Brian Boone - The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Volume 4

This book is not authorized or sponsored by Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic Inc., Warner Bros., J.K. Rowling, or any other person or entity owning or controlling rights in the Harry Potter name, trademark, or copyrights. Copyright 2019 by Hollan Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Sky Pony Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

Sky Pony Press books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Sky Pony Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or Sky Pony is a registered trademark of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation. Visit our website at www.skyponypress.com. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file. Cover artwork by Amanda Brack and iStockphoto/Shutterstock Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-5107-4094-5 Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-4096-9 Printed in the United States of America Contents Introduction W hat qualities define a Ravenclaw? First of all theyre smart, theyre studious, and theyre dedicated to pursuing the truth and knowledge in all of its many forms.

Not so well-knownbut also trueis that Ravenclaws, those bearers of the blue and bronze, are brave, and are unfailingly loyal to their friends and to Hogwarts. Also, Ravenclaws are funny. Smart people almost always have a great sense of humor, and so we wanted to make this joke book for all the Ravenclaws out there. Not only do we think that a sharp and witty Ravenclaw like you would find The Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book: Raucous Jokes and Riddikulus Riddles for Ravenclaws to be quite charming, but that it will also cast a spell on you! But this book isnt just for Ravenclaws. No matter where the Sorting Hat placed you, theres something here for everyone to enjoy, even if youre a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff or even a Slytherin. (Or even a muggle!) Its full of jokes, riddles, puns, and word games about the people, places, and things that make J.K.

Rowlings world of wizards and witches so, well, magical! So accio yourself a comfortable chair, lumos that lamp and enjoy! Chapter 1 LIFE IN RAVENCLAW Q.So how is life as a Ravenclaw? A.Pretty Ravenclawsome! Q.Did you hear about the Ravenclaw who went to the Olympics? A.She won a blue-and-bronze medal! Q.What do you call a wizard who never leaves the library? A.A Ravenclaw! Q.What do you call a wizard who forgot to go to the Yule Ball because they were too busy studying? A.A Ravenclaw! Q.What do you get when you cross a Ravenclaw with a Hufflepuff? A.A Ravenpuff! Q.How does a Ravenclaw work a boat? A.They Rowena. Q.What do you call a giant trophy that Ravenclaw never wins? A.A House Cup. Q.Why did Ravenclaw never win a House Cup? A.Because it wasnt Gryffindor. Q.Whats the house song of Ravenclaw? A.Fly Like an Eagle. Q.What do you call a Ravenclaws dad? A.Her Raven Pa. Q.Did you hear about the Ravenclaw legacy? A.Her Ravenclaw mother was so excited she was a ravin ma! Q.What do you call someone whos almost smart enough to get into Ravenclaw? A.Hermione! Q.How was Ravenclaw Tower built? A.With a Raven saw.

Q.In the Ravenclaw dorms, how are the beds arranged? A.In Rowenas. Q.Did you hear that they named a body of water after Ms. Lovegood? A.It was Luna Sea! Q.What does a Ravenclaw bring to a picnic? A.Ravenslaw. Q.Why did every other Ravenclaw want to be friends with Luna? A.Because Luna Lovegood. Q.What NFL game would a Ravenclaw have a hard time choosing a team to root for? A.Eagles vs. Ravens.

Q.Whos the sharpest in Ravenclaw? A.The raven claw! Q.What do you call a daring Ravenclaw? A.Bravenclaw. Q.What do you call a smooth-faced Ravenclaw? A.Shavenclaw. Q.What do you call a thrifty Ravenclaw? A.Savenclaw. Q.What do you call a Ravenclaw who surfs? A.Rad-venclaw. Q.What do you call a Ravenclaw who hangs out in cemeteries? A.Gravenclaw. Q.What do you call a greedy Ravenclaw? A.Cravenclaw.

Q.What do you call a Ravenclaw who lives inside a mountain? A.Cavenclaw. Q.How many Ravenclaws does it take to change a light bulb? A.Just one. They stop reading long enough to say lumos, and then they go back to their book. Q.How many Ravenclaws does it take to change a light bulb? A.Just onethey quickly use some magic and get it done. Q.Why are Ravenclaws always ready for bed? A.Because they had to climb that gigantic staircase and now theyre very tired! Q.What do you call random students wandering the Hogwarts grounds? A.Ravenclaws who couldnt figure out the riddle to get into the Ravenclaw common room. Q.Did you hear about the mischievous Ravenclaw with a Time-Turner? A.They took every class.

Q.Did you know that lots of Ravenclaws dont graduate? A.They do so on purpose so they can stick around and use the library. Q.What do you call the last person in the library at night? A.A Ravenclaw. Q.Did you hear about the Ravenclaw who fell behind on their school work? A.They were only two months ahead instead of three. A Ravenclaw walked into a bar. A metal bar. They hurt their head.

They were reading and walking at the same time. Q.Why did the Sorting Hat get a headache? A.They had to listen to a potential Ravenclaws wild and zany thoughts! Q.Did you know there are two Ravenclaw common rooms? A.The official one, and the library. Q.Where do Ravenclaw musicians like to perform? A.The House of Blues and Bronze. The other Ravenclaws often wore sunglasses around Luna. She was just so much brighter. Q.What do you call a bunch of wizards who get together and study after school? A.Ravenclaws.

Q.Harry Potter wasnt the only wizard with a scar on his forehead. A fifth year Ravenclaw had one too. Why? A.She had an accio -dent. Q.Why was Harry Potter never going to be a Ravenclaw? A.He wasnt very logical. Were he a Ravenclaw, he would have grabbed one of his Hogwarts acceptance letters off the floor, instead of trying to catch one flying around in the air! Q.Did Luna go to college after Hogwarts? A.Yes, to a mooniversity. Q.What does the Grey Lady read in her spare time? A.Booooooooks! How to Know Youre in Ravenclaw If you remind the professor they forgot to assign homework and your classmates thank you.

When you come to a locked door, you dont knock or try to break it down you just wait for the riddle. When youre ready to cut loose on Friday night, you play two games of chess. Youre looking for the logical reasoning behind these jokes. Ravenclaw has WiFi. Its just that the password is the answer to one of the worlds hardest riddles, and it will change tomorrow. Q.Slytherin has a lake, but did you know that Ravenclaw has a sea? A.Luna-sea! Q.What shoes do Ravenclaws prefer? A.Air Jordans.