Brian Boone - Potty Humor: Jokes That Should Stink, But Dont

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Portable Press is a registered trademark of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC. Correspondence regarding the content of this book should be sent to Portable Press, Editorial Department, at the above address. Publisher: Peter Norton Associate Publisher: Ana Parker Developmental Editor: Vicki Jaeger Production Team: Jonathan Lopes, Rusty von Dyl, Julie Greene Author: Brian Boone Interior Design: SunDried Penguin Cover Design Concept: Michael Sherman eBook ISBN: 978-1-64517-719-7 eBook Edition: September 2020 CONTENTS When we first started this book, we didnt have any pee jokes.
But then they started to trickle in. ________________ Two boys head into the school bathroom and go into separate stalls. ________________ Two boys head into the school bathroom and go into separate stalls.

They finish at about the same time. The first boy goes to the sink to wash his hands, while the second boy heads for the door. The first boy asks, Hey, arent you going to wash your hands? I was taught that you always wash your hands after using the bathroom. The second boy just laughs and says, Well, I was taught to not pee on my hands. Knock-knock!
Whos there?
Impatient bladder. ________________ While out on his adventures in Sherwood Forest, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor and such, Robin Hood never once had to risk capture by stopping to find a bathroom. ________________ While out on his adventures in Sherwood Forest, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor and such, Robin Hood never once had to risk capture by stopping to find a bathroom.

Thats because he always had a Little John at his side. ________________ Q: What kind of bathroom is common at the North Pole? A: Ig-loos. ________________ Q: What kind of beverage would you give to someone too drunk to use the bathroom? A: A slur-pee. ________________ A little boy in church needed to go to the bathroom. Mom, can I go take a dump? he asks. Yes, his mother replies, but next time dont say dumpsay whisper.

Its far less crude. The next Sunday, the boy is sitting by his father, and again he needed to use the bathroom. Dad, I have to whisper, the boy said. Okay, the father replied. Whisper in my ear. ________________ Have you ever heard of an ool? Thats a pool with no p. (Theyre very rare.) ________________ I just love pee jokes. (Theyre very rare.) ________________ I just love pee jokes.

To me, theyre comedy gold. ________________ Q: What kind of exercise do you do after having too many Starbucks drinks? A: Pee-lattes. ________________ Knock-knock!
Whos there? Florida.
Florida who? Florida bathroom is all wet! ________________ Man: Hey, wheres the urology office? Receptionist: Just follow the yellow brick road. ________________ Q: What is your doctors favorite beverage? A: Probably those cups full of urine she always asks for. ________________ There are two types of people in this world:
those that pee in the shower, and liars. ________________ Knock-knock!
Whos there? Dino.
Dino who? Dino youre in there, I can hear you peeing! ________________ On the first day of school, a kindergarten teacher tells the class, If anyone needs to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.

A kid pipes up, How is that supposed to help? ________________ Q: Whats 20 feet long and smells like pee? A: The conga line at the old folks home. ________________ Husband: Should the kids pee before we get on the plane? Wife: Yeah. I should go pee myself. Husband: Or you could just use the bathroom over there. Three kids are walking through a forest when they come across a giant slide. A wizard stands beside it and tells the kids that whatever drink they want will appear on the slide as they go down it.

The first kid gets on the slide and shouts, Root beer! The second kid goes down the slide and shouts, Lemonade! The third kid hits the slide and shouts, Weeeeee! ________________ Q: How are toilet bowls like wedding anniversaries? A: Men tend to miss them both. ________________ A man broke up with his girlfriend and moved into a new apartment. He adopted a dog to keep himself company, and every day he took that dog for a walk past his ex-girlfriends place. And every day, that dog would pee on her flowerbeds. It was a classic case of Spot marks the ex. ________________ A man finishes peeing and his wife walks in after him. ________________ A man finishes peeing and his wife walks in after him.

Hey, she asks, did you just pee and not flush? Yes, he said. Its pretty clear. ________________ Maternity nurse: Maam, do you need to go to the bathroom? Woman: Yes, I could stand to pee. Husband: No, honey, you should probably sit down so it doesnt go everywhere. ________________ I remember this time when I was 10 years old and I wet the bed. My mom got so angry.

I was standing on her nightstand when she woke up. ________________ Knock-knock!
Whos there? Stella.
Stella who? Stella fraid of peeing your pants? My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down. I dont know why Id been carrying it around in the first place. An elderly couple sees their doctor for their annual checkup. The man is up first, and tells the doctor, Im eating well, and Im still in control of my bladder and my bowels. My only concern is that when I get up at night, some unknown force turns on the bathroom light for me.

The doctor says nothing and goes to the next room to talk to the wife. Your husband says that when he gets up at night to pee, some unknown force turns on the light. Do you know what he means by that? he asks. Darn it, she sighs. Hes peeing in the refrigerator again. ________________ Q: What question did Shakespeare ask right before he went to the bathroom? A: To pee, or not to pee? ________________ Patient: Doctor, youve got to help me. ________________ Q: What question did Shakespeare ask right before he went to the bathroom? A: To pee, or not to pee? ________________ Patient: Doctor, youve got to help me.