Matthew Fraser - Dad Jokes: 200 Awfully Good Dad Jokes
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- Book:Dad Jokes: 200 Awfully Good Dad Jokes
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- Publisher:Matthew Fraser
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- Year:2019
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Introducing The PERFECT Gift for Your Dad This Holiday Season (Although His Use of These Jokes May Come Back To Haunt You)
Are you going to cut the lawn?
Dad: I would but I dont know where the scissors are
Deep down we all love our Dads horrendous jokes, even the most cringe-worthy ones still can leave us in hysterics.
After all, they are told by your Dad, who despite his terrible jokes, you have endless love for and you only get one Dad after all!
So, wouldnt your Dad love to increase his personal collection of jokes he has ready to use no matter the situation he finds himself in?
Well, thats what makes these 200 Awfully Good Dad Jokes the perfect gift for your Dad, and your Dad will be forever thankful youre giving him more ways to add humor to his everyday life!
So, if you want to be left in even more hysterics by even cringier Dad jokes than before then scroll up and click Add to Cart.
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Dad Jokes: 200 Awfully Good Dad Jokes
Dad Jokes!
Matthew Fraser
Published by Matthew Fraser, 2019.
While every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.
DAD JOKES: 200 AWFULLY GOOD DAD JOKES
First edition. November 1, 2019.
Copyright 2019 Matthew Fraser.
ISBN: 978-1393694410
Written by Matthew Fraser.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
You know life is hard when I try to hug someone super sexy and then my face hits into the mirror.
Why wife thinks all men are annoying.
I said not all of them, some are dead.
I can keep secrets.
Its the people I tell that cant seem to.
You should always take my advice, its not as though Im dumb enough to.
My wife asked me to go out and get something that makes her look really sexy.
I got drunk.
Wife: I need some space to work on something
Dad: You should call NASA then
Wife: Its cold tonight honey
Dad: yes but if you go into the corner, its 90 degrees there.
Son: Make me a bagel please?
Dad: ok, abracadabra, you are now a bagel.
Wife: Did you buy me Perfume?
Dad: No, its for me.
Wife: Whats the weather like today?
Dad: I dont know I never asked it.
Daughter: What are you making for dinner?
Dad: Im telling your mom to make a roast.
Son: What time is it?
Dad: Time you got a watch son.
Dad: Honey can you come in here and turn on the light?
Wife: sure, whats up?
Dad: Nothing, thats it, thanks.
Wife: What time are you coming home from the bar?
Dad: When I run out of money.
I hate it when strangers open a door.
Its like I already know how to do it myself.
I dont understand the term when life gives you lemons.
Life only gives me crippling debt, anxiety and the inability to maintain an erection.
My wife loved the 50 Shades of Grey books so I bought her the DVD.
The thing is that its actually a porno in disguise.
Son: Wheres mom?
Dad: she left us...
Son: what? OMG? Where?
Dad: to the store I believe.
Wife: What do you want for dinner?
Dad: Rabbit?
Wife: what? From where?
Dad: from the pet store of course, its cheaper.
I dont understand Rush Hour.
Its the most difficult and slowest part of the working day.
Who is Beethovens favourite pop band?
The Bach street boys
What does Napolean Bonaparte call his toilet?
The waterloo
How did Stalin know communism wouldnt work?
There were red flags everywhere
Did you hear about Einsteins theory about space?
Its about time too.
Why do hipsters buy more apple products these days?
Because Steve Jobs is underground.
Why was Shakespeare so good in high school?
He didnt have to learn Shakespeare.
Why did the photon not carry luggage at the airport?
It was travelling light.
A Buddhist walks into a cocktail bar.
Make me one with everything.
I always tell actors I meet to break a leg.
Because every play has a cast.
If whales are so smart then why do they always swim near Japan?
Why is Cuba a great holiday destination?
Because everyone there is Havana good time!
How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
Stand on their foot.
Arguing with my wife is like reading Terms and Conditions online.
I eventually ignore it all and click I agree.
What happens when you throw a finnish guy off a boat?
Helsinki
What does a Frenchman say on a rollercoaster?
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