Oldfield for gorgeous internal design. Thank you Simon & Schuster staff for your part in bringing this book into the hands of readers.