Peggy Brown - The Little Golden Book of Jokes and Riddles

Text copyright 2013 by Peggy Brown
Illustrations copyright 2013 by David Sheldon
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Golden Books, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, a division of Random House, Inc., 1745 Broadway, New York, NY 10019. Golden Books, A Golden Book, A Little Golden Book, the G colophon, and the distinctive gold spine are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2012931232
eISBN: 978-0-375-98127-2 goldenbooks.com v3.1 Why did the girl throw the clock out the window? To see time fly! What time is it when you need to see a dentist? Tooth-hurty. When does a golfer need an extra pair of socks? When he gets a hole in one! What time is it when a flying saucer full of Martians falls out of the sky, crashes through the roof, and lands on your lunch box? Time to get a new lunch box. Knock, knock! Whos there? Olive. Olive who? Olive YOU! Knock, knock! Whos there? Ken. Ken who? Ken I come in the door, or should I climb in the window? Knock, knock! Whos there? Window. Yuck who? Yuck-an have these cookies backtheyre awful! Knock, knock! Whos there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock! Whos there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock! Whos there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didnt say banana again? How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away his credit cards.
What was the elephant doing at the baggage claim? Waiting for his trunk.
How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, lots of root beer, and one elephant. Mom: Dont be selfish, Mike. Orange who? Orange you glad I didnt say banana again? How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away his credit cards.
What was the elephant doing at the baggage claim? Waiting for his trunk.
How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, lots of root beer, and one elephant. Mom: Dont be selfish, Mike.

Let your sister have the sled half the time. Mike : She does, Mom. She has it going up the hill and I have it going down!
Tom: More cake, please! Mom: Tom! If you eat any more cake, youll burst. Tom: Pass the cake and get out of the way! What do you call a pig in a pointy hat that flies over the beach on her broomstick? A ham sand witch. What do you call a pig thats not sharing the mud with others? A ground hog. What do you call an itty-bitty pig? Hamlet. What do you call it when Hamlet cuts firewood? Pork chops. What do you call it when Hamlet steps on an apple while chopping firewood? Pork chops and applesauce. What should you call if Hamlet hurts himself while chopping wood? A hambulance! This Little Pig
This little pig went to the airport. Hamlet was his name.

He headed for Chicago For a Ping-Pong tournament game. He boarded the plane very proudly, And a tiny tear formed in his eye. Hamlet knew he was making history On the day that a pig could fly.